Let’s see if the universe is ready to spread “The Love” around my life!
Dear Shannon,
Your articles are amazing! You condense a lot of info into a ten minute read and I loved your articles on “…..the truth will p*ss you off but it will set you free” in this mission of finding love!
I am relatively new at this dating game in my efforts to meet eligible bachelors I can resonate with and hopefully share my love with one day and I am feeling very safe with you guys as you really cover every angle and make this so easy. After our few email exchanges I feel like I know you and I suppose you get that a lot. You are a blessing, a gift from the universe and I am so very grateful. Not because you are a saint, but you are so very honest which is surely difficult at times. I prefer this though to a “cover up” that makes me just feel good (or to pamper my illusions), which is just “icing on the cake”, but I know I AM safe because you speak only truths about this dating game.
The timing for me is right and I am ready for balance and that someone special. I am very fortunate to be blessed with a good and satisfying life and even more so with a happy disposition. My life is so fulfilling that I could live it on my own, however to love and be loved in return is one of the greatest experiences of life…..so lets see if the universe is ready to spread ‘the love’ around my life.
You create so much good karma that I feel it sitting so far from you.
Have a wonderful and blessed day.
Perfect PartnersMost amazing dates – where do you find such awesome bachelors!?
Hello my stunning Shannon! So good to hear from you and hope you are keeping well. Gosh, you have really had me out on some amazing dates in the two months since I joined (the best investment I ever made!) with very interesting and sincere bachelors, all pretty exciting and always gentlemen!
What a good looking guy and in such great shape for his age (which at first concerned me until I got to his pictures)! It is a definite yes from me, his profile reads very well…..and look forward to making contact. He is only 12 years older and I realise I should stop limiting myself because of my notions on age! Age is indeed relative!
Geez you guys are keeping me busy, I have a coffee date tonight and then another one on Tuesday……and I am still in the “friend zone” with the three I recently met……all very different types of personalities but I am keeping the ‘window shopping’ approach as suggested.
All my love and light to you my wonderful cupid.
JD
Perfect PartnersA true story – I took a chance on your suggestion…and love found me!
Hi Inge and team
It has been two years and I wanted to give you an update……..
I met R two years ago tomorrow and so much has happened since then.
When you sent me his profile I was very hesitant as I had been in a very bad space. I actually said no at first, but you twisted my arm. THANK YOU!! We met on a dark and stormy night and the just hit it off! Proof that one must be open to possibilities as anything can happen! I learnt NEVER to try and engineer things, destiny will happen as it should! Your date coaching and support saw me through many empty days, and it paid off!
We’ve been together since then, moved in together six months into our relationship and bought a beautiful house together this year and now have a gorgeous Great Dane puppy (June) to boot!
Although life has thrown some curveballs at us, we’re still going strong, thanks to you and the team!
I wanted to say thank you for bringing this amazing person into my life! Using Perfect Partners was the best decision I could have made!
Love, JM
Hi JMarie,
O, Woweeeee…. Thank you so much for the email! It always warms my heart to hear from our old members… Especially such a beautiful love story…. we remember clearly how you were just not “connecting” out there and one day we sent you R’s profile and said “just meet!” …….you may surprise yourself! Indeed, the journey starts with “hello!” …..and here we are two years later, thanks for sharing.
We are happy to hear that you are still going strong. We wish you all the best and will send you our little love angels to guide you both. You are both fabulous people and deserve all the happiness the world…
Stay blessed,
Love and Light Always..
Fond Regard
Inge
Huge success with date coach and new image
Hi Inge, Shannon and Veronica,
I trust you are well.
I am doing great! I need to compliment you an excellent professional match making service, a really warm, friendly and safe environment and human contact always at hand if I have a wobble!
Inge, your step by step guidance helped me overcome fear, the more I learnt about how this works, the more confident I became. You are a fabulous matchmaker!
Also, your guidance on my “dating image” was incredibly helpful as I now see myself quite differently – my confidence has grown with my improved “looks”! Why did I not bother to look my best before? Perhaps I cared more about everyone else and neglected myself! My new image and make-over took 2 days, and changed my life and it was such fun…..your guidance on what eligible bachelors really like in a lady, opened my eyes. Silly, but I feel I could “date myself” now I like myself so much more! LOL!
I had a session with Veronica yesterday with another tomorrow.
I have had such deep and powerful shifts in my life as a result and I will be eternally grateful to you and Shannon for introducing her me.
These shifts have not just opened me up to men but have also shifted in my son and my people at work. It is true what you all said, I am a magnet now for others and my warmer and friendlier me means others “see” me now!
Thank you again for the intro and for helping in my journey to healing and to be in a position to receive love for the first time in my life.
I am excited for what the future holds and understand there is indeed a lid for every pot, and I accept I may not please everyone always, but those that are attracted by me, will certainly value me for who I am!
My best wishes and keep up the good work for all those singles dating and seeking out there, they really need this professional dating service!
Jennifer-Anne
Perfect PartnersThe truth will set you free, but first it will p*ss you off!! Your match maker wants you to succeed!
Good morning Shannon,
I hope you are doing fantastic
Thank you for another very informative and enjoyable newsletter………and yes, the truth is sometimes hard to swallow but if people are not getting the successful outcomes they expected, then someone has to help them with the HOW, WHAT and WHEN to up their game on a scale of 1 – 10, and we all do need constructive critique at times! [expander_maker id=”1″ more=”Read more” less=”Read less”]
I think members who take your articles “personally” really have to do some soul searching, look at their self-image and they will find that the articles can only assist to look at our hopes and dreams in a very different light… not an easy exercise but certainly necessary, no soul mate is going to drop out the sky … and I know for myself, I have loved your guidance and my dating experiences have hugely improved and still going strong. I am even about to renew my contract as I feel you are ALL SUCH A GREAT SUPPORT SYSTEM AND PART OF MY LIFE!
Please supply me with the lady that does the profile pics again…….. thanks a mil J
Also please look at my profile info and give me some feedback whether I have enough details needed to portray me as a person and someone that are looking for that Mr. Right and a long term fulfilling relationship……so we can give this another twirl. I have been doing corporate doing for some time before joining you, and honestly, there is NOBODY and nothing nearly as expert, kind and caring as you guys – truly professionals match makers.
Us executives dating out there also need assurance we are safe as we have much to lose if we associate with the wrong people who may have nefarious agendas. I have learnt so much as a woman seeking a man, and that means the right man (and you have introduced me to awesome guys for sure, I just was not truly ready) and my whole “defensive attitude” has changed, and I can own it, I was doing it wrong. There are wonderful men out there!
Have a brilliant Monday and wishing you lots of blessings xxxxxx
Kind Regards
Jane
You truly are my soldiers of love!
Hi Shannon
I am so sorry, I have only just read your email. Thank you so much for taking the time to write to me, I truly appreciate it. Firstly, thanks for being such a professional matchmaker! Your personal singles introductions are truly the best!
I have told Allan already and I thought it better to do so as he was really making an effort, texting last night and this morning and he is such a nice man, there honestly was no spark there for me at all and I am so bad at pretending. [expander_maker id=”1″ more=”Read more” less=”Read less”]I also know that he would not have just wanted to be friends 🙂 sadly he is not my perfect partner despite it being an expert match.
I have realised that I dont know what I want or need in a man and maybe I need to figure this out first which is why I have decided to put this on hold for a month or so while I go figure out what it is really want from love and men. I also still seem to hurt too easily 🙂 I thought I was going to be able to “play the field” a bit and find out what I want but feelings are involved and I dont know how to handle that part. I thought dating in this day and age was easy! I may be an executive single lady but I realise how much I need a professional matchmaker NOW TO HELP WITH A DATING GAME PLAN.
I thought I was doing well with John and Allan but truly had no idea that John thought I was only seeing or chatting to him and not settling, we were not even on the same page yet! 🙂 I apologise if I have negatively impacted on PP by telling John myself but perhaps if you just confirm with him what I have told you, he will at least know it is the truth, and you can send him more ideal matches. He asked me, when we were out on our date, what my perfect match would be and I told him that I had no idea.
Maybe when I start again I should look at doing some relationship coaching. I struggle with the grey areas of life and dating definitely is a grey area for me. Amazing how we can get to this age and still be so seemingly incapable of understanding each other or communicating effectively with each other. Dating sites are a waste of time as you do not really know who your perfect match is until too late, singles only social clubs are a bunch of losers! My friends think a guy is awesome – but they haven’t seen him in a romantic context, they are lousy at matchmaking! I truly value your slow and methodical professional singles introductions to screened and profiled guys.
Thank you again Shannon, I am sure you must have your hands full with all of us oh so very mature teenagers! 🙂 🙂
Much love and light to you.
Andrea
xxx
2nd March 2018
Hi dear Andrea,
I meditated on your email and have really so much to encourage you with ……..but the bad news is you will not possibly resolve this vortex you find yourself in if you go off the radar and wait!! You can only learn to ride the horse if you stay in the saddle! Best to start now, at a leisurely pace …….see below….. (and you are not alone, explained hereunder). There is excellent help we can provide in getting you dating executive singles!!
I can share this with you – until my experiences through PP I only realised over 50 what it is all about! Bwahahahahahaha!! I practiced on 3 husbands after all (may they rest in peace) and many flames…..and finally my best ever friend who stood by me while I went through two marriages, came back into my life and taught me how very simple it all is!! it was all about VALUES!! I had the right values like honesty, truthfulness, dedication to what I did, warm and giving blah blah…(maybe tooooo much, maybe I WAS a people pleaser too!)…..but they were hidden under a coat of (shiny) armour hiding a fearful façade ….. from designer clothes to false friends to the high living lifestyle, maybe even vanity and ego!! I was using the wrong things to get approval and find attraction because I thought that was what was needed, comparing myself to “others” who seemed to have it all. No wonder I never found my perfect match! I can write a book!! The quality of my lifestyle has not changed, but my entire value system recognises my abundance now! And I have love….true love! We are a perfect match!
We may never mature, and we may stay teenagers forever, nothing wrong with that angel, because we encourage everyone to keep “their inner child alive” ……..that child could be awed, dazzled, learn new things, had no fear and was not tarnished by life’s disappointments, with naïve belief the world was good, that people are nice to us, that fairness is standard, and love easily found! Then the Hard Knock Café becomes our “space” and we get cynical. Corporate dating is a niche world, despite all the achievements, everyone is still human and vulnerable.
So never lose your inner child – you have something very special and that is why John so over-reacted!! And Allan is really keen!! And I promise, other guys would have loved you for who you are too, given a chance…….if you had your game plan waxed!! J Start fixing at a cellular level! We are your professional matchmakers and will find the best potential!
So many people fret “what is wrong with me, have I lost some heart/brain cells? Will love ever find me?”…where is my soul mate…..and true, they do not know what being loveable is or what they want/need….or how to recognise love when it knocks on the door…….and they end up with a therapist…..and millions of hours and bucks later are often more confused!! (necessary if there is a real psychological pathology….but you are not in this group! You are fabulous! J).
(I don’t know if you read my weekly articles – or were here already yet when I sent out the one on “some people are incapable of love?” …..truly worth reading as it also earmarks co-dependency and narcissistic traits). I can resend!
Just to mention…….it comes as quite a surprise to many single ladies that men are truly capable of adoring, worshipping and loving them unconditionally in this “false truth” decade/era……..especially once they join us!! The mavericks quickly settle in and TRUST then they can invest in a lady they are attracted to again (after their own hard knocks and disappointments)……..then the disappointment, the ladies didn’t know it, the guys are ready to love but the ladies have no idea what they throwing away!
They don’t GET IT! Single society in general lives the farce of instant gratification …..wine/dine me, ravish me then we can all move on (you were not going to stay anyway, so wé!)…or “what is in it for me, now!!”…….with no long-term goal, because life moves too quickly and we live in a throw-away world! (us women are IMPRINTED by the past love-loss, that we are disposable, NO!!!)……let’s take back our power, with hugs and kisses and the feminine goddess we all have within – let her shine! We must have patience and staying power to transformation can happen.
Please know you have NOT let us down …..in fact, you are still an asset on the way to being even a better one! J John respects you even more for being honest …..he gets livid when the above scenario plays out and he is not taken seriously when he was starting to “invest” his gentle heart…….and Allan, same thing (he was very keen), well I will offer a shoulder ….if he needs! Honestly, a bit of ego here if he thought you were falling so quickly……no Allan, much more input needed, but thanks for being so open with your heart! Maybe he learnt something …….you were not one of those to fall into his arms …..yet……J
Love and light as always sweetheart!! Here for you whichever way you choose ……your soldiers of love!
BIG HUGS!!
Fond Regards
Shannon
A very happy member reports!
Hi Shannon,
I want to tell you how much you have changed my life – a new me, better health and even a love interest! I am determined to keep his interest HOT! I know I stand a better chance if I improve my shape too. [expander_maker id=”1″ more=”Read more” less=”Read less”]
Hey, practice what you preach! LOL! Go for it if you need to lose a few kgs, and do your Kata! You encouraged me so awesomely that time of the match… It’s hard and carbs are the worst, but taste the best, I sympathise with you now. If one can stay focused, it takes 3 weeks to break a habit, then it goes better… I’ve kick started karate again, on a mission now to complete and get my 3rd Dan and lost 5kgs already, I feel fantastic. It’s just my favourite sport and doing a Kata is beautiful!
Hope you have a good evening and don’t have to work too late.
Thanks always and always for your encouraging messages. I really and honestly feel so looked after, safe & hopeful – I know you care and you are the best matchmaker around and even a friend now! I know you will always support me too! Dating sites sucked! I will never go there again! Your calibre of professional men is unbelievable – I thought there were none left on the planet!
Fond wishes,
Angel
Perfect PartnersA new member joins Perfect Partners and is very impressed at the process!
Hi Shannon
Many thanks, I am looking forward to the experience, albeit a bit nervous 
You guys have me so comfortable, the interview was very friendly and caring with tons of gentle guidance, and I do not feel alone anymore, knowing I have guys like you behind me, always a friendly call away! It is comforting to know there is a truly professional matchmaker in our country, I am just sorry I took so long to do this!
Regards
Sally
Feb 25, 2018
Hi dear Sally,
Thanks so much for enquiry and lovely profile, and I do believe you and Inge are chatting, so I am just introducing myself! We love your profile – you sound exactly like the kind of lady our professional, stable and yummy bachelors seek (they are also not desperate but love our recruitment and personal introduction process as they also want the best ‘love investment’ for a lasting love story) so you are in good company! On the contrary, our kinda guys are NOT intimidated by independent and strong ladies – this is actually what they seek, as long as they are feminine and not using ‘masculine power’ and are bullies or bossy ……..this info we will be sharing and it is quite an eye opener what truly good guys want! Feminine power is awesome – the very seat of nurturing our species, so they admire this in a lady …….they just do not want to date a ‘buddy’ who competes on their territory like a male.
Enjoy your interaction with Inge …..we are process driven and have been acclaimed as the elite matchmakers in the country, with some 12 years experience and thousands of happy couples on our books (or rather, off our books! LoL). She will explain all the processes, the next steps and look after you well. We take responsibility for all our actions and work with, and for you!
Much love and light,
Fond Regards
Shannon
CEO/Matchmaker/Coach (specialising in the single dyamic at all levels for the individual needs, ‘date ready’ preparation, your hands-on, expert prfilers – always a call away!).
Perfect PartnersThe right moment is now!
Good Morning Shannon
I am sending you the best and biggest virtual hug I can conjure up this morning. Thank you for your most beautiful words, empathy and advice. What a journey you is! I agree, why wait! Having had these few days without male attention again forces me to acknowledge that I do want to love and be loved so hey, I need to find out how to do this again!! I love learning and I am currently doing a life coaching course myself and so I understand you when you say it is about “values” and I have been questioning mine for a while now in an attempt to understand myself better. [expander_maker id=”1″ more=”Read more” less=”Read less”] I realise though that when it comes to relationships I am so confused as to what my values are, especially in this phase of my life! I am going to contact Veronica this morning and get going. Have the most beautiful day.
Much love and light to you
Xxxx
Verona
23rd Feb. 2018
Ahhhh my darling Verona, I have tears in my eyes, dinkum!! A HUGE virtual hug back!!
I so know where you are coming from, been there myself, and there was no help, I was not a basket case that needed a shrink……I had to learn the hard way!! When I became an accredited coach it helped me “arrange” my thoughts and with the help of my colleagues and friends who are also coaches, I quickly caught up and all my experiences in life and love came together….…if only I was only 50 years old now to benefit more from my deepest insights!!
BUT, I believe God and the universe meant for me to be here where I am now, helping my sistas and other women who have gone through these agonising moments!! J It truly is my karmic calling ….hee hee, maybe my “give back” to evolve to a new level for the next life is my purpose, and repair what I messed up in the past life! J I sure as hell want to come back next time much smarter!! LOL!!
Even though a coach myself, I find I definitely need neutral help from experts like Veronica and Katie, one cannot be the chef and the gourmet diner! I have alerted Veronica you will be calling – you will love her too!
