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Vision and Persistence

Sharing our newsletter from end February, as many singles are still single and it is halfway through the year!  Enjoy the read, it will inspire and encourage! Your professional matchmaker is here to help fast track you, better than any dating site can!

2nd August, 2017

IS FEAR REALLY BLOCKING LOVE FROM FINDING YOU?  PLEASE LOOK DEEP (and Shannon shares her personal journey!)

Hi once more to our precious perfect partners, the last Friday of February and nearly the end of the Month of Love!!  It was an interesting month!  I did quite a few radio talks and the TV show, and have also contributed to an article coming up in the Sunday Times, and there seems to be an emerging question all these media people ask, why can’t single people find love, it should be so easy?  I has made me think very deeply and I have also asked our LOVE GURUS for their input, so today we share all the bits and pieces of ‘stuff’ coming together!  See the interactions at the end of my piece……

I love the good energy everyone had this week – you are making friends (all of you knowing what the ultimate goal is!) and allowing a natural process to work, you are more awesome than you realise, I have “sold” you already, you only need to “show up”!

Through all the questions we have been answering lately with the media asking for our advice, and even from the responses from our own members, I have recognised that FEAR is a deeply embedded factor in many people!  I am even opening up here to you all on my own journey and how I have grown into love and abundance in the last 12 – 15 years, so please bear with me and know we can help you!  Look deep inside and look back at good introductions we have found for you, and ask yourself exactly why you could not even explore a relaxed and friendly coffee date to test destiny! Ask yourself if you really found an excuse (we covered the pathology of “busy, busy, busy” a few weeks ago already as a dodge) NOT to go on a pleasant outing because of some imprinted, deep psychological reason, fear or blockage – what truly got in the way?

So here is my truth …..(the extracts for our Sunday Times brief hereunder talk about ‘not my look’ and shallow things we klap you all about often so please don’t give us that one, LOL! We can concede though that anybody overweight (it speaks of poor health, not vanity), frumpy and not celebrating the divine feminine or masculine in a ‘presentation’ is acceptable!  Or if a member does not smile, look friendly and approachable in their pics, we can’t blame you, therefore we cannot be blamed when people decline to meet, you are all are in charge of your own image you portray.)

I have been meditating even deeper than usual on this syndrome of “fear factor” in all its forms, and have inspiration for our newsletter today as I think I may be on to something, you are welcome to disagree with me! I always use my own Self as a guinea pig and put myself in all your shoes ………in all honesty, I would have fear that I may not be good enough, nice enough, bright enough, sexy enough, able to give enough, trust enough, will I fail, will I screw up, will I be hurt/betrayed or abused …….and I know actually I enjoy a time now when I can tell myself I don’t really care what others think and even if I am quite a FOB (Feisty Old Bitch) at times I am liberated by my truths and acceptances of my own warts and all…….and you know what?  I seem to be liked by more people than I expected, because I am, finally, being myself! Up until about 12 years ago it worried me senseless that I had to be better, be perfect, be liked, be affable and agreeable (and I actually took a lot of abuse! Which is a vicious cycle because one then tends to grovel even more for approval!) I tried so hard but was never happy deep down…….man, it was so nerve wracking!!  It made me even more vulnerable because people see a “people pleaser” a mile away and you end up being distrusted….because who the hell just “gives” these days?  Why is she being nice? What is Shannon’s agenda? My journey was great …..I started to accept me as I am …….I can trust my God-given ethics, kindness, sense of justice, smarts, humour and loving nature which is  inherently in my genes and will not let me down, and I have no qualms in telling someone to “Buzz Off”…. if I feel it is necessary!….so I do every day with gratitude and abundance! “Those that matter care, and those that don’t care don’t matter!”

Tons of love and light, and see hereunder PLEASE how this subject is being discussed on every platform – not just Perfect Partners, but an eternal issue we all have!!  Enjoy some enlightenment

Fond Regards
Shannon

Is fear stopping love from finding you? By Dr. Bloomberg

Though all my many years of couple counselling and relationships issues, what seemed to come up many times when I do radio and TV shows is the common theme “ how do I trust again? How do protect myself from getting hurt?”

So many times we enter new relationships, EXPECTING UNCONSCIOUSLY to be hurt again. We don’t open up and don’t put all our energy into the new relationship, for fear of rejection and hurt. Please see past trauma as part of your life lesson – you did learn something after all?

Our fears are literally not allowing us to be open and experience. Well I can’t blame everyone, we only human, however, guess what….what you put out there you get back, what you fear usually comes to you. So we create the same patterns, partners that hurt and reject us. (Veronica can ‘recode’ your memory chips and banish past trauma! And I am here to chat!)

