Indeed gender roles in this day and age are a big issue! Women fought for their liberation and rights over past decades and had to endure bad relationships because they simply had no choices and nowhere to go, even if they were in the worst abusive situations! The “Stepford Wife” syndrome prevailed!
First we saw the emergence of the “tough lady” who wanted men to know she is equal if not better, from around the 70’s, as women started getting an education and learning many skills preserved for the hallowed halls of the boy’s club……and men crumbled in the face of this rather “butch attitude” in shock and horror as they looked for a suitable “wee little wife” and found them in short supply (hence we heard from 15 years ago until recently from the guys “Oh please tell me, where have all the real ladies gone?”).
Yes, we saw women wearing ties to work! Boardroom tigresses! Women had buying power! The poor males went a-courting back then and not reading his changing landscape, were put down, immediately by triumphant Amazonian types, “I don’t NEED a man, I want an equal partner to complement my life!!” ……women demanded equal rights in relationships….men had to be better and step up, lazy didn’t crack it, guys had try to understand the fairer sex, not as mere “assets” but as real people…….and the competition was on between the sexes as everyone was fighting for his/her recognition! (Maybe men were rolling over with all those pink ties and shirts a few years ago? LOL!).
……..and then our sistas started realising the REAL men were also missing in action now and men had been forced to ditch chivalry and become women’s playmates, sex accessories, dancing partners, whatever, if the genders wanted to mix……. “Where have all the good men gone?”……suddenly every man was a player or a creep. A mommy’s boy because he still respected the female divine and opened the door for her, or a Peter Pan who never grew up to be King!
As a relationship coach I find more and more we are encouraging women to put back their frilliest bras (we burnt them back then, remember?) get their Barbie going and display their feminine goddess within! (The guys still won’t mind if they change their own tyres and light bulbs or beat them up Everest or win the Argus cycle race! LOL! but they will at least identify this species of humanity sitting in front of him fluttering her eyelids, as an intrinsic woman! Then his juices start to flow and his chivalry has a chance, charm and grace can be risked, rather than a slap in the face – even hypothetically speaking!
So there is a movement now where really confident and “secure within themselves” guys are ASKING to meet “strong and independent ladies – because I love mental stimulation and a vibrant, positive lady ……but she must still be her own sex symbol and carry her feminine flag high”….and they also have had a fest of free sex and now know that for a relationship to last, sex alone is not only going to keep him interested (note ladies!). And the ladies are learning how wonderful it is to have a real man courting, flirting and respecting her on all levels!
IT.IS.ALL.IN.THE.PACKAGING!!! men are visual creatures ……110% and forever!! What lady does not like to look gorgeous, sexy and ravishing? Let’s go do it! Grow that hair, paint those nails and wear those heels! Women with boyish hairstyles, don’t care about their figures and look like wrestlers, wear no make-up and who dress like men, in cargo pants and worker’s boots, are not even attracting the lesbians!
The irony is, most men actually give the power (the REAL power) back to the woman he loves when he asks “What would you like my darling?”…..men want to please us women, it is their role and sole purpose on the planet, they still “provide and protect” ….even if it is not dragging home a dead bear and fighting off the wolves, in a modern context he provides love, adoration, warmth and soul mate love and security in other ways, and all he wants is affirmation he is valued as a MAN …with a lovely, kind and smart lady on his arm……then his ego and libido are intact! And yes ….he often cooks and washes the dishes too…..so there is hope gals!!
Women also need an affirmation these days they are appreciated, and playing hard ball is also a way of saying “I am not desperate or needy, but worthy of a great guy!” …….and if she sticks to this, she will have the lead bull chasing her and picking her out of the herd!
Lovely strong and independent (but feminine) ladies are here to stay, and chivalry is not dead! We do so love our gallant and charming bachelors!
From our hearts to yours,
Shannon and the Team