Veronica would love to hear from you – ……….jump to it soonest, you can truly find what you seek when you know YOU better, and what you really want! You are so lovely, and it is not for nothing you are so popular!! Men crave to meet women like you …….I will expand on this in my newsletter!
I am hugely relieved, because we all know “waiting until later” is procrastination……which is fear of failing!! If you were shallow and plastic, I would have just bowed to your choices, and waited then. LOVE YOU!!
I am so inspired I think my newsletter today will be about this finding love thing, dedicated to you (no mention of names), from a different perspective, not an article, but more a question and answer session – with a situation similar to yours!
Tons of love and light for a Fabulous Friday!!
xxxxxx
Fond Regards
Shannon
Perfect PartnersVery happy with coaching service! Thanks Veronica!
Hi Veronica
Thank you for our session yesterday. You have affirmed that I am on the right track to look for my own special friend and hopefully to find love again. I feel more confident about presenting the best of me (photo shoot today!) and actively looking out for potential partners, even among the friends I have had for years or the men I come into contact with through work, though I do of course hope that Perfect Partners will find “the one”! My experience so far has been great – your whole team of matchmakers has made a big difference to my views on the business of find love again. [expander_maker id=”1″ more=”Read more” less=”Read less”]You do a wonderful job and must help so many people. Very special. I now realise this takes a dating strategy and is not a hit-and-miss, even though you are my matchmakers, I need to check out every “potential” that crosses my path – I have been hiding for too long! It is true I need to let “others” know I am available and not wait in my ivory tower. Many thanks, Catherine
Perfect PartnersWelcome to a very special bachelor!
THANKS FOR RESTORING MY BELIEF – I AM READY TO FIND LOVE AGAIN!
Hi dear Shannon and Inge,
Thank you so much for the sensitive way in which you have dealt with me over the past ten days and your dedication and patience – I was very nervous and sceptical and almost ready to give up on ever finding a genuine lady who just wants a guy to love her and give her everything he can and who can appreciate love as a divine gift, such a simple and natural necessity in our existence – for what else is the purpose of working so hard and being a better person when you have nobody to share it with? I have been so let down recently, finding ladies only see the material things and are so uncaring and selfish, I am not a robot but a very warm hearted guy. [expander_maker id=”1″ more=”Read more” less=”Read less”] I am highly respected at the highest level in my career, but overlooked as a just a man seeking a partner. I feel like something is wrong with ME! You have restored my confidence and now realise I have been looking in the wrong places and too eager to please making me look needy (now understand I am allowed my boundaries too, life is a two-way street afterall) so am joining now as a Diamond Member because I believe investing in your services means in return you will invest in me, and so far you have done more for me than anyone else on a personal level in years! I do feel very safe and now looking forward to my new adventure in the world of dating! You guys are tuly professional matchmakers with plenty of heart!
Fond regards Allan
06 Feb. 2018
Hi there dear Allan, thank you so much for the time spent chatting to Inge – you have made a really good impression and you really touched her heart and mine – we hear this often from really successful singles and it is a sad fact you guys become a target for other’s evil agendas and often are exploited and used, so we truly understand!! We understand that many ladies too are disillusioned and think men in general are shallow, and this perpetuates the cycle of living without real meaning – and yes, what is life/achievement without sharing with someone who cares? Precisely why we are here!! We provide both a safe and friendly environment of likeminded singles with the same needs, dreams and views of a happy life shred with an adored and adoring partner. Even though us gals are empowered now (strong and independent) there is nothing like a fabulous strong arm to lean on through all life’s ups and downs. I have attached your invoice as requested, and look forward to bringing you into “the family” soonest and welcoming you on board! I would also love to make your acquaintance as we will be working closely on your strategy, and getting you prepared for your new adventure!! I have a few very workable ideas already! Can I call you this afternoon? Always in love and light then until later,
Fond Regards Shannon
Perfect PartnersThe busy-busy syndrom, FOMO, being too busy can be an excuse – you need to make time for yourself if you are dating!
Awesome dear Nic, coming from you we are very flattered you found this hitting the spot!! Thanks for reading our article on what men are really seeking, we do wish more ladies would take heed – we do know how busy you are so thanks for reading!! I also see you comment often how busy you are – it seems time does not favour you often (also the flurry with Vivienne on time keeping) and it does make me think and wonder to ask, do you put your foot down and draw your line in the sand when people are time vampires? [expander_maker id=”1″ more=”Read more” less=”Read less”]
Do you always wish to help and be there for them, at your own expense – because angel, you also need your sacred space in time! I recognise this trait in myself and force myself every day to try and say “later” …or “as soon as I can but not until…”..and prioritise or delegate, and actually, the world didn’t end if I attend first thing the next day or when needed!! I am driven to get it all done TODAY, NOW, this minute …….but actually, does it really make a difference? “Busy-ness” can also be a subconscious foil for fear of being forgotten, left out, missing out (FOMO), or appearing slack ….then we get lost in time and look disorganised…hee hee, so which is the best option? I do agree though if a rugby match is running over time, no WAY can you not watch the final minutes!! LOL!! a lady should forgive a man this transgression!! (But then is she runs late, it works both ways!) We have activated your latest date …..please do not call at “inappropriate” hour, like after 8pm, unless you text and explain you in a meeting whatever, and they happy with it!! also try to meet soonest …….long drawn out texts over more than a week get under a lady’s skin and you start falling from grace! J We understand not easy when you are a busy professional, but every positive move helps ..the sooner the better!!
Fond Regards Shannon
[/expander_maker] Perfect PartnersThank you! My life is transforming
Dear Shannon,
Thank you very much for the extended session this morning. I am so more confident now with meeting great worthy bachelors and I know I am worth a great catch! I am able now to keep an open mind, as my quotation says, and up for all challenges in the language of love. [expander_maker id=”1″ more=”Read more” less=”Read less”]
It was hugely insightful. You are an incredible date coach, you get to the point in the kindest way and our profiling is spot on – I trust you as my matchmaker with all my heart! I realise I have made many bad choices because I was attracted to the ‘wrong elements’, but I now have more depth.
I look forward to learning to put some of your suggestions and ideas into practice and working at it.
It is really great to have someone so committed, straight forward and honest to work beside me.
I know you will call me when you need to but more importantly guide and support me to develop my confidence and my tactics
Thank you for your incredible dedication.
With gratitude
Candy
Single and alone? It is never too late to start again!
Hi dear Wanda,
Ahhhhh, how I got immediate insight to your situation!! All my experience, insights and instincts just went “boom” into place! I just so understand your situation! I have been there! In fact after a divorce I remarried and then was widowed, so starting over twice has been one of my personal strengths! I wish I had a personal matchmaker back then to ‘recruit’ for me! [expander_maker id=”1″ more=”Read more” less=”Read less”]
When I retired from the corporate world in all things ‘human sciences’ I decided to start Perfect Partners with the goal, mainly, of helping others to start over by offering a professional matchmaking service with a human touch – a voice people can talk to. We are unlike any other dating site! I had experienced both times quite a shift in my social scene (my married friends seemed to disappear or were scarce) as I started out – my lifestyle was different and getting into a world of Singles was quite hairy! I had no shortage of suitors but felt very vulnerable! A sensitive matchmaking service to look out for me would have been very welcome! Some of them were quite an experience. I do enjoy my own time and company, but I realised I had to find my niche in this new world ……which I successfully did (I tried a few so-called elite single dating sites but it was awful) and now can happily profess that I am in a very wonderful relationship with a guy who is also my best friend! We still respect each other’s space and maintain our individuality (in fact we are chalk and cheese as he is quite the pedantic analyst and realist, while I am more the academic romantic) and we balance each other out, always interesting and never a dull moment as we approach things from different viewpoints but manage to come to the same outcomes!
I do recommend a no-obligation chat on how personal matchmaking works – we can explain that this new adventure is one of purely networking with a chosen (you get to choose from our prospects who have been relatively well screened as stable, healthy (mind, body and soul) and committed (no baggage, sad sacks or players or perverts) and normal selection of great guys – you are only making friends and opening new doors to possibilities! You only start ‘dating’ once there is mutual attraction).
Love will find you when the time is right and it is never predictable! I can see you are not needy, co-dependent or desperate (sorry, but these descriptors fit most singles out there, hence we are so careful who we sign up but we also help those that need our ‘date coaching’ to get passed these issues so they can confidently enjoy our matchmaking service) so making new friends just means a nice new dimension to your current life……at your pace and in your own time! Everyone who wants to try this matchmaking exercise seems to start with the final outcome in mind, envisioning (in panic) a sudden committed relationship with a new person invading your space, virtually a faceless stranger! LoL! That is flipping scary! Nope, it does not happen this way ….it is a slow process of just getting comfortable and can be hugely rewarding as it is such a gift to mix and mingle with new friends!
The norm is to receive one or too good matches a month, maybe even more depending on your own pace, so that you can spend time getting to know each other slowly. (All our protocols and strategies are in place after our brief ‘induction’ to settle you with your own plans). This is NOT like internet when you get a barrage of hundreds of hits from men clamouring and knocking you over! It is tasteful, selective and respectful……and fun! You would get a concise CV and current pics by email of every proposed intro, so you can ‘yay or nay’ right from your laptop, before even leaving your front door! We find that if two proposed intros both like each other’s profile and ask to meet, there is already a good spark of interest – so it is very comfortable. And yes, it gives a nervous zing and some butterflies, but that is what being alive is all about! (These profiles are anonymous enough that no guy could ever find you or know who you are directly! So you safe to just decline any intros!).
Soooooo, on this lovely cooler morning, here is a long read, but I feel it is my karmic duty to advise and try to assist! A brief orientation chat will explain more, then we can book the no-obligation telephone interview …….it highlights many subconscious thoughts (sifting the throw away ones and keeping the positives) and is quite self-determining – then you know for sure if you ready or not! I have a psychology background and specialise in the single dynamic, so we look carefully at everything.
I know you may still be grieving, but life goes one and transformation is a slow process, grief becomes good memories despite maybe a few hard knocks before, and new adventures and new friends are a pleasure! I do not know your age, but I am now in my sixties so I can assure you – I live a very full and rewarding life and I have the wisdom and luxury to choose what my priorities in life are! BLACH!!
I would to chat – please just give me a day/evening and time to call ……I predict we would have an interesting chat anyway!
Much love and light,
Fond Regards
Shannon
Jan 30, 2018
Hello Shannon,
Thanks for your mail and your concern.
I did receive your mail regarding costs, thank you for that. You are definitely very professional matchmakers as I have spoken to others and they are not nearly as caring as you!
I am just not sure right now about this whole dating thing. Although I am lonely at times, it has only been 17 months since my husband died and I am still toiling with the idea of meeting other men socially. I work with them all the time in business and don’t have a problem with that.
Will keep in touch.
Regards
Wanda
Advice required…..hmmmm, maybe …?????
Sent: 16 October 2017 10:28 PM
To: Perfect Partners Inc
Subject: Advice required…..hmmmm, maybe …?????
Thank you so much for the advice, it really has helped. He is private but has started sharing more with me, especially more personal things. As mentioned, he does spend most of his time with me and truly cares and is there for me and pays attention….so far a perfect match! [expander_maker id=”1″ more=”Read more” less=”Read less”] He has told me what his issues are and what he is dealing with which is a good sign I think and I’m pretty sure there are no secret wives haha For me there definitely is a deeper connection and so I think I’m going to hang on a little longer and see what happens.
Regards LM
Oct 17, 2017
Thanks dear lovely LM, we are so pleased to hear that then, finding love again is never easy – please give it your best and see where it goes!! SB is a very sincere guy and maybe not complicated, just internalises things and often this is just being cautious, which comes over to some as “closed” of even aloof! Still a great match! These personality types may ‘overthink’ some things, but the good thing is they are not reckless or unpredictable!! And one thing for sure, our dear SB has a high moral compass!! This means he really needs to trust as well ………so even if you think things are trivial, just share casually (not sounding like you need the male left brain “Mr. Fixit” which throws men into a panic if they don’t know the why or how!) so that he knows your thoughts and feelings …..share things that make you happy, and things that upset, tell him you just sharing an experience you had…..so that his barometer of where you are at is accurate! It sounds really great then dear LM, please keep us posted, and we wish you all of the best in your next dating experience! ……and something that always works is have FUN!! Men in general are not very inventive (and secretly like that their ladies come up with ideas, of course, as a mutual decision) or creative about fun things (they even think some things are frivolous) but bring that ray of light, humour and just enjoyment to your lives……..and sharing a laugh is the best medicine for everything! I predict you are more extrovert while he is more introvert (not lacking courage or confidence, but because of his cautious nature) and that is a great recipe for success!! Go for it! xxxx
Fond Regards Shannon
[/expander_maker] Perfect PartnersHappily married since 2011!
Hi Shannon I hope you and the Team are doing well and still doing a fine job with all the singles dating out there! It’s been 6 years and counting…since you introduced me to WB. I wonder if you remember…we met in 2010 and got married in 2011. We’ve been happily married ever since and we are very content and very much still in love! [expander_maker id=”1″ more=”Read more” less=”Read less”]
I remember how nervous and scared I was but thanks to your excellent professional matchmaking and guidance, it was so easy and natural, thanks goodness I never risked any dating sites! We are such a perfect match! It felt like you introduced me to one of your friends, and all very natural. We were part of your interracial dating service and fitted together so well. I would like to surprise W on our 6th year wedding anniversary 24 September 2017. I was wondering if you could send me a copy of both our profiles so that I can frame it as a gift. I really hope this is possible, as I know you regard all your clients personal information as highly confidential, he will be so delighted. We met November 2010 and married 24 September 2011. I highly recommend your matchmaking service to all my single friends and am proud to have been part of your exclusive network! Keep up the good work and we send all our blessings to all the singles out there seeking true love – everything is possible if you do it right.
Fond regards, GB
[/expander_maker] Perfect PartnersI find myself wanting to write to you, firstly to share my story and secondly to say an enormous thank you!!
Dear Perfect Partners I find myself wanting to write to you, firstly to share my story and secondly to say an enormous thank you!! Not necessarily in that order… I came across PP by default……… After the ending of a twenty year marriage, I spent ten years completely on my own. Well, that is not entirely true… I had the most incredible time with my children. We were and will always be the most fantastic team. [expander_maker id=”1″ more=”Read more” less=”Read less”] They, in fact, are the very best part of me and my life………………………………… forever and always. Yet, I found myself, from time to time, wondering what it would be like to meet someone and more importantly, if I would ever be blessed enough to fall in love again……. During the time on my own, I spent many, many hours thinking and reflecting and, yes, even acknowledging my part in the breakdown of what I thought would be my forever… Much introspection was accomplished. During that time, Match VIP, crossed my path, but although I met with Bonita, I never followed through. There is much to be said for being in the right space. During 2016, totally unexpectedly, someone came into my life. He was kind but extremely controlling, and I was to find out in a really hard and painful way that I had become involved with a true Narcissist. It shook me and I had some harsh realizations to work through… The hardest thing being that I was prepared to accept the way he treated me, rather than be on my own. It took a monumental effort to pick up the pieces of my life, again, and walk away. Round about the April of 2017 I decided that I had to move on and that I dearly wanted to have someone in my life that I could love… I tried to contact Bonita again – she put me in touch with PP. My story begins… It was very daunting for me…. Photographs, putting into words who and what I was about… not easy …. Alma was wonderful, and she has remained there to listen and guide and be my voice of reason when I was wobbling… I have met five incredibly amazing and awesome men through PP! You are perfectly honest about the great caliber of your fine bachelors! I never thought it possible after my own bad experiences trying it on my own. Each one a true legend in their own way…….. I am putting in names just because they are so worthy of being mentioned and not just a nameless coffee encounter… XXXXXX – a true gentleman…..this is where my confidence started growing! XXXXXXX …… Well, wish it was easier to put feelings into words and have the same effect! He is charming, funny, considerate and an amazing person to be with… He actually knocked my socks off… XXXXXX….. He has a voice that can melt an iceberg… I spent so many wonderful hours and days with him. He made me feel desirable and taught me that at 51, I could still give myself completely on an intimate level… He gave me confidence and belief in myself…………………………………………. XXXXX……………. I love his passion for his fluffy pawed kids. He is full of humour and charm. Would have loved getting to know him better… Finally and the best of all…. XXXXXX…… He has changed my life and my world… He makes me feel like no one else exists when we are together….. It is like time stops. He treats me with love and respect and I am so looking forward to our journey together…… He tells me how beautiful I am… How warm and gentle, soft and fluffy and perfect I am, too. Mostly, I just think he needs his eyes tested!! HaHa… His children are gorgeous and my children just want the best for me… We chat for hours and no matter my fears ( I tend to be a worrier ) he calms them …. He is so even tempered and treats people with respect … When I think of him I see a man of integrity. A family man who will always treat me like a princess….. He spoils me and remembers my favourite things …. even though I may only have briefly mentioned them… He loves that I believe in fairy tales and everything pink, fluffy and sparkly…. I want to make him happy…. I want him to know I will honour him and that he is my knight… that I will always have his back and that he can trust me… Shannon – thank u!! Thank you for the enormous amount of hours and care you put into helping us find our perfect partner…. Thank you for the hours you put into your weekly” words of wisdom…” I have learnt much… Your team are just the best! Alma – the very very best!! Thank you for being there and mailing me when I was falling apart over XXXXXXX… If you speak to him at any time, please tell him I thought he was not just the bees knees- but the whole jolly bee!! And that whenever I listen to Johnny Clegg, I can’t help but think of him and smile, hugely…… I have grown so much since joining PP- I ACTUALLY OWE YOU MORE THAN JUST A THANK YOU… I owe a bright, shiny and happy future to us all… I hope with all my heart that I will never need PP again- but I will stay in touch – your work is done!! Sending loads of pink fluffy love Your pink fluffy lady! XXXXXX
Sep 30, 2017
Hi dear S, What a fabulous email, and you really brought tears to our eyes!! We are so thrilled you found your perfect match and it sure does look for a lifetime journey of great happiness!! We must praise you too – you are a fabulous lady, you have looked after yourself (and do not knock yourself for being 51, you have kept up your good looks and figure and attitude) and in totally honesty, the MOST important thing is your gentle nature and humble ways, even though a highly educated and intelligent lady, you have never been self-important, conceited, opinionated – and never undersell yourself, you may be “pink and fluffy” because you are a gentle natured person and believe in love and moonbeams still, but you are no fool! The fact is you are every guy’s dream because you are just NORMAL and very special, without making any statements or demands. You are also aware of your shortcomings (we all have them angel!), which were quickly sorted through your willingness to accept our guidance!! We know you have truly found a most awesome and fabulous guy, and you will always be his queen! Thanks again for sharing, and we have blogged your story to inspire others seeking the real deal, to find love, and maybe use the services of a professional matchmaker who cares! And yes, it was nerve wracking getting through the interviews (the perfect way to really discover yourself too!) and getting good photos, but nothing in life is worth having unless you work for it! We love you lots and will always remember our lady who still believes in magic and fairy tales,
Fond Regards always, Shannon and Inge and Alma
[/expander_maker] Perfect PartnersA very excited Perfect Partner
Dear Shannon, I was invited by Pieter to visit him on his farm yesterday. This gave me a picture of the real Pieter, he has a lovely home and made a fabulous braai. We had a swim and spent quality time talking. He is so gentle and strong in the same sense and I felt safe. I can see a life together but still early days. [expander_maker id=”1″ more=”Read more” less=”Read less”] We are both cautiously optimistic. And I am showing it – had to take a sleeping tablet last night to get some sleep I was so excited (I feel my life has started over, which just goes to show, you are so right, we must never give up on ourselves – I thought there were no good men left). He is more than what I have prayed about. He will also phone you if he has not yet as he also does not want to meet any more ladies.