The trend I am seeing in the dating game, is that so many people are finding fault with the “potential persons” profile so that they don’t have to meet them. This is happening unconsciously. Similarly, if you find fault with your new relationship and break up before they break up with you. Maybe they were the right partner?! A lot of us are our own worst enemies. So please don’t block your potential Perfect Partner before you have even gone on a date! Go with an open mind that and the worst thing that can happen is that you make a new close friend, have fun and who knows? Life is short, go out experience and enjoy and maybe you will like it. Guess what.. no one is perfect, but you may just find a prefect one for you is release the fear and do it anyway!! Give love a chance, it happens when least expected and comes of nowhere!  You were born to be loved …….

Good luck!
Dr. Charissa Bloomberg
www.hiddendimensions.co.za.

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A VERY HAPPY MEMBER – finding her feet!

My dearest Shannon, I truly appreciate your comforting reply and the time you dedicated to me. Thanks so much for explaining so many things I never thought important – dating is not easy but you have made it such a friendly, safe and pleasurable experience!!  I am enjoying meeting your truly eligible bachelors, guys who would NEVER have crossed my path in a lifetime if it was not for you!!  I love being sociable again and do not feel invisible and that my life is just a boring treadmill (and no more wasting time online dating) and I know now love will find me when the time is right!

Your insight and understanding make me feel I am in good hands. You are very honest and I believe what you say, change the person and the circumstances will change!

I am sure you have a very challenging job, but you handle it extremely well. I cannot imagine how you take care of every culture, religion, personality types and age groups, and you certainly have a gift. You do sell “people to people” and not one person is the same ……there surely is no other industry with so much diversity and individual needs!

Thank you for your kind words.

Fond regards
AK

You rock!!  you really are special dearest AK, and we are loving working with and for you!! There are never any problems, only solutions …….and yes, sometimes I have to say it like it is and it makes my heart cringe as the last thing I ever want is being perceived as uncaring …..I do care HUGELY, and just a little intervention can make so many positive and wonderful things happen!!  J

I know as a coach my job is to make people feel safe and confident, but I can never play “emperor with no clothes” as telling people things to make them feel better that are not true, is deceiving them and an insult to their intelligence!  Only when facing the truth can personal growth happen. I rather be dumped on – my shoulders are broad! LOL!

Your wisdom and high EQ is impressive and I am humbled and appreciative you understand!

Trust your matchmaker angel – we see the WHOLE bigger picture of every member, as every individual is a friend to us and we often can see potential others may not see – it is impossible to explain in words our instinct, residual knowledge, perceptions and GUT feel sometimes!

You are going to find someone awesome – your energy is ‘clear’ and simple and you do not complicate things, you will be fine in this difficult matter of finding a lifetime investment of the heart! So much heartache and sorrow we see here daily – people seeking expert help eventually after making too many mistakes, and bad choices leading to huge trauma in their lives!! A reckless moment can lead to years of troubles!!  So our motto is “prevention is better than cure!” …….we see many folk choose to meet based purely on looks and the chemistry rush……oh dear, then they only find out later they do not even really like the person …….after investing huge life force, time and heart quotient.

I am glad you are meeting two of our most eligible bachelors ……we are always at your side!

xxxxx

Fond Regards
Shannon

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A VERY HAPPY COUPLE!

Dear Shannon /  Inge  & Team

I would like to express my sincere thanks and gratitude for activating a match between me and a finely selected “PERFECT PARTNER.”

After much hesitation,  trepidation, deliberation, and  a few prompts and prods from your team asking me to please  act upon the profile you sent  me, and to respond to your emails, I decided to proceed.

We started off with telephonic conversations which would often span hours on end, well after midnight…..this continued for about a month  ….before we decided to meet. Needless to say, as confident as I usually am, I was VERY nervous that day, kept wondering how to get through the first few minutes  !!!!  Well the first thing he showed me when I elegantly arrived,  was a picture on his phone of what looked like a tortured specimen of some sort of alien……eerrr,mmmm , .which actually turned out to be his cat soaked in soap suds taking a bath, looking horrendously cute. That broke the ice I suppose, as I chuckled at how nervous we both were that we needed a sopping wet cat to come to photographic rescue ! We had a cocktail together and then proceeded to enjoy a fine meal. I was my normal self, confident yet maintaining my humility, no pretentiousness and made him feel relaxed and comfy.

The content of our conversations were and still are varied, intelligent, current, interesting and encapsulated with respect and tolerance for each other’s views. The past is gone and never even worth a mention! Our future is full of “what next!?”. Our ability to communicate seamlessly with such like-mindedness kept enticing us to keep the communication channels alive.

I being an ambivert and he an introvert, has worked out perfectly, as we are both happy in ourselves and compliment and respect our unique qualities whilst celebrating the many things we enjoy in common.

