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What Must I Say?

First Date Conversation

Planning Having a plan for your first date conversation might sound a little crazy, but it will help give you some confidence. Your first date conversation plan should be a loose idea of what you want to talk about and at what points during your first date. You should prepare for the beginning, middle and end of the first date. You may never actually even need the plan as everything might flow naturally, but again, prepare just in case.

The beginning of a first date can make the date or break the date, so go easy. Don’t rush straight in with a joke or the funny news story we spoke about earlier. Ease into the conversation; ask your date about their journey to the date or about their job. If you are at a restaurant, which is always a good idea for a first date, talk about the menu, food and wine. Maybe ask your date what they fancy from the menu. You have read his/her profile and know their interests – encourage them to tell you all about it!

The middle of the first date is very important, you don’t want to let the conversation dip and end up with uncomfortable silences and long pauses. Listen with genuine interest and expand on what they say. Ask follow up questions and pay a real interest. If the conversation is beginning to waver then this might be a good time to tell them about the funny news story you saw. Be clued up on the news and what is happening in the world, ask for opinions.

The end of the first date is the time, if you want to, to secure a second date. You could do this by changing the subject to talk about films and then ask if there is anything they want to see at the cinema at the moment. Say that you where thinking of going to see that film next week and suggest that you might go together. You can use this sort of approach of other things as well, not just films. The most important thing is to secure a second date. If you both like sailing, suggest a day out. If you like music, suggest a concert. Always follow up with positive plans if you agree to go along.

Flirting Tips – DO’s

  • Put a smile on your face, this is the most important thing you can do when flirting as it shows you are friendly, comfortable and enjoying yourself.
  • Talk to the person you are flirting with about things you like and enjoy. For example if you like football, say you do. Avoid controversial topics or things you don’t like. Saying things like “I hate…” makes you sound negative and being negative is always a mistake when flirting.
  • While flirting make regular direct eye contact and hold their gaze slightly longer than usual but don’t force it and don’t stare. Try to make it look natural.
  • Ask questions about the things the person you are flirting with is talking about to show you are listening and interested, even if you’re not.
  • ‘I wonder’ and ‘I think’ are good ways to start sentences when flirting. • Ladies, playing with hair, a straw or stirrer can be alluring to men when done right!!!
  • Give sincere compliments to the person you are flirting with, people love to be flattered. • Casually touching the person you are flirting with on the arm or hand can be appreciated, but be careful and don’t over do it.
  • Sit up straight with your chin up when flirting, slouching will give off the wrong impression. • If you are introduced, always offer your hand to shake, repeat their name and say hello clearly and ask a question to get the ball rolling.
  • Remember, when flirting, use all the above in moderation, if you over do it, it will seem fake and forced.

Flirting Tips – DONT’S

  • When flirting never use chat up lines, they simply don’t work and will just make you look like a fool. • Try not to fidget when flirting. Fidgeting will make it look like you are uncomfortable and nervous. This might well be the case, but you don’t want to let the person you are flirting with know.
  • Don’t cross your arms across your chest as this comes over as defensive and the last thing you are trying to be when flirting is defensive.
    Never look down when speaking while flirting, look at the person you are flirting with and try to make regular eye contact. Remember you are flirting with them, you’re not flirting with the ground
  • Try not to punctuate sentences with nervous ‘emm’ or ‘huh’ sounds and never use phrases like ‘y’know’
  • While flirting do not bite finger nails, pick at cuticles and never ever scrape dirt from beneath your nails, if you’re out to flirt they should be clean already!!!