From a very excited Perfect Partner, Katrina
[/expander_maker] Perfect PartnersDoes he really love you? or is he manipulating you?
ARE YOU BEING MANIPULATED??
Dear Shannon & team What a wonderful article, I have already shared it with my daughters, both young adults embarking on their life’s journey. In the throes of young and exciting love one can so easily miss these signs and end up in a difficult relationship and this advice is really worth reading. A lesson I learned the hard way many years ago and a reminder never goes amiss. [expander_maker id=”1″ more=”Read more” less=”Read less”] I am very much enjoying all the articles you send. I am so pleased I joined you guys as I am learning new stuff every day and very confident love is around the corner now for me!
Thanks for sharing Best wishes TC
DOES HE REALLY LOVE YOU? OR IS HE MANIPULATING YOU? (Guys, you can read “she” for every “he” because it works both ways!)
Happy Friday again to all our awesome members and we hope the full moon brought fresh starts for you all! It also brings “endings” so this is always sad, but letting go makes space for new things to start! When we weigh our scales of needs and wants, often something has to go to make room for something new, in order to keep balance in our lives. If it is a relationship where you seem to give more than receive, a career you don’t really enjoy, or a situation you have tolerated just too long, it is a good time to review. For some it may be an old “look” or image/style they hang on to…..well, take a long hard look in the mirror and ask yourself “can I improve myself with a “a new me?” as we do get stale! You’re personal branding in these daysis important! In fact a new outfit has hit the headlines “Revenge Makeover SA” (teeth are a must do if not looking so good anymore!) and you can Google and see what amazing things people are doing to fight back, regain their youth, good looks and become more confident! (Not only the ladies, but also the men! Us gals love a stylish and neat man in nice clothes and smelling good!).
Having the smarts and a charming personality helps, but all people are visual, more so the male species, a scientific fact!! But please do not feel inferior if you are not a Poster Pin-Up, everyone has their “imprinted” version of what pleases their eyes and what they find attractive – one person’s frog is another’s prince/princess, and even the most homely people may attract – but still do the best you can. Every pot has a lid! Even a bent lid may do! LOL! Even so, unless you are God’s gift in every way, be reasonable on what you can expect to attract – even Stevens all round, as the Afrikaans saying goes “soort soek soort” – that works best! Today’s article is shared with compliments of Your Tango about manipulation, with a little input from me in red!! From outright narcissism to selfishness or people with their own agendas, there are many signs that will warn you if you know what they are! Much love and light then until next time and have a great weekend,
Fond Regards Shannon
Don’t stay in a relationship with someone who ever says any of these to you.
- “You’re being overly emotional.”
When you’re in a relationship, you should be able to freely express how you feel about a situation as the expectation is the other actually cares. Even if it is trivial, or if it is upsetting you, it’s important that you are able to share this concern with your partner and get some reassurance. Shannon: BUT, it is how you share ….not whinge and whine, but explain gently what would make you happy or improve things! Make it short and logical, not take the other on a trip around the world getting there! But toxic partners are unable to handle the fact that they have caused you to be upset and instead of accepting that and fixing it, they will blame you and your “issues.” It isn’t overly-emotional to be upset when they do something dumb like flirting with others if you have told them makes you feel uncomfortable and it isn’t overly emotional to get angry when they can’t understand why you feel that way, especially when you try to talk to them calmly about it. Shannon: beware defensive reactions! Or excuses!
- “Your feelings aren’t valid.”
Some partners won’t openly say this, instead they will use phrases like, “you shouldn’t be so upset about it” or “it isn’t a big deal”. But it is a big deal and you are allowed to be upset about it. You see, by taking away your feelings, it removes any guilt on their part which allows them to continue being an ass and not consider how their actions will affect you. The main things toxic partners want is to be in control and get away with treating you badly so by saying you shouldn’t feel the way you do, or dismissing your views and feelings, relieves them of feeling guilty for it. But no one can be mad at you for feeling a certain way; no one can take your feelings away from you.
- “I didn’t say that.”
Toxic partners spin webs. They will say one thing during an argument or when trying get out of something and then will go back on it later when you call them out on it. They will claim they never said that, you heard it wrong. You obviously weren’t listening. You imagined it. Again, it’s about control. Unless you record a conversation or argument, it’s their word against yours and they’re adamant you are wrong.You will question yourself, you will wonder if they didn’t say that at all. It’s another way for you to lose your foundation during an argument because you’re so busy trying to work out if they’re right. If they claim they didn’t say it, you have no leg to stand on. You start to question your own sanity!
- “I can’t do anything right.”
Playing the victim means you will feel sorry for them and go to their rescue, suddenly, you don’t want to fight anymore. You will realize you were being unreasonable and apologize for trying to start an argument. Shannon: but there is a breaking point when it plays out too often, and resentment will turn you into a shriveled mess! The worst narcissists can go back to their childhood if necessary to explain why they are so hard done by, blame their families, upbringing and ex’es …..it means they are not only bad problem solvers, they feel the world must forgive them and allow them to bahave like toddlers (see our article on ADULTS BEHAVING LIKE TODDLERS) because a toddler does not problem solving capacity – throwing a tantrum works! Usually when the toxic partner feelings backed into a corner when they know they have done wrong, they will play the sympathy card. They don’t have many friends in town these days so they had to hang out with their ex. That person they talking to on line was a set up by someone playing a joke on you. They didn’t mean to hide their phone or accidently deleted all the stuff there! They talk to others outside of your earshot! They were just being friendly by talking to their co-worker until 3am without telling you because they’re a nice person. Why don’t you want your boyfriend to be a nice person? They are just trying to have interests outside of your relationship because they don’t want to smother you. Why can’t you see that? Why can’t you see they all good fellas?
- “You never trust me.”
Sure, they only cheated on you once. Sure, you only found texts to other girls a couple of times but they’ve been ‘good’ recently. They’ve remained loyal so why when they act shady, do you not believe them? Not feeling able to trust someone after they have constantly broken that trust is only natural. And expecting you to immediately trust them again is unfair. Rebuilding trust takes time. But by them blaming you for having trust issues (which they caused) means it becomes about you and your issues and insecurities rather than the fact they weren’t able to be a decent boyfriend. Suddenly the argument becomes about your lack of trust, your insecurities, your doubts and not what they have done.
- “But you did this.”
They may have been Facebook messaging that girl you said you don’t like, but last year you had a text from your ex you didn’t respond to or you or you told a white lie about something which ultimately wouldn’t have impacted your relationship, but you were open about it, so what cooks here?. But if you’re not perfect either then why are you having a go at them? You are to blame! You have made mistakes too so it doesn’t matter that they lied to you about that night out with the lads or whose number that really was that kept calling late at night. It’s the blame game. Nothing gets solved because they are too preoccupied with scoring points, even if it means making up situations.
- “You’re the most anxious person I have ever dated.”
Loving guys do not compare you to their exes. Especially negatively. Especially during an argument. Especially over something you are already worried about. If they decide to tell you that you are the most anxious or paranoid or insecure person they have dated, get out of there. If someone loves you, they lift you up and support you. They love you, anxieties and insecurities included. They honour you!
- “I didn’t lie; I told you when you asked me.”
There is a huge difference between someone choosing to tell you something and you having to pry it out of them. Sure, they eventually told you but it doesn’t count if you had to repeatedly ask them. However, when you get mad they can claim ‘but I told you about it’ and they cannot seem to understand that them not openly telling you in the first place means they wanted to conceal it. Lying is withholding the truth and choosing not to tell you about something until you pretty much beat it out of them is a lie. Sorry.
- “I’m going to sleep.”
I don’t know anyone who likes going to sleep on an argument. But if a guy can roll over and go to sleep when you are crying or angry, he does not give a shit about you. It’s another way he gets to control the situation, he gets to let you stew over it for hours and not get any sleep and then he will expect you to carry on as normal the next day when nothing has been resolved. It doesn’t matter how long it takes, if he cares he should want you to be able to sleep and to feel reassured and cared for and have whatever it is talked through. If he can easily fall asleep when you’re hurting, he’s not a good guy or worth a sleepless night. Shannon: my mother always told me “never go to sleep without resolving your issues with your loved ones” and it good advice! Even if you agree to disagree, make friends and love each other, you can discuss it calmly tomorrow, but punishing body language is cruel.
- “I’m not willing to be in a relationship with someone who ____.”
A loving relationship does not have ultimatums. It doesn’t matter how heated an argument gets, he should not result to telling you if you don’t change, he will break up with you. It’s his way of making you believe that everything that is wrong about the relationship is your fault and that you are the only one who needs to change your behaviour. The likelihood is, he’s projecting his own downfalls on to you because it’s too hard for him to see flaws within himself. If he gives you an ultimatum, walk away.
Perfect PartnersI think that you are placed into peoples lives for a reason
My dear Shannon, I think that you are placed into peoples lives for a reason. Sometimes I wonder how I got so lucky and what I have done to deserve a friend like you. People have come and gone out of my life, but for some reason you never left. Your friendship is one of the greatest gifts I have ever received. You always have time, you always care. [expander_maker id=”1″ more=”Read more” less=”Read less”] I could write a book about the positive affect you have had on my life. Your heart is of the purest that I have ever known and I felt your spirit the second I met you. Your energy and smile radiates and love and compassion that you show for others is special. I am so grateful to be affected and influenced by you. I hope that one day I can be half of the person that you are. You believed in me when I didn’t believe in myself. You loved me when I was hard to love. You listened to me when I didn’t have a voice and let me cry when I was broken. But most importantly, you never give up on me. That is special. You know me to my core. You know what makes me smile and what ticks me off. You can tell in an instant when I am upset and then continue to do everything in your power to make me feel better. If I am going through something, you are the first person to text me to make sure I am okay. When my confidence lags, you reassure me of myself. I have never had a bad moment with you. You fill my life with an immense amount of happiness and love. I know that wherever life takes us, you will be part of my life. If we don’t talk for some time, we pick up right where we left off. Whenever I need you, I know you will always be there. You are the epitome of a beautiful human being. I hope that every person in this world has someone like you in their lives. Shannon, you are the best!
Fond regards BJ
Perfect PartnersA very happy member – finding her feet!
My dearest Shannon, I truly appreciate your comforting reply and the time you dedicated to me. Thanks so much for explaining so many things I never thought important – dating is not easy but you have made it such a friendly, safe and pleasurable experience!! I am enjoying meeting your truly eligible bachelors, guys who would NEVER have crossed my path in a lifetime if it was not for you!! [expander_maker id=”1″ more=”Read more” less=”Read less”] I love being sociable again and do not feel invisible and that my life is just a boring treadmill (and no more wasting time online dating) and I know now love will find me when the time is right! Your insight and understanding make me feel I am in good hands. You are very honest and I believe what you say, change the person and the circumstances will change! I am sure you have a very challenging job, but you handle it extremely well. I cannot imagine how you take care of every culture, religion, personality types and age groups, and you certainly have a gift. You do sell “people to people” and not one person is the same ……there surely is no other industry with so much diversity and individual needs! Thank you for your kind words.
Fond regards AK
Jul 19, 2017
You rock!! you really are special dearest AK, and we are loving working with and for you!! There are never any problems, only solutions …….and yes, sometimes I have to say it like it is and it makes my heart cringe as the last thing I ever want is being perceived as uncaring …..I do care HUGELY, and just a little intervention can make so many positive and wonderful things happen!! J I know as a coach my job is to make people feel safe and confident, but I can never play “emperor with no clothes” as telling people things to make them feel better that are not true, is deceiving them and an insult to their intelligence! Only when facing the truth can personal growth happen. I rather be dumped on – my shoulders are broad! LOL! Your wisdom and high EQ is impressive and I am humbled and appreciative you understand! Trust your matchmaker angel – we see the WHOLE bigger picture of every member, as every individual is a friend to us and we often can see potential others may not see – it is impossible to explain in words our instinct, residual knowledge, perceptions and GUT feel sometimes! You are going to find someone awesome – your energy is ‘clear’ and simple and you do not complicate things, you will be fine in this difficult matter of finding a lifetime investment of the heart! So much heartache and sorrow we see here daily – people seeking expert help eventually after making too many mistakes, and bad choices leading to huge trauma in their lives!! A reckless moment can lead to years of troubles!! So our motto is “prevention is better than cure!” …….we see many folk choose to meet based purely on looks and the chemistry rush……oh dear, then they only find out later they do not even really like the person …….after investing huge life force, time and heart quotient. I am glad you are meeting two of our most eligible bachelors ……we are always at your side! xxxxx
Fond Regards Shannon
Perfect PartnersA very happy couple!
Dear Shannon / Inge & Team I would like to express my sincere thanks and gratitude for activating a match between me and a finely selected “PERFECT PARTNER.” After much hesitation, trepidation, deliberation, and a few prompts and prods from your team asking me to please act upon the profile you sent me, and to respond to your emails, I decided to proceed. [expander_maker id=”1″ more=”Read more” less=”Read less”] We started off with telephonic conversations which would often span hours on end, well after midnight…..this continued for about a month ….before we decided to meet. Needless to say, as confident as I usually am, I was VERY nervous that day, kept wondering how to get through the first few minutes !!!! Well the first thing he showed me when I elegantly arrived, was a picture on his phone of what looked like a tortured specimen of some sort of alien……eerrr,mmmm , .which actually turned out to be his cat soaked in soap suds taking a bath, looking horrendously cute. That broke the ice I suppose, as I chuckled at how nervous we both were that we needed a sopping wet cat to come to photographic rescue ! We had a cocktail together and then proceeded to enjoy a fine meal. I was my normal self, confident yet maintaining my humility, no pretentiousness and made him feel relaxed and comfy. The content of our conversations were and still are varied, intelligent, current, interesting and encapsulated with respect and tolerance for each other’s views. The past is gone and never even worth a mention! Our future is full of “what next!?”.