We have been together for the past 6 months and it has been nothing less than pure joy and a tantalising delight to the senses, to be in a relationship with a man who is so well grounded, mature, caring, gorgeous,  someone who has crept into the crevices of my heart, has me smitten and I can confidently inform you that I have fallen in love with him. We have both been open about our mutual feelings for each other and the visible  attraction and chemistry that exists between us.

( He also appreciates my petite little frame and that was one of the attracting factors for him.  )

Not a day day goes by without us being in contact, whether it is a  quick sms, or a little heartfelt emoji , a telephone call in between breaks or an endearing whatsapp ” thinking of my XXXXX” and my response ” I miss you my XXX” , the emotions that every interaction stirrs up is a feeling that I wish every one of your perfect partners could experience as much as we are.

Thank you very much for such a perfect match. I truly love my new man ! We could not have done this without your deep caring help when needed and encouragement to fly and be brave!  Also, to always be positive, because we attract what we put out …….my manifestations came true!

Attached is a happy picture of us !  Keep up the good work and wishing you many more happy success stories such as ours.

With a heart full of gratitude
DA

Hi again dear angel ….I know we have texted but I wanted to also email and say I am beyond thrilled and pleased for both of you, two people who are very precious to us, never complained and never bugged us, trusting and just waiting and knowing we would find you that ONE perfect match through a process of elimination and some trials……the LAST, hopefully for a lifetime!!  You are both very beautiful people in and out!! Patience and belief in us paid off!!

You make a stunning couple and your energy is palpable ….gorgeous photo…..we can see you are totally smitten with each other!!  I must compliment you too – XXXX was never pretentious at all, but he always knew what he wanted and he never compromised, so well done on nabbing one of our most eligible Platinum bachelors ever!!  We are very proud! And yes indeed, your taking care of your petite little frame and staying always naturally healthy and gorgeous won the day ……and your ladylike humility and fine mind had him at “hello”…the door was open to getting deeper into the soul.

Please keep in touch!!

Always in love and light, love to you both…..

Fond Regards
Shannon

13/07/2017

 

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The Irrational Fear of Being Alone

Hi Shannon, Inge and the PP Team,

Thank you thank you  for this great read!!!!. Made my morning. I have only been a member for a few weeks and already I feel substance in being a member as you have held my hand over the first steps with warmth and compassion and I don’t feel like a “dating desperado” but a woman worthy of finding the right match, with a dignified recruiting service. You always communicate and leave nothing to chance. You sure do get me and my needs too! I can truly see why you are rated the most professionals agency in the country, working with professionals ……

I just had to share my take on the article. It feels like the writer was speaking to me- she articulated feelings like I would have expressed them on the journey to finding oneself. I was mortified of being alone after a 8 year relationship. But after  almost 2 years of being alone, am liberated, peaceful and in the right mental space to welcome love and sunshine in my life. I know myself better and no longer feel that my identity is tied to another individual. I wish more people could have the courage to walk away from a relationship that doesn’t grow them. Fear is the strongest emotion of all in my humble opinion. It crippled me for 8 years.     I’m truly happy to be with the PP family and pleased with the “soul food” you’re dishing to nourish us.

Have a fabulous weekend

Warmly
Carol

Hi Carol

THE IRRATIONAL FEAR OF BEING ALONE – RESEARCHED FOR YOU THIS WEEK! …a longish read but very good, even for the fundis! (We see clearly that members who read our stuff succeed far quicker than those who don’t! information is power!). …..nobody need ever be alone ……we are doing something about it! even if you are in a relationship, learn to avoid the cracks……

Happy Friday to all our esteemed perfect partners – old and new, and many old members have returned and many newbies are settling in, it promises action for all!!  Finally we have some normal weeks ahead, and hope you also have some ‘me time’ for your own needs, remember, balance is key to a healthy and long life! we wish all our new happy couples a loving and thrilling new future – together forever!

Many of our members are finding personal sessions with Bonita, Veronica and Thinus have helped tremendously!! Work on the “inner” with our coach ladies, and get the “outer” you have always wished for with Thinus – he guarantees success!! Again our mantra is, if you are not getting the action you hoped for, find the reason – we have the database and do everything we can to find your ideal (and real) and are eternally inviting new members in for all our benefit, because the next newbie may be YOUR match (and still sadly declining many that we know we cannot assist! These are often lovely people and need coaching first because they simply are not yet ready) – so do a little self-search on what you can do to improve outcomes, and work with us. Your attraction factor is your success factor – we cannot deliver love on a plate, being loveable gets you love in return.

Days are getting cooler and nights longer, which bodes well for new romance!!  We will be sending as many intros next week to everyone, if there are compatible matches!!

