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No married couple expects to find themselves on the trash heap of divorce, but sadly people do outgrow each other or find they simply do not have that “special love” any more and want to move on. There could even be more unpleasant reasons. The quicker and more painless it is done, the less it costs and the sooner they can start over. This South Africa and Johannesburg matchmaker discusses taking the pain out of divorce and starting over again.

Everyone should want the wounds to heal as soon as possible. It is sad enough to close a chapter on a life and love once shared. Its best to just suck it in and realize maybe it wasn’t meant to be. Begin the healing and carry the life lessons learned forward into a more meaningful new relationship.

Our Perfect Partner’s expert matchmaker and dating coach, Shannon, encourages the singles she works with who are seriously seeking new love, to be sure they make the right choices at the start.

It is easy to just fall in lust but sadly this usually lasts only as long as the hangover or high of oxytocin.  Knowing what you want and what suits you best for now, and the long term, is the best dating strategy. To embrace the idea of getting expert help with well-chosen personal introductions to like minded others, can fast track you into a wonderful new relationship. Never be afraid to find out what your professional matchmaker can do to help.

Contacting us for a free interview is the first step.

The normal procedure in an opposed divorce:

Divorce proceedings can lead to a long, drawn-out and very expensive procedure if the parties are not able to reach a settlement before going to trial. Once the plaintiff issues a summons for divorce and the summons has been served on the defendant, the defendant has ten days to defend the matter, and a further twenty days to answer to the allegations contained in the particulars of the claim. Because divorce proceedings can take years to finalize, especially in the High Court, there is also the possibility of an interim maintenance application in both the Regional and High Court, which leads to further delays.

Once both parties have discovered what documentation they wish to use at trial, a pre-trial conference needs to be conducted for the court to determine whether the matter is ready for trial. If the matter is declared trial ready, a trial date will be allocated, and the parties can be up to three years down the line from the date of issuing the summons.

Settlement reached before the summons has been issued:

The above-mentioned procedure can be avoided to a large extent, if the divorcing parties agree to work together amicably from the beginning and are able to reach a settlement before formally instituting legal proceedings. The settlement agreement in divorce proceedings is referred to as a “consent paper”.

This is especially helpful in divorces with marriages where the community property needed to be divided is substantial, although it can work in any divorce. The objective is to reach a settlement as soon as possible, as the division of the assets will hopefully be relatively simple.

Consent paper:

The parties will need to address all the patrimonial consequences of the divorce in the “consent paper”. An agreement needs to be reached on the division of movable and immovable assets, and the possible realization of certain assets in order to make the division of the assets easier. Furthermore, if there are minor children involved in the divorce, a settlement needs to be reached as to with which parent the minor children will reside, and the visiting rights of the other parent. The maintenance of the minor children will also need to be addressed, and the possible rehabilitative/lifelong maintenance of a maintenance dependent spouse.

Procedure of a settled divorce:

If the parties reach a settlement by means of a consent paper before a summons is issued, the consent paper will be attached to the particulars of the claim of the summons. The summons will still need to be issued and served by the sheriff on the defendant. Once the summons has been served, and the ten days to defend the matter has passed (which will happen in a case which was settled before the issuing of the summons), the plaintiff in the matter can request a date from the registrar of the court on the unopposed roll. Once a date is received, the matter still needs to be set down in accordance with the rules of court, and the defendant needs to be notified of the date. However, on the court date itself, only the plaintiff and his/her legal representative need to be in court. The terms of the consent paper will then form part of the divorce order.

Benefits of an early settlement:

The benefits of reaching an early settlement in a divorce are that the parties will not have to spend large sums on legal costs, which would be the case if a divorce is opposed and go to trial. It will also ensure the swift conclusion of the matter, which can be concluded in a few months. Children benefit from a swift settlement of a divorce, as they do not have to live through a drawn-out legal battle, in which they usually become bargaining tools. Thus, an early settlement is an outcome which should be endeavored for, as it is in the best interests of all parties involved.

Hopefully as this Johannesburg matchmaker discusses taking the pain out of divorce and starting over again, the process is as simple as possible.

Wishing you all a wonderful new start in finding love again!