Our ability to communicate seamlessly with such like-mindedness kept enticing us to keep the communication channels alive. I being an ambivert and he an introvert, has worked out perfectly, as we are both happy in ourselves and compliment and respect our unique qualities whilst celebrating the many things we enjoy in common. We have been together for the past 6 months and it has been nothing less than pure joy and a tantalising delight to the senses, to be in a relationship with a man who is so well grounded, mature, caring, gorgeous, someone who has crept into the crevices of my heart, has me smitten and I can confidently inform you that I have fallen in love with him. We have both been open about our mutual feelings for each other and the visible attraction and chemistry that exists between us. ( He also appreciates my petite little frame and that was one of the attracting factors for him. ) Not a day day goes by without us being in contact, whether it is a quick sms, or a little heartfelt emoji , a telephone call in between breaks or an endearing whatsapp ” thinking of my XXXXX” and my response ” I miss you my XXX” , the emotions that every interaction stirrs up is a feeling that I wish every one of your perfect partners could experience as much as we are. Thank you very much for such a perfect match. I truly love my new man ! We could not have done this without your deep caring help when needed and encouragement to fly and be brave! Also, to always be positive, because we attract what we put out …….my manifestations came true! Attached is a happy picture of us ! Keep up the good work and wishing you many more happy success stories such as ours.
With a heart full of gratitude DA
Jul 13, 2017
Hi again dear angel ….I know we have texted but I wanted to also email and say I am beyond thrilled and pleased for both of you, two people who are very precious to us, never complained and never bugged us, trusting and just waiting and knowing we would find you that ONE perfect match through a process of elimination and some trials……the LAST, hopefully for a lifetime!! You are both very beautiful people in and out!! Patience and belief in us paid off!! You make a stunning couple and your energy is palpable ….gorgeous photo…..we can see you are totally smitten with each other!! I must compliment you too – XXXX was never pretentious at all, but he always knew what he wanted and he never compromised, so well done on nabbing one of our most eligible Platinum bachelors ever!! We are very proud! And yes indeed, your taking care of your petite little frame and staying always naturally healthy and gorgeous won the day ……and your ladylike humility and fine mind had him at “hello”…the door was open to getting deeper into the soul. Please keep in touch!! Always in love and light, love to you both…..
Fond Regards Shannon
Perfect PartnersThe Irrational Fear of Being Alone
Hi Shannon, Inge and the PP Team,
Thank you thank you for this great read!!!!. Made my morning. I have only been a member for a few weeks and already I feel substance in being a member as you have held my hand over the first steps with warmth and compassion and I don’t feel like a “dating desperado” but a woman worthy of finding the right match, with a dignified recruiting service. [expander_maker id=”1″ more=”Read more” less=”Read less”] You always communicate and leave nothing to chance. You sure do get me and my needs too! I can truly see why you are rated the most professionals agency in the country, working with professionals …… I just had to share my take on the article. It feels like the writer was speaking to me- she articulated feelings like I would have expressed them on the journey to finding oneself. I was mortified of being alone after a 8 year relationship. But after almost 2 years of being alone, am liberated, peaceful and in the right mental space to welcome love and sunshine in my life. I know myself better and no longer feel that my identity is tied to another individual. I wish more people could have the courage to walk away from a relationship that doesn’t grow them. Fear is the strongest emotion of all in my humble opinion. It crippled me for 8 years. I’m truly happy to be with the PP family and pleased with the “soul food” you’re dishing to nourish us. Have a fabulous weekend Warmly Carol
Hi Carol THE IRRATIONAL FEAR OF BEING ALONE – RESEARCHED FOR YOU THIS WEEK! …a longish read but very good, even for the fundis! (We see clearly that members who read our stuff succeed far quicker than those who don’t! information is power!). …..nobody need ever be alone ……we are doing something about it! even if you are in a relationship, learn to avoid the cracks…… Happy Friday to all our esteemed perfect partners – old and new, and many old members have returned and many newbies are settling in, it promises action for all!! Finally we have some normal weeks ahead, and hope you also have some ‘me time’ for your own needs, remember, balance is key to a healthy and long life! we wish all our new happy couples a loving and thrilling new future – together forever! Many of our members are finding personal sessions with Bonita, Veronica and Thinus have helped tremendously!! Work on the “inner” with our coach ladies, and get the “outer” you have always wished for with Thinus – he guarantees success!! Again our mantra is, if you are not getting the action you hoped for, find the reason – we have the database and do everything we can to find your ideal (and real) and are eternally inviting new members in for all our benefit, because the next newbie may be YOUR match (and still sadly declining many that we know we cannot assist! These are often lovely people and need coaching first because they simply are not yet ready) – so do a little self-search on what you can do to improve outcomes, and work with us. Your attraction factor is your success factor – we cannot deliver love on a plate, being loveable gets you love in return. Days are getting cooler and nights longer, which bodes well for new romance!! We will be sending as many intros next week to everyone, if there are compatible matches!! Love and light then until next time, and please read hereunder ……even if you know it all, a refresh helps! We research tons of stuff every week …..and always try to save you time browsing, by giving you the best! Our comment in blue ….
Fond Regards Shannon
The Irrational Fear of Being Alone
By Susan Winter The fear of being alone is terrifying for most people I know. This paralyzing projection keeps many a couple trapped in a dysfunctional loop of unhappy relations. Though the reasons stated for not separating include children, loss of money or “it’s just not the right time,” at the core of this stasis is a fear of being alone. Someone, it seems, is better than no one.
The fear of being alone is an irrational construct. Alone doesn’t mean “lonely.” Yet, the false premise states that clinging to “another” for safety will somehow guarantee our safety. Security derived from an outer source is impossible. In the absence of our own self-love, we cannot connect to another in a meaningful way.
Staying in an unhappy partnership is viewed as being of greater value than honoring the self. It is fear. Projected fear. The loneliness imagined will only be experienced when not united with our selves. I’ve counseled many people on the merits of being comfortable in their own skin and finding peace within. While this is the answer, it’s astounding how much resistance is given to the concept. Many people just don’t have enough courage to love themselves! Even more reason to speak to one of our Love Gurus…… The reason for this resistance lies in outer identification. We’ve been told through movies, music and literature that we’re incomplete if we’re alone. Only the presence of “another” can alleviate the void we feel inside and make us feel whole. In actuality, we feel the void when we’re not aligned with ourselves. I
t’s folly. But still, the myth continues in the minds of far too many. How enticing the belief that someone else will be the balm to soothe us and the cure to our discontent? And how sad the realization that no one can provide solace for what we lack, inside. If you joined us hoping to find someone to complete you or rescue you, or be a trophy or conquest……….you need to rethink your goals! No outer force that can sooth inner discontent. In pressing our partner to do our work for us, they will certainly fail.Then, they become the problem. Our relationship becomes the problem. The love that was supposed to complete us becomes a battleground of conflicting wills as each holds the other’s happiness in their fickle hands. The fear of being alone is far greater than the real doing of it. Taking time to be alone with ourselves can be the greatest journey of a lifetime. The discovery of what we like, what we feel, what we want and who we really are is liberation at its finest. When actualized, one discovers the delight of a freedom far greater than imagined. After all, the worries and projected fears have passed, there comes the unexpected ah-ha moment — we are fine. Our former avoidance seems ridiculous in hindsight. There is peace and contentment. Then, joy. We realize we have ourselves as good company.
We begin to value the life we have…….and have far more to offer, a value add as a ‘whole person’ to a new love. We learn our fears of being alone were completely unfounded. We create a new platform from which love may grow. When we’ve worked through the fear of being alone, we may assess the validity of our existing partnership. With the pressure off our partner to save us, the relationship that seemed “dead” often finds new life. As we’ve changed, our partner must change in correspondence. From the point of inner connection, we may amend what we have or magnetize new suitors who also like themselves and like us. So many divorced people who join us tell us “I am divorced because he/she did not understand my needs…..” hmmmm, why were you needy in the first place? Why did you not simply ask nicely for what will please you, because your loved one sure as hell wants to please you!! Comfort within one’s self is the best starting point for a new relationship, or for a current love affair in peril. It’s the work that must be done by no one, but us. And, once done… is cherished as the edification of all that we are, and have now become. Unconditional love is born of tolerance, understanding, respect and giving ……..but some only take!
Perfect PartnersYou guys do an amazing job
Morning dear Shannon,
How is your long weekend going? Month end has come and now gone………..again J Thanks for asking about my beloved fur friends – dogs are amazing and they say if you want loyalty and a friend………………get a dog J There are so many tearful movies about dogs and their loyalty and one that comes to mind, is the Richard Gere movie set in Japan (can’t remember details) but when RG character died, his dog sat in the same spot in the town square for ages, waiting for his master to come home L J incredible!!! [expander_maker id=”1″ more=”Read more” less=”Read less”] A true story and so profound the story, the Mayor of the town erected a statue of the dog. Dealing with Mr. Public is tough and reading your newsletter, reminded me of when I was a Service Provider for Vodacom in 1994 for five years. It’s wild sometimes J You guys do an amazing job and I remain very impressed at the high calibre of ladies you have offered me in my 6 month spell so far – everyone a potential friend if not The One – and I know we are getting close!! My life has changed dynamically! I wish and hope your members appreciate how hard you work for us all, with such professional care and attention to detail. This is not like any other ‘dating service’ but more like being a member of an exclusive single’s friendship club, with you introducing all your friends to each other!! I do seriously consider you a friend!! When my helicopter is serviced, I plan to meet you all!
Short and sweet and merci bucket, MT
Perfect PartnersExellent advice from Shannon, much appreciated
From: FMF
Sent: 04 January 2017 11:01 PM
To: Perfect Partners Inc
Subject: EXCELLENT ADVICE FROM SHANNON, MUCH APPRECIATED
Dear Shannon Thank you so much for the email and the discussion yesterday, especially as you should be on leave. When I asked to discuss what had happened with XX and I, it was more to get advice and to have a sounding board – I find that dating can really make you doubt yourself sometimes! But in fact I got a whole lot more from you in terms of support and compassion which is what I needed after the very cold sms “cut-off”. [expander_maker id=”1″ more=”Read more” less=”Read less”] I thank you so much for that – the whole conversation was actually quite cathartic for me. I shared some of my minor issues with XX – not excessively so – but I take your point that this could be an issue for him and I need to be more mindful of this given where he is in his life right now. But if he is looking for perfection in me or our relationship, he will not find it…..we can only heed your advice and grow “into” our perfection as we go forward……… I appreciate your experience, guidance, kindness and enthusiasm for this, which is clearly more than just a job for you. You are really amazing and very astute, your ability to get the point quickly is a gift, as we soon had me laughing again, and now XX and I are back on track!
Warm regards FMF
Perfect PartnersSuccess story and a wedding in December 2016, single to soulmate!!
Hi dear RP and CM, (and all the ‘family’!) How wonderful to hear from you!! How time flies!! It is hard to believe CM and the three kitties are already fully installed – for keeps! What a fabulous journey it has been …..and I even think many ladies could be envious that RP was very sincere about moving heaven and earth to get his South African beauty, and it has happened, and I can ‘hear’ you are very much in love! CM will morph into a great USA citizen, with her sense of adventure and faith intact! [expander_maker id=”1″ more=”Read more” less=”Read less”] And living in Maine – could not be more perfect! I and the PP Team here wish you the most awesome of weddings on 10th December, we wish we could be there!! PLEASE send us photos! We are extremely fond of you and loved working with and for you – it has been a fabulous success story and will always be a very warm memory! Big hugs to CM, she is brilliant!! What a brave lady ……and a big kiss on the cheek from me dear RP, you are an extra- ordinary man! You knew your Ms. Right from day one! Much love and light for always, Fond Regards Shannon Dear all, and especially our wonderful Matchmakers, Perfect Partners! For 23 years, I lived alone in various parts of the world includng my 2013 move to mid-coast Maine. Now there are 7 living beings here in Harpswell, Maine, USA with 2 more on the way. My journey with Perfect partners was fabulous as I met stunning ladies…..and then my dream came true! The major addition was CM’s arrival in Boston from 10,000 miles away (JHB, SA) on Tuesday. The next night her 3 cats, Charlie, Roxy, and Lily arrived the after a 7 hour drive up here from JFK. Of course my adorable and extremely gentle bulldogs Yale and Kennedy have been now with me over a year. All is smooth so far, fingers crossed CM’s own very small dog Picasso will join us in the middle of next year, and her almost 18 year old son will be here for South African school holidays. He will arrive before the wedding and stay until almost New Years. Again we are both so happy at what seems to be a large positive response as to attending our Saturday Dec 10th wedding at UCONN. Also if any of you know a good photographer with a real camera, we may have a need for that.
Please be in touch any time you wish. We send our warmest to each of you, CM and RP
Perfect PartnersSpring has sprung for another great happy couple! …..a very happy story!
Hi Shannon Had dinner with KM last night, I can officially say this man is head over heels. He dotes over me and treats me with care and compliments, just so very, very nice! Best he has NOT pushed himself onto me at all from an intimacy point, that will come … He would like to introduce me to his friends at a dinner on Friday. Then he has asked me to join him in Cape Town when he gets back from the overseas (leaving for 2 weeks on Sat for bus), he wants to introduce me to his two girls at varsity! [expander_maker id=”1″ more=”Read more” less=”Read less”] (That is always a big step when you meet the children, well it is for me!) He has also asked me to join him, his friends and children to his game farm in December before I go away. Then he has asked me to clear March and would like me to come with on a skiing trip in Switzerland. Well …. What can I say. He is dying to meet my two girls, and my precious grandchildren, I made it abundantly clear that my tiny little family means everything to me, he loved that. We chatted a hind leg of a donkey! He treats me 100% like a lady and is certainly hunting big time. All and all it looks like I have turned the corner, and certainly looks like I might be on the eve of a new beginning, now I know what you mean by real transformation, everything has changed, and I was ready after all my duds and practice even. Thank you so very, very much for your patience, loving support, motivation and steadfast determination to find the right guys, you are very caring and professional matchmakers, and also friends. I think it works out to 25 frogs I couldn’t kiss …..… but they were all fabulous charming men of the best calibre. (Except the lawyer from Pretoria, he was creepy) Regards and very best wishes! BF
Oct 6,2016
Wow dear BF, this is just the best ever news!! It sounds divine – what a man!! Long term plans into next year is music to my ears!! You are going to really be happy! The best part is all the family involvement – that is a huge step in the right direction! Enjoy every precious moment and look after yourselves and each other – the gift of love is worth more than anything in the world as you know how ‘aloneness’ can eat at the soul despite all life’s rewards! You deserve love! I truly believe things happen as they should, it is all about timing, and it was your time – and certainly not for lack of trying!! SEE! It happens, it takes just one perfect match! Thanks for the compliments though that all our guys you met were great and real gentleman, that is for sure, just sadly not meant for you ….but ONE was and now you are a very happy and lovely lady!! We have always been very proud to present you out there, with dedication to our cause!! PLEASE keep us posted and we wish you much love and light, for always! xx
Fond Regards Shannon
Perfect PartnersCompliment – You are very Professional Matchmakers!
I am very impressed with the personal attention I have consistently been receiving from you all and the general high standards. Being in the service industry myself, I know what it takes and how difficult it is to keep up at times so please extend the compliment to everyone else as well at PP. [expander_maker id=”1″ more=”Read more” less=”Read less”] I have recommended you whenever the topic of conversation has come up. You are very rare people, you really care and you have made a huge difference for me in many ways, your hands-on support is invaluable.
Much appreciated
GL
Sharing the grief of love lost. A beautiful true story, although very sad!
This week we share a beautiful love story, and from it there is some inspiring message of hope and also a reminder that life is too short to waste! We do grieve and mourn here when we lose someone…….you may not realise it but we care about every one of our members!
[expander_maker id=”1″ more=”Read more” less=”Read less”]About four years ago we had a great success story, Ms. X 40, and Mr. Y 48 (for confidentiality sake we do not mention names) and it was a perfect match, they were totally in love and often we heard from them on all their awesome moments and adventures…..until we heard the terrible news that she came home from work one day to find him dead in his chair, a warm coffee cup besides him and the TV on his favourite sport. A perfectly healthy man who gymmed every day, never smoked or drank much or lived dangerously – just gone in a wink from a heart attack! He was in the prime of his life! It was the anniversary of his passing on 21st April and Ms. X sent us the most awesome dedication to her beloved, and it really touched our hearts. In her own words below in response to our condolences:
“Thank you Shannon, your kind words are most inspiring and encouraging. I dont know that I could ever love like this again – I have had too much pain in my life – too many knocks. I waited my whole adult life for this love, this perfect, amazing man. I gave and received 200%. I loved him more than my own life. We were the perfect couple, fitted together hand in glove, thanks to your expert matching and guidance in the early days to give it a chance when we weren’t sure – it was soon a dream come true. It has not gotten any easier with time and I cannot possibly love that way again. I am not ready to start over as he will be the one I love more than life itself. “
So we remind ourselves we do not know for whom the bell tolls …….live and love every day as if it were your last, is not just a cliché……because we only have the present and we havetomorrow, the past can never be brought back except in good memories that can sustain us as we head out ‘alone’ once more. We encourage all our precious members to allow love to find you – it is not the person’s “look”, or their wealth or lack of it, nor their social standing or their achievements and assets, it is purely the beauty of loving, and heart intelligence that can make real love happen between two sincere people – never intellectualise or over think a potential relationship, (does age really matter? Do the little habits and rituals we have make a difference?) give everyone we propose a chance, and rather hone your instincts and follow your heart when the time is right, and leave the door open so love can find you. It proves our point here that we got another email this week from another member who said she is going to explore a new relationship – despite not her ‘type nor my look’ she said, she cannot ignore the huge magnetism and overwhelming chemistry – who would have thought! She is so pleased she gave it a chance!