Love and light then until next time, and please read hereunder ……even if you know it all, a refresh helps! We research tons of stuff every week …..and always try to save you time browsing, by giving you the best! Our comment in blue ….

Fond Regards
Shannon

The Irrational Fear of Being Alone

By Susan Winter

The fear of being alone is terrifying for most people I know. This paralyzing projection keeps many a couple trapped in a dysfunctional loop of unhappy relations. Though the reasons stated for not separating include children, loss of money or “it’s just not the right time,” at the core of this stasis is a fear of being alone. Someone, it seems, is better than no one.

The fear of being alone is an irrational construct. Alone doesn’t mean “lonely.” Yet, the false premise states that clinging to “another” for safety will somehow guarantee our safety. Security derived from an outer source is impossible. In the absence of our own self-love, we cannot connect to another in a meaningful way. Staying in an unhappy partnership is viewed as being of greater value than honoring the self. It is fear. Projected fear. The loneliness imagined will only be experienced when not united with our selves.

I’ve counseled many people on the merits of being comfortable in their own skin and finding peace within. While this is the answer, it’s astounding how much resistance is given to the concept.  Many people just don’t have enough courage to love themselves! Even more reason to speak to one of our Love Gurus……

The reason for this resistance lies in outer identification. We’ve been told through movies, music and literature that we’re incomplete if we’re alone. Only the presence of “another” can alleviate the void we feel inside and make us feel whole. In actuality, we feel the void when we’re not aligned with ourselves.

It’s folly. But still, the myth continues in the minds of far too many. How enticing the belief that someone else will be the balm to soothe us and the cure to our discontent? And how sad the realization that no one can provide solace for what we lack, inside. If you joined us hoping to find someone to complete you or rescue you, or be a trophy or conquest……….you need to rethink your goals!

No outer force that can sooth inner discontent. In pressing our partner to do our work for us, they will certainly fail. Then, they become the problem. Our relationship becomes the problem. The love that was supposed to complete us becomes a battleground of conflicting wills as each holds the other’s happiness in their fickle hands.

The fear of being alone is far greater than the real doing of it. Taking time to be alone with ourselves can be the greatest journey of a lifetime. The discovery of what we like, what we feel, what we want and who we really are is liberation at its finest.

When actualized, one discovers the delight of a freedom far greater than imagined. After all, the worries and projected fears have passed, there comes the unexpected ah-ha moment — we are fine. Our former avoidance seems ridiculous in hindsight. There is peace and contentment. Then, joy.

We realize we have ourselves as good company. We begin to value the life we have…….and have far more to offer, a value add as a ‘whole person’ to a new love.  We learn our fears of being alone were completely unfounded. We create a new platform from which love may grow.

When we’ve worked through the fear of being alone, we may assess the validity of our existing partnership. With the pressure off our partner to save us, the relationship that seemed “dead” often finds new life. As we’ve changed, our partner must change in correspondence. From the point of inner connection, we may amend what we have or magnetize new suitors who also like themselves and like us. So many divorced people who join us tell us “I am divorced because he/she did not understand my needs…..” hmmmm, why were you needy in the first place? Why did you not simply ask nicely for what will please you, because your loved one sure as hell wants to please you!!

Comfort within one’s self is the best starting point for a new relationship, or for a current love affair in peril. It’s the work that must be done by no one, but us. And, once done… is cherished as the edification of all that we are, and have now become. Unconditional love is born of tolerance, understanding, respect and giving ……..but some only take!

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You guys do an amazing job

Morning dear Shannon,

How is your long weekend going? Month end has come and now gone………..again J

Thanks for asking about my beloved fur friends  – dogs are amazing and they say if you want loyalty and a friend………………get a dog J There are so many tearful movies about dogs and their loyalty and one that comes to mind, is the Richard Gere movie set in Japan (can’t remember details) but when RG character died, his dog sat in the same spot in the town square for ages, waiting for his master to come home L J incredible!!! A true story and so profound the story, the Mayor of the town erected a statue of the dog.

Dealing with Mr. Public is tough and reading your newsletter, reminded me of when I was a Service Provider for Vodacom in 1994 for five years. It’s wild sometimes J

You guys do an amazing job and I remain very impressed at the high calibre of ladies you have offered me in my 6 month spell so far – everyone a potential friend if not The One – and I know we are getting close!!  My life has changed dynamically! I wish and hope your members appreciate how hard you work for us all, with such professional care and attention to detail.  This is not like any other ‘dating service’ but more like being a member of an exclusive single’s friendship club, with you introducing all your friends to each other!!  I do seriously consider you a friend!! When my helicopter is serviced, I plan to meet you all!

Short and sweet and merci bucket,

MT

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