Hi dear Wanda,
Ahhhhh, how I got immediate insight to your situation!! All my experience, insights and instincts just went “boom” into place! I just so understand your situation! I have been there! In fact after a divorce I remarried and then was widowed, so starting over twice has been one of my personal strengths! I wish I had a personal matchmaker back then to ‘recruit’ for me!
When I retired from the corporate world in all things ‘human sciences’ I decided to start Perfect Partners with the goal, mainly, of helping others to start over by offering a professional matchmaking service with a human touch – a voice people can talk to. We are unlike any other dating site! I had experienced both times quite a shift in my social scene (my married friends seemed to disappear or were scarce) as I started out – my lifestyle was different and getting into a world of Singles was quite hairy! I had no shortage of suitors but felt very vulnerable! A sensitive matchmaking service to look out for me would have been very welcome! Some of them were quite an experience. I do enjoy my own time and company, but I realised I had to find my niche in this new world ……which I successfully did (I tried a few so-called elite single dating sites but it was awful) and now can happily profess that I am in a very wonderful relationship with a guy who is also my best friend! We still respect each other’s space and maintain our individuality (in fact we are chalk and cheese as he is quite the pedantic analyst and realist, while I am more the academic romantic) and we balance each other out, always interesting and never a dull moment as we approach things from different viewpoints but manage to come to the same outcomes!
I do recommend a no-obligation chat on how personal matchmaking works – we can explain that this new adventure is one of purely networking with a chosen (you get to choose from our prospects who have been relatively well screened as stable, healthy (mind, body and soul) and committed (no baggage, sad sacks or players or perverts) and normal selection of great guys – you are only making friends and opening new doors to possibilities! You only start ‘dating’ once there is mutual attraction).
Love will find you when the time is right and it is never predictable! I can see you are not needy, co-dependent or desperate (sorry, but these descriptors fit most singles out there, hence we are so careful who we sign up but we also help those that need our ‘date coaching’ to get passed these issues so they can confidently enjoy our matchmaking service) so making new friends just means a nice new dimension to your current life……at your pace and in your own time! Everyone who wants to try this matchmaking exercise seems to start with the final outcome in mind, envisioning (in panic) a sudden committed relationship with a new person invading your space, virtually a faceless stranger! LoL! That is flipping scary! Nope, it does not happen this way ….it is a slow process of just getting comfortable and can be hugely rewarding as it is such a gift to mix and mingle with new friends!
The norm is to receive one or too good matches a month, maybe even more depending on your own pace, so that you can spend time getting to know each other slowly. (All our protocols and strategies are in place after our brief ‘induction’ to settle you with your own plans). This is NOT like internet when you get a barrage of hundreds of hits from men clamouring and knocking you over! It is tasteful, selective and respectful……and fun! You would get a concise CV and current pics by email of every proposed intro, so you can ‘yay or nay’ right from your laptop, before even leaving your front door! We find that if two proposed intros both like each other’s profile and ask to meet, there is already a good spark of interest – so it is very comfortable. And yes, it gives a nervous zing and some butterflies, but that is what being alive is all about! (These profiles are anonymous enough that no guy could ever find you or know who you are directly! So you safe to just decline any intros!).
Soooooo, on this lovely cooler morning, here is a long read, but I feel it is my karmic duty to advise and try to assist! A brief orientation chat will explain more, then we can book the no-obligation telephone interview …….it highlights many subconscious thoughts (sifting the throw away ones and keeping the positives) and is quite self-determining – then you know for sure if you ready or not! I have a psychology background and specialise in the single dynamic, so we look carefully at everything.
I know you may still be grieving, but life goes one and transformation is a slow process, grief becomes good memories despite maybe a few hard knocks before, and new adventures and new friends are a pleasure! I do not know your age, but I am now in my sixties so I can assure you – I live a very full and rewarding life and I have the wisdom and luxury to choose what my priorities in life are! BLACH!!
I would to chat – please just give me a day/evening and time to call ……I predict we would have an interesting chat anyway!
Much love and light,
Thanks for your mail and your concern.
I did receive your mail regarding costs, thank you for that. You are definitely very professional matchmakers as I have spoken to others and they are not nearly as caring as you!
I am just not sure right now about this whole dating thing. Although I am lonely at times, it has only been 17 months since my husband died and I am still toiling with the idea of meeting other men socially. I work with them all the time in business and don’t have a problem with that.
Will keep in touch.