Bottom line – true love cannot be engineered, manipulated or bought (leave the ‘agendas’ out of the picture too) it is truly a heaven sent gift for the human species, if they allow it to happen! So off we go, seeking on your behalf as always, and hoping that new intros turn out to be magical for you all in the weeks ahead! Don’t give up because we sure do not – you all are fabulous folk and there is someone out there for YOU!
We are more driven than you know to find each one of you a perfect partner!! Your time will come …….be your best, be ready, and if you are not, work on it!
Much love and light until next time …..
Shannon and the PP Team
Perfect PartnersTheresa, now non-dating as she is in an AWESOME relationship! wow!
You make me laugh as always!
Its been so so super having you by my side for the last year…. That in itself was extremely supportive… just knowing that you were looking out for me.
Much love
T
Awesome dear Theresa ……indeed, it was serendipitous! It was your time! How utterly fabulous and so exciting, we are so very pleased for you – your new man sounds like one in a million, and it must have been hard for him out there to find someone like you that is so on the same level …..we are so pleased we could help……..you are going to be fine! I love a happy story and magic ending – may you truly be very happy into eternity! You sound perfect for each other! The universe knows ……maybe you had to complete your ‘journey’ of Self first, until the angels knew you were ready!
Much love and light and it has been so awesome working for you, we humbly accept any little gratitude that we may have made a tiny difference, even if it was in learning what you did NOT want!
xxxxx
Fond Regards
Shannon
Hi Shannon!
OMG… what a whirlwind J
I have met my man….. fit, active, super strong, highly intelligent, SUPER intuitive… an empath!!…. fun, gorgeous, a doctor (chiropractor), world travelled with risk management in the health industry! And loves all the sports I do……..just sooooo me and everything I have ever looked for! A strong and sensitive man who is so in touch with his stuff, it puts me to shame!
I have had the most fabulous 4 weeks. It was absolutely our time – a real serendipitous meeting – I was eventually ready for a man like this.
As you can tell – I am over the moon – without any attachment to where this may end up, I am thoroughly enjoying every single moment.
Thank you for all your wonderful help and support…..
Keep well – much love
Theresa
HUGE SUCCESS WITH DATE COACH AND NEW IMAGE
Hi Inge, Shannon and Veronica,
I trust you are well.
I am doing great! I need to compliment you an excellent professional match making service, a really warm, friendly and safe environment and human contact always at hand if I have a wobble!
Inge, your step by step guidance helped me overcome fear, the more I learnt about how this works, the more confident I became. You are a fabulous matchmaker!
Also, your guidance on my “dating image” was incredibly helpful as I now see myself quite differently – my confidence has grown with my improved “looks”! Why did I not bother to look my best before? Perhaps I cared more about everyone else and neglected myself! My new image and make-over took 2 days, and changed my life and it was such fun…..your guidance on what eligible bachelors really like in a lady, opened my eyes. Silly, but I feel I could “date myself” now I like myself so much more! LOL! [expander_maker id=”1″ more=”Read more” less=”Read less”]
I had a session with Veronica yesterday with another tomorrow.
I have had such deep and powerful shifts in my life as a result and I will be eternally grateful to you and Shannon for introducing her me.
These shifts have not just opened me up to men but have also shifted in my son and my people at work. It is true what you all said, I am a magnet now for others and my warmer and friendlier me means others “see” me now!
Thank you again for the intro and for helping in my journey to healing and to be in a position to receive love for the first time in my life.
I am excited for what the future holds and understand there is indeed a lid for every pot, and I accept I may not please everyone always, but those that are attracted by me, will certainly value me for who I am!
My best wishes and keep up the good work for all those singles dating and seeking out there, they really need this professional dating service!
Jennifer-Anne
[/expander_maker]
Perfect Partners
THE TRUTH WILL SET YOU FREE, BUT FIRST IT WILL P*SS YOU OFF!! YOUR MATCH MAKER WANTS YOU TO SUCCEED!
Good morning Shannon,
I hope you are doing fantastic
Thank you for another very informative and enjoyable newsletter………and yes, the truth is sometimes hard to swallow but if people are not getting the successful outcomes they expected, then someone has to help them with the HOW, WHAT and WHEN to up their game on a scale of 1 – 10, and we all do need constructive critique at times! [expander_maker id=”1″ more=”Read more” less=”Read less”]
I think members who take your articles “personally” really have to do some soul searching, look at their self-image and they will find that the articles can only assist to look at our hopes and dreams in a very different light… not an easy exercise but certainly necessary, no soul mate is going to drop out the sky … and I know for myself, I have loved your guidance and my dating experiences have hugely improved and still going strong. I am even about to renew my contract as I feel you are ALL SUCH A GREAT SUPPORT SYSTEM AND PART OF MY LIFE!
Please supply me with the lady that does the profile pics again…….. thanks a mil J
Also please look at my profile info and give me some feedback whether I have enough details needed to portray me as a person and someone that are looking for that Mr. Right and a long term fulfilling relationship……so we can give this another twirl. I have been doing corporate doing for some time before joining you, and honestly, there is NOBODY and nothing nearly as expert, kind and caring as you guys – truly professionals match makers.
Us executives dating out there also need assurance we are safe as we have much to lose if we associate with the wrong people who may have nefarious agendas. I have learnt so much as a woman seeking a man, and that means the right man (and you have introduced me to awesome guys for sure, I just was not truly ready) and my whole “defensive attitude” has changed, and I can own it, I was doing it wrong. There are wonderful men out there!
Have a brilliant Monday and wishing you lots of blessings xxxxxx
Kind Regards
Jane
[/expander_maker] Perfect PartnersYou truly are my soldiers of love!
Hi Shannon
I am so sorry, I have only just read your email. Thank you so much for taking the time to write to me, I truly appreciate it. Firstly, thanks for being such a professional matchmaker! Your personal singles introductions are truly the best!
I have told Allan already and I thought it better to do so as he was really making an effort, texting last night and this morning and he is such a nice man, there honestly was no spark there for me at all and I am so bad at pretending. [expander_maker id=”1″ more=”Read more” less=”Read less”]I also know that he would not have just wanted to be friends 🙂 sadly he is not my perfect partner despite it being an expert match.
I have realised that I dont know what I want or need in a man and maybe I need to figure this out first which is why I have decided to put this on hold for a month or so while I go figure out what it is really want from love and men. I also still seem to hurt too easily 🙂 I thought I was going to be able to “play the field” a bit and find out what I want but feelings are involved and I dont know how to handle that part. I thought dating in this day and age was easy! I may be an executive single lady but I realise how much I need a professional matchmaker NOW TO HELP WITH A DATING GAME PLAN.
I thought I was doing well with John and Allan but truly had no idea that John thought I was only seeing or chatting to him and not settling, we were not even on the same page yet! 🙂 I apologise if I have negatively impacted on PP by telling John myself but perhaps if you just confirm with him what I have told you, he will at least know it is the truth, and you can send him more ideal matches. He asked me, when we were out on our date, what my perfect match would be and I told him that I had no idea.
Maybe when I start again I should look at doing some relationship coaching. I struggle with the grey areas of life and dating definitely is a grey area for me. Amazing how we can get to this age and still be so seemingly incapable of understanding each other or communicating effectively with each other. Dating sites are a waste of time as you do not really know who your perfect match is until too late, singles only social clubs are a bunch of losers! My friends think a guy is awesome – but they haven’t seen him in a romantic context, they are lousy at matchmaking! I truly value your slow and methodical professional singles introductions to screened and profiled guys.
Thank you again Shannon, I am sure you must have your hands full with all of us oh so very mature teenagers! 🙂 🙂
Much love and light to you.
Andrea
xxx
2nd March 2018
Hi dear Andrea,
I meditated on your email and have really so much to encourage you with ……..but the bad news is you will not possibly resolve this vortex you find yourself in if you go off the radar and wait!! You can only learn to ride the horse if you stay in the saddle! Best to start now, at a leisurely pace …….see below….. (and you are not alone, explained hereunder). There is excellent help we can provide in getting you dating executive singles!!
I can share this with you – until my experiences through PP I only realised over 50 what it is all about! Bwahahahahahaha!! I practiced on 3 husbands after all (may they rest in peace) and many flames…..and finally my best ever friend who stood by me while I went through two marriages, came back into my life and taught me how very simple it all is!! it was all about VALUES!! I had the right values like honesty, truthfulness, dedication to what I did, warm and giving blah blah…(maybe tooooo much, maybe I WAS a people pleaser too!)…..but they were hidden under a coat of (shiny) armour hiding a fearful façade ….. from designer clothes to false friends to the high living lifestyle, maybe even vanity and ego!! I was using the wrong things to get approval and find attraction because I thought that was what was needed, comparing myself to “others” who seemed to have it all. No wonder I never found my perfect match! I can write a book!! The quality of my lifestyle has not changed, but my entire value system recognises my abundance now! And I have love….true love! We are a perfect match!
We may never mature, and we may stay teenagers forever, nothing wrong with that angel, because we encourage everyone to keep “their inner child alive” ……..that child could be awed, dazzled, learn new things, had no fear and was not tarnished by life’s disappointments, with naïve belief the world was good, that people are nice to us, that fairness is standard, and love easily found! Then the Hard Knock Café becomes our “space” and we get cynical. Corporate dating is a niche world, despite all the achievements, everyone is still human and vulnerable.
So never lose your inner child – you have something very special and that is why John so over-reacted!! And Allan is really keen!! And I promise, other guys would have loved you for who you are too, given a chance…….if you had your game plan waxed!! J Start fixing at a cellular level! We are your professional matchmakers and will find the best potential!
So many people fret “what is wrong with me, have I lost some heart/brain cells? Will love ever find me?”…where is my soul mate…..and true, they do not know what being loveable is or what they want/need….or how to recognise love when it knocks on the door…….and they end up with a therapist…..and millions of hours and bucks later are often more confused!! (necessary if there is a real psychological pathology….but you are not in this group! You are fabulous! J).
(I don’t know if you read my weekly articles – or were here already yet when I sent out the one on “some people are incapable of love?” …..truly worth reading as it also earmarks co-dependency and narcissistic traits). I can resend!
Just to mention…….it comes as quite a surprise to many single ladies that men are truly capable of adoring, worshipping and loving them unconditionally in this “false truth” decade/era……..especially once they join us!! The mavericks quickly settle in and TRUST then they can invest in a lady they are attracted to again (after their own hard knocks and disappointments)……..then the disappointment, the ladies didn’t know it, the guys are ready to love but the ladies have no idea what they throwing away!
They don’t GET IT! Single society in general lives the farce of instant gratification …..wine/dine me, ravish me then we can all move on (you were not going to stay anyway, so wé!)…or “what is in it for me, now!!”…….with no long-term goal, because life moves too quickly and we live in a throw-away world! (us women are IMPRINTED by the past love-loss, that we are disposable, NO!!!)……let’s take back our power, with hugs and kisses and the feminine goddess we all have within – let her shine! We must have patience and staying power to transformation can happen.
Please know you have NOT let us down …..in fact, you are still an asset on the way to being even a better one! J John respects you even more for being honest …..he gets livid when the above scenario plays out and he is not taken seriously when he was starting to “invest” his gentle heart…….and Allan, same thing (he was very keen), well I will offer a shoulder ….if he needs! Honestly, a bit of ego here if he thought you were falling so quickly……no Allan, much more input needed, but thanks for being so open with your heart! Maybe he learnt something …….you were not one of those to fall into his arms …..yet……J
Love and light as always sweetheart!! Here for you whichever way you choose ……your soldiers of love!
BIG HUGS!!
Fond Regards
Shannon
[/expander_maker] Perfect PartnersA very happy member reports!
Hi Shannon,
I want to tell you how much you have changed my life – a new me, better health and even a love interest! I am determined to keep his interest HOT! I know I stand a better chance if I improve my shape too. [expander_maker id=”1″ more=”Read more” less=”Read less”]
Hey, practice what you preach! LOL! Go for it if you need to lose a few kgs, and do your Kata! You encouraged me so awesomely that time of the match… It’s hard and carbs are the worst, but taste the best, I sympathise with you now. If one can stay focused, it takes 3 weeks to break a habit, then it goes better… I’ve kick started karate again, on a mission now to complete and get my 3rd Dan and lost 5kgs already, I feel fantastic. It’s just my favourite sport and doing a Kata is beautiful!
Hope you have a good evening and don’t have to work too late.
Thanks always and always for your encouraging messages. I really and honestly feel so looked after, safe & hopeful – I know you care and you are the best matchmaker around and even a friend now! I know you will always support me too! Dating sites sucked! I will never go there again! Your calibre of professional men is unbelievable – I thought there were none left on the planet!
Fond wishes,
Angel
[/expander_maker] Perfect PartnersA new member joins Perfect Partners and is very impressed at the process!
Hi Shannon
Many thanks, I am looking forward to the experience, albeit a bit nervous You guys have me so comfortable, the interview was very friendly and caring with tons of gentle guidance, and I do not feel alone anymore, knowing I have guys like you behind me, always a friendly call away! It is comforting to know there is a truly professional matchmaker in our country, I am just sorry I took so long to do this!
Regards
Sally
Feb 25, 2018
Hi dear Sally,
Thanks so much for enquiry and lovely profile, and I do believe you and Inge are chatting, so I am just introducing myself! We love your profile – you sound exactly like the kind of lady our professional, stable and yummy bachelors seek (they are also not desperate but love our recruitment and personal introduction process as they also want the best ‘love investment’ for a lasting love story) so you are in good company! On the contrary, our kinda guys are NOT intimidated by independent and strong ladies – this is actually what they seek, as long as they are feminine and not using ‘masculine power’ and are bullies or bossy ……..this info we will be sharing and it is quite an eye opener what truly good guys want! Feminine power is awesome – the very seat of nurturing our species, so they admire this in a lady …….they just do not want to date a ‘buddy’ who competes on their territory like a male.
Enjoy your interaction with Inge …..we are process driven and have been acclaimed as the elite matchmakers in the country, with some 12 years experience and thousands of happy couples on our books (or rather, off our books! LoL). She will explain all the processes, the next steps and look after you well. We take responsibility for all our actions and work with, and for you!
Much love and light,
Fond Regards
Shannon
CEO/Matchmaker/Coach (specialising in the single dyamic at all levels for the individual needs, ‘date ready’ preparation, your hands-on, expert prfilers – always a call away!).
[/expander_maker] Perfect PartnersThe right moment is now!
Good Morning Shannon
I am sending you the best and biggest virtual hug I can conjure up this morning. Thank you for your most beautiful words, empathy and advice. What a journey you is! I agree, why wait! Having had these few days without male attention again forces me to acknowledge that I do want to love and be loved so hey, I need to find out how to do this again!! I love learning and I am currently doing a life coaching course myself and so I understand you when you say it is about “values” and I have been questioning mine for a while now in an attempt to understand myself better. [expander_maker id=”1″ more=”Read more” less=”Read less”] I realise though that when it comes to relationships I am so confused as to what my values are, especially in this phase of my life! I am going to contact Veronica this morning and get going. Have the most beautiful day.
Much love and light to you
Xxxx
Verona
23rd Feb. 2018
Ahhhh my darling Verona, I have tears in my eyes, dinkum!! A HUGE virtual hug back!!
I so know where you are coming from, been there myself, and there was no help, I was not a basket case that needed a shrink……I had to learn the hard way!! When I became an accredited coach it helped me “arrange” my thoughts and with the help of my colleagues and friends who are also coaches, I quickly caught up and all my experiences in life and love came together….…if only I was only 50 years old now to benefit more from my deepest insights!!
BUT, I believe God and the universe meant for me to be here where I am now, helping my sistas and other women who have gone through these agonising moments!! J It truly is my karmic calling ….hee hee, maybe my “give back” to evolve to a new level for the next life is my purpose, and repair what I messed up in the past life! J I sure as hell want to come back next time much smarter!! LOL!!
Even though a coach myself, I find I definitely need neutral help from experts like Veronica and Katie, one cannot be the chef and the gourmet diner! I have alerted Veronica you will be calling – you will love her too!
Veronica would love to hear from you – ……….jump to it soonest, you can truly find what you seek when you know YOU better, and what you really want! You are so lovely, and it is not for nothing you are so popular!! Men crave to meet women like you …….I will expand on this in my newsletter!
I am hugely relieved, because we all know “waiting until later” is procrastination……which is fear of failing!! If you were shallow and plastic, I would have just bowed to your choices, and waited then. LOVE YOU!!
I am so inspired I think my newsletter today will be about this finding love thing, dedicated to you (no mention of names), from a different perspective, not an article, but more a question and answer session – with a situation similar to yours!
Tons of love and light for a Fabulous Friday!!
xxxxxx
Fond Regards
Shannon
[/expander_maker] Perfect PartnersVery happy with coaching service! Thanks Veronica!
Hi Veronica
Thank you for our session yesterday. You have affirmed that I am on the right track to look for my own special friend and hopefully to find love again. I feel more confident about presenting the best of me (photo shoot today!) and actively looking out for potential partners, even among the friends I have had for years or the men I come into contact with through work, though I do of course hope that Perfect Partners will find “the one”! My experience so far has been great – your whole team of matchmakers has made a big difference to my views on the business of find love again. [expander_maker id=”1″ more=”Read more” less=”Read less”]You do a wonderful job and must help so many people. Very special. I now realise this takes a dating strategy and is not a hit-and-miss, even though you are my matchmakers, I need to check out every “potential” that crosses my path – I have been hiding for too long! It is true I need to let “others” know I am available and not wait in my ivory tower. Many thanks, Catherine
[/expander_maker] Perfect PartnersWelcome to a very special bachelor!
THANKS FOR RESTORING MY BELIEF – I AM READY TO FIND LOVE AGAIN!
Hi dear Shannon and Inge,
Thank you so much for the sensitive way in which you have dealt with me over the past ten days and your dedication and patience – I was very nervous and sceptical and almost ready to give up on ever finding a genuine lady who just wants a guy to love her and give her everything he can and who can appreciate love as a divine gift, such a simple and natural necessity in our existence – for what else is the purpose of working so hard and being a better person when you have nobody to share it with? I have been so let down recently, finding ladies only see the material things and are so uncaring and selfish, I am not a robot but a very warm hearted guy. [expander_maker id=”1″ more=”Read more” less=”Read less”] I am highly respected at the highest level in my career, but overlooked as a just a man seeking a partner. I feel like something is wrong with ME! You have restored my confidence and now realise I have been looking in the wrong places and too eager to please making me look needy (now understand I am allowed my boundaries too, life is a two-way street afterall) so am joining now as a Diamond Member because I believe investing in your services means in return you will invest in me, and so far you have done more for me than anyone else on a personal level in years! I do feel very safe and now looking forward to my new adventure in the world of dating! You guys are tuly professional matchmakers with plenty of heart!
Fond regards Allan
06 Feb. 2018
Hi there dear Allan, thank you so much for the time spent chatting to Inge – you have made a really good impression and you really touched her heart and mine – we hear this often from really successful singles and it is a sad fact you guys become a target for other’s evil agendas and often are exploited and used, so we truly understand!! We understand that many ladies too are disillusioned and think men in general are shallow, and this perpetuates the cycle of living without real meaning – and yes, what is life/achievement without sharing with someone who cares? Precisely why we are here!! We provide both a safe and friendly environment of likeminded singles with the same needs, dreams and views of a happy life shred with an adored and adoring partner. Even though us gals are empowered now (strong and independent) there is nothing like a fabulous strong arm to lean on through all life’s ups and downs. I have attached your invoice as requested, and look forward to bringing you into “the family” soonest and welcoming you on board! I would also love to make your acquaintance as we will be working closely on your strategy, and getting you prepared for your new adventure!! I have a few very workable ideas already! Can I call you this afternoon? Always in love and light then until later,
Fond Regards Shannon
[/expander_maker] Perfect PartnersThe busy-busy syndrom, FOMO, being too busy can be an excuse – you need to make time for yourself if you are dating!
Awesome dear Nic, coming from you we are very flattered you found this hitting the spot!! Thanks for reading our article on what men are really seeking, we do wish more ladies would take heed – we do know how busy you are so thanks for reading!! I also see you comment often how busy you are – it seems time does not favour you often (also the flurry with Vivienne on time keeping) and it does make me think and wonder to ask, do you put your foot down and draw your line in the sand when people are time vampires? [expander_maker id=”1″ more=”Read more” less=”Read less”]
Do you always wish to help and be there for them, at your own expense – because angel, you also need your sacred space in time! I recognise this trait in myself and force myself every day to try and say “later” …or “as soon as I can but not until…”..and prioritise or delegate, and actually, the world didn’t end if I attend first thing the next day or when needed!! I am driven to get it all done TODAY, NOW, this minute …….but actually, does it really make a difference? “Busy-ness” can also be a subconscious foil for fear of being forgotten, left out, missing out (FOMO), or appearing slack ….then we get lost in time and look disorganised…hee hee, so which is the best option? I do agree though if a rugby match is running over time, no WAY can you not watch the final minutes!! LOL!! a lady should forgive a man this transgression!! (But then is she runs late, it works both ways!) We have activated your latest date …..please do not call at “inappropriate” hour, like after 8pm, unless you text and explain you in a meeting whatever, and they happy with it!! also try to meet soonest …….long drawn out texts over more than a week get under a lady’s skin and you start falling from grace! J We understand not easy when you are a busy professional, but every positive move helps ..the sooner the better!!
Fond Regards Shannon
[/expander_maker] Perfect PartnersThank you! My life is transforming
Dear Shannon,
Thank you very much for the extended session this morning. I am so more confident now with meeting great worthy bachelors and I know I am worth a great catch! I am able now to keep an open mind, as my quotation says, and up for all challenges in the language of love. [expander_maker id=”1″ more=”Read more” less=”Read less”]
It was hugely insightful. You are an incredible date coach, you get to the point in the kindest way and our profiling is spot on – I trust you as my matchmaker with all my heart! I realise I have made many bad choices because I was attracted to the ‘wrong elements’, but I now have more depth.
I look forward to learning to put some of your suggestions and ideas into practice and working at it.
It is really great to have someone so committed, straight forward and honest to work beside me.
I know you will call me when you need to but more importantly guide and support me to develop my confidence and my tactics
Thank you for your incredible dedication.
With gratitude
Candy
Single and alone? It is never too late to start again!
Hi dear Wanda,
Ahhhhh, how I got immediate insight to your situation!! All my experience, insights and instincts just went “boom” into place! I just so understand your situation! I have been there! In fact after a divorce I remarried and then was widowed, so starting over twice has been one of my personal strengths! I wish I had a personal matchmaker back then to ‘recruit’ for me! [expander_maker id=”1″ more=”Read more” less=”Read less”]
When I retired from the corporate world in all things ‘human sciences’ I decided to start Perfect Partners with the goal, mainly, of helping others to start over by offering a professional matchmaking service with a human touch – a voice people can talk to. We are unlike any other dating site! I had experienced both times quite a shift in my social scene (my married friends seemed to disappear or were scarce) as I started out – my lifestyle was different and getting into a world of Singles was quite hairy! I had no shortage of suitors but felt very vulnerable! A sensitive matchmaking service to look out for me would have been very welcome! Some of them were quite an experience. I do enjoy my own time and company, but I realised I had to find my niche in this new world ……which I successfully did (I tried a few so-called elite single dating sites but it was awful) and now can happily profess that I am in a very wonderful relationship with a guy who is also my best friend! We still respect each other’s space and maintain our individuality (in fact we are chalk and cheese as he is quite the pedantic analyst and realist, while I am more the academic romantic) and we balance each other out, always interesting and never a dull moment as we approach things from different viewpoints but manage to come to the same outcomes!
I do recommend a no-obligation chat on how personal matchmaking works – we can explain that this new adventure is one of purely networking with a chosen (you get to choose from our prospects who have been relatively well screened as stable, healthy (mind, body and soul) and committed (no baggage, sad sacks or players or perverts) and normal selection of great guys – you are only making friends and opening new doors to possibilities! You only start ‘dating’ once there is mutual attraction).
Love will find you when the time is right and it is never predictable! I can see you are not needy, co-dependent or desperate (sorry, but these descriptors fit most singles out there, hence we are so careful who we sign up but we also help those that need our ‘date coaching’ to get passed these issues so they can confidently enjoy our matchmaking service) so making new friends just means a nice new dimension to your current life……at your pace and in your own time! Everyone who wants to try this matchmaking exercise seems to start with the final outcome in mind, envisioning (in panic) a sudden committed relationship with a new person invading your space, virtually a faceless stranger! LoL! That is flipping scary! Nope, it does not happen this way ….it is a slow process of just getting comfortable and can be hugely rewarding as it is such a gift to mix and mingle with new friends!
The norm is to receive one or too good matches a month, maybe even more depending on your own pace, so that you can spend time getting to know each other slowly. (All our protocols and strategies are in place after our brief ‘induction’ to settle you with your own plans). This is NOT like internet when you get a barrage of hundreds of hits from men clamouring and knocking you over! It is tasteful, selective and respectful……and fun! You would get a concise CV and current pics by email of every proposed intro, so you can ‘yay or nay’ right from your laptop, before even leaving your front door! We find that if two proposed intros both like each other’s profile and ask to meet, there is already a good spark of interest – so it is very comfortable. And yes, it gives a nervous zing and some butterflies, but that is what being alive is all about! (These profiles are anonymous enough that no guy could ever find you or know who you are directly! So you safe to just decline any intros!).
Soooooo, on this lovely cooler morning, here is a long read, but I feel it is my karmic duty to advise and try to assist! A brief orientation chat will explain more, then we can book the no-obligation telephone interview …….it highlights many subconscious thoughts (sifting the throw away ones and keeping the positives) and is quite self-determining – then you know for sure if you ready or not! I have a psychology background and specialise in the single dynamic, so we look carefully at everything.
I know you may still be grieving, but life goes one and transformation is a slow process, grief becomes good memories despite maybe a few hard knocks before, and new adventures and new friends are a pleasure! I do not know your age, but I am now in my sixties so I can assure you – I live a very full and rewarding life and I have the wisdom and luxury to choose what my priorities in life are! BLACH!!
I would to chat – please just give me a day/evening and time to call ……I predict we would have an interesting chat anyway!
Much love and light,
Fond Regards
Shannon
Jan 30, 2018
Hello Shannon,
Thanks for your mail and your concern.
I did receive your mail regarding costs, thank you for that. You are definitely very professional matchmakers as I have spoken to others and they are not nearly as caring as you!
I am just not sure right now about this whole dating thing. Although I am lonely at times, it has only been 17 months since my husband died and I am still toiling with the idea of meeting other men socially. I work with them all the time in business and don’t have a problem with that.
Will keep in touch.
Regards
Wanda
Advice required…..hmmmm, maybe …?????
Sent: 16 October 2017 10:28 PM
To: Perfect Partners Inc
Subject: Advice required…..hmmmm, maybe …?????
Thank you so much for the advice, it really has helped. He is private but has started sharing more with me, especially more personal things. As mentioned, he does spend most of his time with me and truly cares and is there for me and pays attention….so far a perfect match! [expander_maker id=”1″ more=”Read more” less=”Read less”] He has told me what his issues are and what he is dealing with which is a good sign I think and I’m pretty sure there are no secret wives haha For me there definitely is a deeper connection and so I think I’m going to hang on a little longer and see what happens.
Regards LM
Oct 17, 2017
Thanks dear lovely LM, we are so pleased to hear that then, finding love again is never easy – please give it your best and see where it goes!! SB is a very sincere guy and maybe not complicated, just internalises things and often this is just being cautious, which comes over to some as “closed” of even aloof! Still a great match! These personality types may ‘overthink’ some things, but the good thing is they are not reckless or unpredictable!! And one thing for sure, our dear SB has a high moral compass!! This means he really needs to trust as well ………so even if you think things are trivial, just share casually (not sounding like you need the male left brain “Mr. Fixit” which throws men into a panic if they don’t know the why or how!) so that he knows your thoughts and feelings …..share things that make you happy, and things that upset, tell him you just sharing an experience you had…..so that his barometer of where you are at is accurate! It sounds really great then dear LM, please keep us posted, and we wish you all of the best in your next dating experience! ……and something that always works is have FUN!! Men in general are not very inventive (and secretly like that their ladies come up with ideas, of course, as a mutual decision) or creative about fun things (they even think some things are frivolous) but bring that ray of light, humour and just enjoyment to your lives……..and sharing a laugh is the best medicine for everything! I predict you are more extrovert while he is more introvert (not lacking courage or confidence, but because of his cautious nature) and that is a great recipe for success!! Go for it! xxxx
Fond Regards Shannon
[/expander_maker] Perfect PartnersHappily married since 2011!
Hi Shannon I hope you and the Team are doing well and still doing a fine job with all the singles dating out there! It’s been 6 years and counting…since you introduced me to WB. I wonder if you remember…we met in 2010 and got married in 2011. We’ve been happily married ever since and we are very content and very much still in love! [expander_maker id=”1″ more=”Read more” less=”Read less”]
I remember how nervous and scared I was but thanks to your excellent professional matchmaking and guidance, it was so easy and natural, thanks goodness I never risked any dating sites! We are such a perfect match! It felt like you introduced me to one of your friends, and all very natural. We were part of your interracial dating service and fitted together so well. I would like to surprise W on our 6th year wedding anniversary 24 September 2017. I was wondering if you could send me a copy of both our profiles so that I can frame it as a gift. I really hope this is possible, as I know you regard all your clients personal information as highly confidential, he will be so delighted. We met November 2010 and married 24 September 2011. I highly recommend your matchmaking service to all my single friends and am proud to have been part of your exclusive network! Keep up the good work and we send all our blessings to all the singles out there seeking true love – everything is possible if you do it right.
Fond regards, GB
[/expander_maker] Perfect PartnersI find myself wanting to write to you, firstly to share my story and secondly to say an enormous thank you!!
Dear Perfect Partners I find myself wanting to write to you, firstly to share my story and secondly to say an enormous thank you!! Not necessarily in that order… I came across PP by default……… After the ending of a twenty year marriage, I spent ten years completely on my own. Well, that is not entirely true… I had the most incredible time with my children. We were and will always be the most fantastic team. [expander_maker id=”1″ more=”Read more” less=”Read less”] They, in fact, are the very best part of me and my life………………………………… forever and always. Yet, I found myself, from time to time, wondering what it would be like to meet someone and more importantly, if I would ever be blessed enough to fall in love again……. During the time on my own, I spent many, many hours thinking and reflecting and, yes, even acknowledging my part in the breakdown of what I thought would be my forever… Much introspection was accomplished. During that time, Match VIP, crossed my path, but although I met with Bonita, I never followed through. There is much to be said for being in the right space. During 2016, totally unexpectedly, someone came into my life. He was kind but extremely controlling, and I was to find out in a really hard and painful way that I had become involved with a true Narcissist. It shook me and I had some harsh realizations to work through… The hardest thing being that I was prepared to accept the way he treated me, rather than be on my own. It took a monumental effort to pick up the pieces of my life, again, and walk away. Round about the April of 2017 I decided that I had to move on and that I dearly wanted to have someone in my life that I could love… I tried to contact Bonita again – she put me in touch with PP. My story begins… It was very daunting for me…. Photographs, putting into words who and what I was about… not easy …. Alma was wonderful, and she has remained there to listen and guide and be my voice of reason when I was wobbling… I have met five incredibly amazing and awesome men through PP! You are perfectly honest about the great caliber of your fine bachelors! I never thought it possible after my own bad experiences trying it on my own. Each one a true legend in their own way…….. I am putting in names just because they are so worthy of being mentioned and not just a nameless coffee encounter… XXXXXX – a true gentleman…..this is where my confidence started growing! XXXXXXX …… Well, wish it was easier to put feelings into words and have the same effect! He is charming, funny, considerate and an amazing person to be with… He actually knocked my socks off… XXXXXX….. He has a voice that can melt an iceberg… I spent so many wonderful hours and days with him. He made me feel desirable and taught me that at 51, I could still give myself completely on an intimate level… He gave me confidence and belief in myself…………………………………………. XXXXX……………. I love his passion for his fluffy pawed kids. He is full of humour and charm. Would have loved getting to know him better… Finally and the best of all…. XXXXXX…… He has changed my life and my world… He makes me feel like no one else exists when we are together….. It is like time stops. He treats me with love and respect and I am so looking forward to our journey together…… He tells me how beautiful I am… How warm and gentle, soft and fluffy and perfect I am, too. Mostly, I just think he needs his eyes tested!! HaHa… His children are gorgeous and my children just want the best for me… We chat for hours and no matter my fears ( I tend to be a worrier ) he calms them …. He is so even tempered and treats people with respect … When I think of him I see a man of integrity. A family man who will always treat me like a princess….. He spoils me and remembers my favourite things …. even though I may only have briefly mentioned them… He loves that I believe in fairy tales and everything pink, fluffy and sparkly…. I want to make him happy…. I want him to know I will honour him and that he is my knight… that I will always have his back and that he can trust me… Shannon – thank u!! Thank you for the enormous amount of hours and care you put into helping us find our perfect partner…. Thank you for the hours you put into your weekly” words of wisdom…” I have learnt much… Your team are just the best! Alma – the very very best!! Thank you for being there and mailing me when I was falling apart over XXXXXXX… If you speak to him at any time, please tell him I thought he was not just the bees knees- but the whole jolly bee!! And that whenever I listen to Johnny Clegg, I can’t help but think of him and smile, hugely…… I have grown so much since joining PP- I ACTUALLY OWE YOU MORE THAN JUST A THANK YOU… I owe a bright, shiny and happy future to us all… I hope with all my heart that I will never need PP again- but I will stay in touch – your work is done!! Sending loads of pink fluffy love Your pink fluffy lady! XXXXXX
Sep 30, 2017
Hi dear S, What a fabulous email, and you really brought tears to our eyes!! We are so thrilled you found your perfect match and it sure does look for a lifetime journey of great happiness!! We must praise you too – you are a fabulous lady, you have looked after yourself (and do not knock yourself for being 51, you have kept up your good looks and figure and attitude) and in totally honesty, the MOST important thing is your gentle nature and humble ways, even though a highly educated and intelligent lady, you have never been self-important, conceited, opinionated – and never undersell yourself, you may be “pink and fluffy” because you are a gentle natured person and believe in love and moonbeams still, but you are no fool! The fact is you are every guy’s dream because you are just NORMAL and very special, without making any statements or demands. You are also aware of your shortcomings (we all have them angel!), which were quickly sorted through your willingness to accept our guidance!! We know you have truly found a most awesome and fabulous guy, and you will always be his queen! Thanks again for sharing, and we have blogged your story to inspire others seeking the real deal, to find love, and maybe use the services of a professional matchmaker who cares! And yes, it was nerve wracking getting through the interviews (the perfect way to really discover yourself too!) and getting good photos, but nothing in life is worth having unless you work for it! We love you lots and will always remember our lady who still believes in magic and fairy tales,
Fond Regards always, Shannon and Inge and Alma
[/expander_maker] Perfect PartnersA very excited Perfect Partner
Dear Shannon, I was invited by Pieter to visit him on his farm yesterday. This gave me a picture of the real Pieter, he has a lovely home and made a fabulous braai. We had a swim and spent quality time talking. He is so gentle and strong in the same sense and I felt safe. I can see a life together but still early days. [expander_maker id=”1″ more=”Read more” less=”Read less”] We are both cautiously optimistic. And I am showing it – had to take a sleeping tablet last night to get some sleep I was so excited (I feel my life has started over, which just goes to show, you are so right, we must never give up on ourselves – I thought there were no good men left). He is more than what I have prayed about. He will also phone you if he has not yet as he also does not want to meet any more ladies.
From a very excited Perfect Partner, Katrina
[/expander_maker] Perfect PartnersDoes he really love you? or is he MANIPULATING You?
ARE YOU BEING MANIPULATED??
Dear Shannon & team What a wonderful article, I have already shared it with my daughters, both young adults embarking on their life’s journey. In the throes of young and exciting love one can so easily miss these signs and end up in a difficult relationship and this advice is really worth reading. A lesson I learned the hard way many years ago and a reminder never goes amiss. [expander_maker id=”1″ more=”Read more” less=”Read less”] I am very much enjoying all the articles you send. I am so pleased I joined you guys as I am learning new stuff every day and very confident love is around the corner now for me!
Thanks for sharing Best wishes TC
DOES HE REALLY LOVE YOU? OR IS HE MANIPULATING YOU? (Guys, you can read “she” for every “he” because it works both ways!)
Happy Friday again to all our awesome members and we hope the full moon brought fresh starts for you all! It also brings “endings” so this is always sad, but letting go makes space for new things to start! When we weigh our scales of needs and wants, often something has to go to make room for something new, in order to keep balance in our lives. If it is a relationship where you seem to give more than receive, a career you don’t really enjoy, or a situation you have tolerated just too long, it is a good time to review. For some it may be an old “look” or image/style they hang on to…..well, take a long hard look in the mirror and ask yourself “can I improve myself with a “a new me?” as we do get stale! You’re personal branding in these daysis important! In fact a new outfit has hit the headlines “Revenge Makeover SA” (teeth are a must do if not looking so good anymore!) and you can Google and see what amazing things people are doing to fight back, regain their youth, good looks and become more confident! (Not only the ladies, but also the men! Us gals love a stylish and neat man in nice clothes and smelling good!).
Having the smarts and a charming personality helps, but all people are visual, more so the male species, a scientific fact!! But please do not feel inferior if you are not a Poster Pin-Up, everyone has their “imprinted” version of what pleases their eyes and what they find attractive – one person’s frog is another’s prince/princess, and even the most homely people may attract – but still do the best you can. Every pot has a lid! Even a bent lid may do! LOL! Even so, unless you are God’s gift in every way, be reasonable on what you can expect to attract – even Stevens all round, as the Afrikaans saying goes “soort soek soort” – that works best! Today’s article is shared with compliments of Your Tango about manipulation, with a little input from me in red!! From outright narcissism to selfishness or people with their own agendas, there are many signs that will warn you if you know what they are! Much love and light then until next time and have a great weekend,
Fond Regards Shannon
Don’t stay in a relationship with someone who ever says any of these to you.
- “You’re being overly emotional.”
When you’re in a relationship, you should be able to freely express how you feel about a situation as the expectation is the other actually cares. Even if it is trivial, or if it is upsetting you, it’s important that you are able to share this concern with your partner and get some reassurance. Shannon: BUT, it is how you share ….not whinge and whine, but explain gently what would make you happy or improve things! Make it short and logical, not take the other on a trip around the world getting there! But toxic partners are unable to handle the fact that they have caused you to be upset and instead of accepting that and fixing it, they will blame you and your “issues.” It isn’t overly-emotional to be upset when they do something dumb like flirting with others if you have told them makes you feel uncomfortable and it isn’t overly emotional to get angry when they can’t understand why you feel that way, especially when you try to talk to them calmly about it. Shannon: beware defensive reactions! Or excuses!
- “Your feelings aren’t valid.”
Some partners won’t openly say this, instead they will use phrases like, “you shouldn’t be so upset about it” or “it isn’t a big deal”. But it is a big deal and you are allowed to be upset about it. You see, by taking away your feelings, it removes any guilt on their part which allows them to continue being an ass and not consider how their actions will affect you. The main things toxic partners want is to be in control and get away with treating you badly so by saying you shouldn’t feel the way you do, or dismissing your views and feelings, relieves them of feeling guilty for it. But no one can be mad at you for feeling a certain way; no one can take your feelings away from you.
- “I didn’t say that.”
Toxic partners spin webs. They will say one thing during an argument or when trying get out of something and then will go back on it later when you call them out on it. They will claim they never said that, you heard it wrong. You obviously weren’t listening. You imagined it. Again, it’s about control. Unless you record a conversation or argument, it’s their word against yours and they’re adamant you are wrong.You will question yourself, you will wonder if they didn’t say that at all. It’s another way for you to lose your foundation during an argument because you’re so busy trying to work out if they’re right. If they claim they didn’t say it, you have no leg to stand on. You start to question your own sanity!
- “I can’t do anything right.”
Playing the victim means you will feel sorry for them and go to their rescue, suddenly, you don’t want to fight anymore. You will realize you were being unreasonable and apologize for trying to start an argument. Shannon: but there is a breaking point when it plays out too often, and resentment will turn you into a shriveled mess! The worst narcissists can go back to their childhood if necessary to explain why they are so hard done by, blame their families, upbringing and ex’es …..it means they are not only bad problem solvers, they feel the world must forgive them and allow them to bahave like toddlers (see our article on ADULTS BEHAVING LIKE TODDLERS) because a toddler does not problem solving capacity – throwing a tantrum works! Usually when the toxic partner feelings backed into a corner when they know they have done wrong, they will play the sympathy card. They don’t have many friends in town these days so they had to hang out with their ex. That person they talking to on line was a set up by someone playing a joke on you. They didn’t mean to hide their phone or accidently deleted all the stuff there! They talk to others outside of your earshot! They were just being friendly by talking to their co-worker until 3am without telling you because they’re a nice person. Why don’t you want your boyfriend to be a nice person? They are just trying to have interests outside of your relationship because they don’t want to smother you. Why can’t you see that? Why can’t you see they all good fellas?
- “You never trust me.”
Sure, they only cheated on you once. Sure, you only found texts to other girls a couple of times but they’ve been ‘good’ recently. They’ve remained loyal so why when they act shady, do you not believe them? Not feeling able to trust someone after they have constantly broken that trust is only natural. And expecting you to immediately trust them again is unfair. Rebuilding trust takes time. But by them blaming you for having trust issues (which they caused) means it becomes about you and your issues and insecurities rather than the fact they weren’t able to be a decent boyfriend. Suddenly the argument becomes about your lack of trust, your insecurities, your doubts and not what they have done.
- “But you did this.”
They may have been Facebook messaging that girl you said you don’t like, but last year you had a text from your ex you didn’t respond to or you or you told a white lie about something which ultimately wouldn’t have impacted your relationship, but you were open about it, so what cooks here?. But if you’re not perfect either then why are you having a go at them? You are to blame! You have made mistakes too so it doesn’t matter that they lied to you about that night out with the lads or whose number that really was that kept calling late at night. It’s the blame game. Nothing gets solved because they are too preoccupied with scoring points, even if it means making up situations.
- “You’re the most anxious person I have ever dated.”
Loving guys do not compare you to their exes. Especially negatively. Especially during an argument. Especially over something you are already worried about. If they decide to tell you that you are the most anxious or paranoid or insecure person they have dated, get out of there. If someone loves you, they lift you up and support you. They love you, anxieties and insecurities included. They honour you!
- “I didn’t lie; I told you when you asked me.”
There is a huge difference between someone choosing to tell you something and you having to pry it out of them. Sure, they eventually told you but it doesn’t count if you had to repeatedly ask them. However, when you get mad they can claim ‘but I told you about it’ and they cannot seem to understand that them not openly telling you in the first place means they wanted to conceal it. Lying is withholding the truth and choosing not to tell you about something until you pretty much beat it out of them is a lie. Sorry.
- “I’m going to sleep.”
I don’t know anyone who likes going to sleep on an argument. But if a guy can roll over and go to sleep when you are crying or angry, he does not give a shit about you. It’s another way he gets to control the situation, he gets to let you stew over it for hours and not get any sleep and then he will expect you to carry on as normal the next day when nothing has been resolved. It doesn’t matter how long it takes, if he cares he should want you to be able to sleep and to feel reassured and cared for and have whatever it is talked through. If he can easily fall asleep when you’re hurting, he’s not a good guy or worth a sleepless night. Shannon: my mother always told me “never go to sleep without resolving your issues with your loved ones” and it good advice! Even if you agree to disagree, make friends and love each other, you can discuss it calmly tomorrow, but punishing body language is cruel.
- “I’m not willing to be in a relationship with someone who ____.”
A loving relationship does not have ultimatums. It doesn’t matter how heated an argument gets, he should not result to telling you if you don’t change, he will break up with you. It’s his way of making you believe that everything that is wrong about the relationship is your fault and that you are the only one who needs to change your behaviour. The likelihood is, he’s projecting his own downfalls on to you because it’s too hard for him to see flaws within himself. If he gives you an ultimatum, walk away.
[/expander_maker] Perfect PartnersI think that you are placed into peoples lives for a reason
My dear Shannon, I think that you are placed into peoples lives for a reason. Sometimes I wonder how I got so lucky and what I have done to deserve a friend like you. People have come and gone out of my life, but for some reason you never left. Your friendship is one of the greatest gifts I have ever received. You always have time, you always care. [expander_maker id=”1″ more=”Read more” less=”Read less”] I could write a book about the positive affect you have had on my life. Your heart is of the purest that I have ever known and I felt your spirit the second I met you. Your energy and smile radiates and love and compassion that you show for others is special. I am so grateful to be affected and influenced by you. I hope that one day I can be half of the person that you are. You believed in me when I didn’t believe in myself. You loved me when I was hard to love. You listened to me when I didn’t have a voice and let me cry when I was broken. But most importantly, you never give up on me. That is special. You know me to my core. You know what makes me smile and what ticks me off. You can tell in an instant when I am upset and then continue to do everything in your power to make me feel better. If I am going through something, you are the first person to text me to make sure I am okay. When my confidence lags, you reassure me of myself. I have never had a bad moment with you. You fill my life with an immense amount of happiness and love. I know that wherever life takes us, you will be part of my life. If we don’t talk for some time, we pick up right where we left off. Whenever I need you, I know you will always be there. You are the epitome of a beautiful human being. I hope that every person in this world has someone like you in their lives. Shannon, you are the best!
Fond regards BJ
[/expander_maker] Perfect PartnersA VERY HAPPY MEMBER – finding her feet!
My dearest Shannon, I truly appreciate your comforting reply and the time you dedicated to me. Thanks so much for explaining so many things I never thought important – dating is not easy but you have made it such a friendly, safe and pleasurable experience!! I am enjoying meeting your truly eligible bachelors, guys who would NEVER have crossed my path in a lifetime if it was not for you!! [expander_maker id=”1″ more=”Read more” less=”Read less”] I love being sociable again and do not feel invisible and that my life is just a boring treadmill (and no more wasting time online dating) and I know now love will find me when the time is right! Your insight and understanding make me feel I am in good hands. You are very honest and I believe what you say, change the person and the circumstances will change! I am sure you have a very challenging job, but you handle it extremely well. I cannot imagine how you take care of every culture, religion, personality types and age groups, and you certainly have a gift. You do sell “people to people” and not one person is the same ……there surely is no other industry with so much diversity and individual needs! Thank you for your kind words.
Fond regards AK
Jul 19, 2017
You rock!! you really are special dearest AK, and we are loving working with and for you!! There are never any problems, only solutions …….and yes, sometimes I have to say it like it is and it makes my heart cringe as the last thing I ever want is being perceived as uncaring …..I do care HUGELY, and just a little intervention can make so many positive and wonderful things happen!! J I know as a coach my job is to make people feel safe and confident, but I can never play “emperor with no clothes” as telling people things to make them feel better that are not true, is deceiving them and an insult to their intelligence! Only when facing the truth can personal growth happen. I rather be dumped on – my shoulders are broad! LOL! Your wisdom and high EQ is impressive and I am humbled and appreciative you understand! Trust your matchmaker angel – we see the WHOLE bigger picture of every member, as every individual is a friend to us and we often can see potential others may not see – it is impossible to explain in words our instinct, residual knowledge, perceptions and GUT feel sometimes! You are going to find someone awesome – your energy is ‘clear’ and simple and you do not complicate things, you will be fine in this difficult matter of finding a lifetime investment of the heart! So much heartache and sorrow we see here daily – people seeking expert help eventually after making too many mistakes, and bad choices leading to huge trauma in their lives!! A reckless moment can lead to years of troubles!! So our motto is “prevention is better than cure!” …….we see many folk choose to meet based purely on looks and the chemistry rush……oh dear, then they only find out later they do not even really like the person …….after investing huge life force, time and heart quotient. I am glad you are meeting two of our most eligible bachelors ……we are always at your side! xxxxx
Fond Regards Shannon
[/expander_maker] Perfect PartnersA VERY HAPPY COUPLE!
Dear Shannon / Inge & Team I would like to express my sincere thanks and gratitude for activating a match between me and a finely selected “PERFECT PARTNER.” After much hesitation, trepidation, deliberation, and a few prompts and prods from your team asking me to please act upon the profile you sent me, and to respond to your emails, I decided to proceed. [expander_maker id=”1″ more=”Read more” less=”Read less”] We started off with telephonic conversations which would often span hours on end, well after midnight…..this continued for about a month ….before we decided to meet. Needless to say, as confident as I usually am, I was VERY nervous that day, kept wondering how to get through the first few minutes !!!! Well the first thing he showed me when I elegantly arrived, was a picture on his phone of what looked like a tortured specimen of some sort of alien……eerrr,mmmm , .which actually turned out to be his cat soaked in soap suds taking a bath, looking horrendously cute. That broke the ice I suppose, as I chuckled at how nervous we both were that we needed a sopping wet cat to come to photographic rescue ! We had a cocktail together and then proceeded to enjoy a fine meal. I was my normal self, confident yet maintaining my humility, no pretentiousness and made him feel relaxed and comfy. The content of our conversations were and still are varied, intelligent, current, interesting and encapsulated with respect and tolerance for each other’s views. The past is gone and never even worth a mention! Our future is full of “what next!?”.
Our ability to communicate seamlessly with such like-mindedness kept enticing us to keep the communication channels alive. I being an ambivert and he an introvert, has worked out perfectly, as we are both happy in ourselves and compliment and respect our unique qualities whilst celebrating the many things we enjoy in common. We have been together for the past 6 months and it has been nothing less than pure joy and a tantalising delight to the senses, to be in a relationship with a man who is so well grounded, mature, caring, gorgeous, someone who has crept into the crevices of my heart, has me smitten and I can confidently inform you that I have fallen in love with him. We have both been open about our mutual feelings for each other and the visible attraction and chemistry that exists between us. ( He also appreciates my petite little frame and that was one of the attracting factors for him. ) Not a day day goes by without us being in contact, whether it is a quick sms, or a little heartfelt emoji , a telephone call in between breaks or an endearing whatsapp ” thinking of my XXXXX” and my response ” I miss you my XXX” , the emotions that every interaction stirrs up is a feeling that I wish every one of your perfect partners could experience as much as we are. Thank you very much for such a perfect match. I truly love my new man ! We could not have done this without your deep caring help when needed and encouragement to fly and be brave! Also, to always be positive, because we attract what we put out …….my manifestations came true! Attached is a happy picture of us ! Keep up the good work and wishing you many more happy success stories such as ours.
With a heart full of gratitude DA
Jul 13, 2017
Hi again dear angel ….I know we have texted but I wanted to also email and say I am beyond thrilled and pleased for both of you, two people who are very precious to us, never complained and never bugged us, trusting and just waiting and knowing we would find you that ONE perfect match through a process of elimination and some trials……the LAST, hopefully for a lifetime!! You are both very beautiful people in and out!! Patience and belief in us paid off!! You make a stunning couple and your energy is palpable ….gorgeous photo…..we can see you are totally smitten with each other!! I must compliment you too – XXXX was never pretentious at all, but he always knew what he wanted and he never compromised, so well done on nabbing one of our most eligible Platinum bachelors ever!! We are very proud! And yes indeed, your taking care of your petite little frame and staying always naturally healthy and gorgeous won the day ……and your ladylike humility and fine mind had him at “hello”…the door was open to getting deeper into the soul. Please keep in touch!! Always in love and light, love to you both…..
Fond Regards Shannon
[/expander_maker] Perfect PartnersThe Irrational Fear of Being Alone
Hi Shannon, Inge and the PP Team,
Thank you thank you for this great read!!!!. Made my morning. I have only been a member for a few weeks and already I feel substance in being a member as you have held my hand over the first steps with warmth and compassion and I don’t feel like a “dating desperado” but a woman worthy of finding the right match, with a dignified recruiting service. [expander_maker id=”1″ more=”Read more” less=”Read less”] You always communicate and leave nothing to chance. You sure do get me and my needs too! I can truly see why you are rated the most professionals agency in the country, working with professionals …… I just had to share my take on the article. It feels like the writer was speaking to me- she articulated feelings like I would have expressed them on the journey to finding oneself. I was mortified of being alone after a 8 year relationship. But after almost 2 years of being alone, am liberated, peaceful and in the right mental space to welcome love and sunshine in my life. I know myself better and no longer feel that my identity is tied to another individual. I wish more people could have the courage to walk away from a relationship that doesn’t grow them. Fear is the strongest emotion of all in my humble opinion. It crippled me for 8 years. I’m truly happy to be with the PP family and pleased with the “soul food” you’re dishing to nourish us. Have a fabulous weekend Warmly Carol
Hi Carol THE IRRATIONAL FEAR OF BEING ALONE – RESEARCHED FOR YOU THIS WEEK! …a longish read but very good, even for the fundis! (We see clearly that members who read our stuff succeed far quicker than those who don’t! information is power!). …..nobody need ever be alone ……we are doing something about it! even if you are in a relationship, learn to avoid the cracks…… Happy Friday to all our esteemed perfect partners – old and new, and many old members have returned and many newbies are settling in, it promises action for all!! Finally we have some normal weeks ahead, and hope you also have some ‘me time’ for your own needs, remember, balance is key to a healthy and long life! we wish all our new happy couples a loving and thrilling new future – together forever! Many of our members are finding personal sessions with Bonita, Veronica and Thinus have helped tremendously!! Work on the “inner” with our coach ladies, and get the “outer” you have always wished for with Thinus – he guarantees success!! Again our mantra is, if you are not getting the action you hoped for, find the reason – we have the database and do everything we can to find your ideal (and real) and are eternally inviting new members in for all our benefit, because the next newbie may be YOUR match (and still sadly declining many that we know we cannot assist! These are often lovely people and need coaching first because they simply are not yet ready) – so do a little self-search on what you can do to improve outcomes, and work with us. Your attraction factor is your success factor – we cannot deliver love on a plate, being loveable gets you love in return. Days are getting cooler and nights longer, which bodes well for new romance!! We will be sending as many intros next week to everyone, if there are compatible matches!! Love and light then until next time, and please read hereunder ……even if you know it all, a refresh helps! We research tons of stuff every week …..and always try to save you time browsing, by giving you the best! Our comment in blue ….
Fond Regards Shannon
The Irrational Fear of Being Alone
By Susan Winter The fear of being alone is terrifying for most people I know. This paralyzing projection keeps many a couple trapped in a dysfunctional loop of unhappy relations. Though the reasons stated for not separating include children, loss of money or “it’s just not the right time,” at the core of this stasis is a fear of being alone. Someone, it seems, is better than no one.
The fear of being alone is an irrational construct. Alone doesn’t mean “lonely.” Yet, the false premise states that clinging to “another” for safety will somehow guarantee our safety. Security derived from an outer source is impossible. In the absence of our own self-love, we cannot connect to another in a meaningful way.
Staying in an unhappy partnership is viewed as being of greater value than honoring the self. It is fear. Projected fear. The loneliness imagined will only be experienced when not united with our selves. I’ve counseled many people on the merits of being comfortable in their own skin and finding peace within. While this is the answer, it’s astounding how much resistance is given to the concept. Many people just don’t have enough courage to love themselves! Even more reason to speak to one of our Love Gurus…… The reason for this resistance lies in outer identification. We’ve been told through movies, music and literature that we’re incomplete if we’re alone. Only the presence of “another” can alleviate the void we feel inside and make us feel whole. In actuality, we feel the void when we’re not aligned with ourselves. I
t’s folly. But still, the myth continues in the minds of far too many. How enticing the belief that someone else will be the balm to soothe us and the cure to our discontent? And how sad the realization that no one can provide solace for what we lack, inside. If you joined us hoping to find someone to complete you or rescue you, or be a trophy or conquest……….you need to rethink your goals! No outer force that can sooth inner discontent. In pressing our partner to do our work for us, they will certainly fail.Then, they become the problem. Our relationship becomes the problem. The love that was supposed to complete us becomes a battleground of conflicting wills as each holds the other’s happiness in their fickle hands. The fear of being alone is far greater than the real doing of it. Taking time to be alone with ourselves can be the greatest journey of a lifetime. The discovery of what we like, what we feel, what we want and who we really are is liberation at its finest. When actualized, one discovers the delight of a freedom far greater than imagined. After all, the worries and projected fears have passed, there comes the unexpected ah-ha moment — we are fine. Our former avoidance seems ridiculous in hindsight. There is peace and contentment. Then, joy. We realize we have ourselves as good company.
We begin to value the life we have…….and have far more to offer, a value add as a ‘whole person’ to a new love. We learn our fears of being alone were completely unfounded. We create a new platform from which love may grow. When we’ve worked through the fear of being alone, we may assess the validity of our existing partnership. With the pressure off our partner to save us, the relationship that seemed “dead” often finds new life. As we’ve changed, our partner must change in correspondence. From the point of inner connection, we may amend what we have or magnetize new suitors who also like themselves and like us. So many divorced people who join us tell us “I am divorced because he/she did not understand my needs…..” hmmmm, why were you needy in the first place? Why did you not simply ask nicely for what will please you, because your loved one sure as hell wants to please you!! Comfort within one’s self is the best starting point for a new relationship, or for a current love affair in peril. It’s the work that must be done by no one, but us. And, once done… is cherished as the edification of all that we are, and have now become. Unconditional love is born of tolerance, understanding, respect and giving ……..but some only take!
[/expander_maker] Perfect PartnersYou guys do an amazing job
Morning dear Shannon,
How is your long weekend going? Month end has come and now gone………..again J Thanks for asking about my beloved fur friends – dogs are amazing and they say if you want loyalty and a friend………………get a dog J There are so many tearful movies about dogs and their loyalty and one that comes to mind, is the Richard Gere movie set in Japan (can’t remember details) but when RG character died, his dog sat in the same spot in the town square for ages, waiting for his master to come home L J incredible!!! [expander_maker id=”1″ more=”Read more” less=”Read less”] A true story and so profound the story, the Mayor of the town erected a statue of the dog. Dealing with Mr. Public is tough and reading your newsletter, reminded me of when I was a Service Provider for Vodacom in 1994 for five years. It’s wild sometimes J You guys do an amazing job and I remain very impressed at the high calibre of ladies you have offered me in my 6 month spell so far – everyone a potential friend if not The One – and I know we are getting close!! My life has changed dynamically! I wish and hope your members appreciate how hard you work for us all, with such professional care and attention to detail. This is not like any other ‘dating service’ but more like being a member of an exclusive single’s friendship club, with you introducing all your friends to each other!! I do seriously consider you a friend!! When my helicopter is serviced, I plan to meet you all!
Short and sweet and merci bucket, MT
[/expander_maker] Perfect PartnersEXCELLENT ADVICE FROM SHANNON, MUCH APPRECIATED
From: FMF
Sent: 04 January 2017 11:01 PM
To: Perfect Partners Inc
Subject: EXCELLENT ADVICE FROM SHANNON, MUCH APPRECIATED
Dear Shannon Thank you so much for the email and the discussion yesterday, especially as you should be on leave. When I asked to discuss what had happened with XX and I, it was more to get advice and to have a sounding board – I find that dating can really make you doubt yourself sometimes! But in fact I got a whole lot more from you in terms of support and compassion which is what I needed after the very cold sms “cut-off”. [expander_maker id=”1″ more=”Read more” less=”Read less”] I thank you so much for that – the whole conversation was actually quite cathartic for me. I shared some of my minor issues with XX – not excessively so – but I take your point that this could be an issue for him and I need to be more mindful of this given where he is in his life right now. But if he is looking for perfection in me or our relationship, he will not find it…..we can only heed your advice and grow “into” our perfection as we go forward……… I appreciate your experience, guidance, kindness and enthusiasm for this, which is clearly more than just a job for you. You are really amazing and very astute, your ability to get the point quickly is a gift, as we soon had me laughing again, and now XX and I are back on track!
Warm regards FMF
[/expander_maker] Perfect PartnersSuccess story and a wedding in December 2016, single to soulmate!!
Hi dear RP and CM, (and all the ‘family’!) How wonderful to hear from you!! How time flies!! It is hard to believe CM and the three kitties are already fully installed – for keeps! What a fabulous journey it has been …..and I even think many ladies could be envious that RP was very sincere about moving heaven and earth to get his South African beauty, and it has happened, and I can ‘hear’ you are very much in love! CM will morph into a great USA citizen, with her sense of adventure and faith intact! [expander_maker id=”1″ more=”Read more” less=”Read less”] And living in Maine – could not be more perfect! I and the PP Team here wish you the most awesome of weddings on 10th December, we wish we could be there!! PLEASE send us photos! We are extremely fond of you and loved working with and for you – it has been a fabulous success story and will always be a very warm memory! Big hugs to CM, she is brilliant!! What a brave lady ……and a big kiss on the cheek from me dear RP, you are an extra- ordinary man! You knew your Ms. Right from day one! Much love and light for always, Fond Regards Shannon Dear all, and especially our wonderful Matchmakers, Perfect Partners! For 23 years, I lived alone in various parts of the world includng my 2013 move to mid-coast Maine. Now there are 7 living beings here in Harpswell, Maine, USA with 2 more on the way. My journey with Perfect partners was fabulous as I met stunning ladies…..and then my dream came true! The major addition was CM’s arrival in Boston from 10,000 miles away (JHB, SA) on Tuesday. The next night her 3 cats, Charlie, Roxy, and Lily arrived the after a 7 hour drive up here from JFK. Of course my adorable and extremely gentle bulldogs Yale and Kennedy have been now with me over a year. All is smooth so far, fingers crossed CM’s own very small dog Picasso will join us in the middle of next year, and her almost 18 year old son will be here for South African school holidays. He will arrive before the wedding and stay until almost New Years. Again we are both so happy at what seems to be a large positive response as to attending our Saturday Dec 10th wedding at UCONN. Also if any of you know a good photographer with a real camera, we may have a need for that.
Please be in touch any time you wish. We send our warmest to each of you, CM and RP
[/expander_maker] Perfect PartnersSpring has sprung for another great happy couple! …..a very happy story!
Hi Shannon Had dinner with KM last night, I can officially say this man is head over heels. He dotes over me and treats me with care and compliments, just so very, very nice! Best he has NOT pushed himself onto me at all from an intimacy point, that will come … He would like to introduce me to his friends at a dinner on Friday. Then he has asked me to join him in Cape Town when he gets back from the overseas (leaving for 2 weeks on Sat for bus), he wants to introduce me to his two girls at varsity! [expander_maker id=”1″ more=”Read more” less=”Read less”] (That is always a big step when you meet the children, well it is for me!) He has also asked me to join him, his friends and children to his game farm in December before I go away. Then he has asked me to clear March and would like me to come with on a skiing trip in Switzerland. Well …. What can I say. He is dying to meet my two girls, and my precious grandchildren, I made it abundantly clear that my tiny little family means everything to me, he loved that. We chatted a hind leg of a donkey! He treats me 100% like a lady and is certainly hunting big time. All and all it looks like I have turned the corner, and certainly looks like I might be on the eve of a new beginning, now I know what you mean by real transformation, everything has changed, and I was ready after all my duds and practice even. Thank you so very, very much for your patience, loving support, motivation and steadfast determination to find the right guys, you are very caring and professional matchmakers, and also friends. I think it works out to 25 frogs I couldn’t kiss …..… but they were all fabulous charming men of the best calibre. (Except the lawyer from Pretoria, he was creepy) Regards and very best wishes! BF
Oct 6,2016
Wow dear BF, this is just the best ever news!! It sounds divine – what a man!! Long term plans into next year is music to my ears!! You are going to really be happy! The best part is all the family involvement – that is a huge step in the right direction! Enjoy every precious moment and look after yourselves and each other – the gift of love is worth more than anything in the world as you know how ‘aloneness’ can eat at the soul despite all life’s rewards! You deserve love! I truly believe things happen as they should, it is all about timing, and it was your time – and certainly not for lack of trying!! SEE! It happens, it takes just one perfect match! Thanks for the compliments though that all our guys you met were great and real gentleman, that is for sure, just sadly not meant for you ….but ONE was and now you are a very happy and lovely lady!! We have always been very proud to present you out there, with dedication to our cause!! PLEASE keep us posted and we wish you much love and light, for always! xx
Fond Regards Shannon
[/expander_maker] Perfect PartnersCompliment – You are very Professional Matchmakers!
I am very impressed with the personal attention I have consistently been receiving from you all and the general high standards. Being in the service industry myself, I know what it takes and how difficult it is to keep up at times so please extend the compliment to everyone else as well at PP. [expander_maker id=”1″ more=”Read more” less=”Read less”] I have recommended you whenever the topic of conversation has come up. You are very rare people, you really care and you have made a huge difference for me in many ways, your hands-on support is invaluable.
Much appreciated
GL
SHARING THE GRIEF OF LOVE LOS. A beautiful true story, although very sad!
This week we share a beautiful love story, and from it there is some inspiring message of hope and also a reminder that life is too short to waste! We do grieve and mourn here when we lose someone…….you may not realise it but we care about every one of our members!
[expander_maker id=”1″ more=”Read more” less=”Read less”]About four years ago we had a great success story, Ms. X 40, and Mr. Y 48 (for confidentiality sake we do not mention names) and it was a perfect match, they were totally in love and often we heard from them on all their awesome moments and adventures…..until we heard the terrible news that she came home from work one day to find him dead in his chair, a warm coffee cup besides him and the TV on his favourite sport. A perfectly healthy man who gymmed every day, never smoked or drank much or lived dangerously – just gone in a wink from a heart attack! He was in the prime of his life! It was the anniversary of his passing on 21st April and Ms. X sent us the most awesome dedication to her beloved, and it really touched our hearts. In her own words below in response to our condolences:
“Thank you Shannon, your kind words are most inspiring and encouraging. I dont know that I could ever love like this again – I have had too much pain in my life – too many knocks. I waited my whole adult life for this love, this perfect, amazing man. I gave and received 200%. I loved him more than my own life. We were the perfect couple, fitted together hand in glove, thanks to your expert matching and guidance in the early days to give it a chance when we weren’t sure – it was soon a dream come true. It has not gotten any easier with time and I cannot possibly love that way again. I am not ready to start over as he will be the one I love more than life itself. “
So we remind ourselves we do not know for whom the bell tolls …….live and love every day as if it were your last, is not just a cliché……because we only have the present and we havetomorrow, the past can never be brought back except in good memories that can sustain us as we head out ‘alone’ once more. We encourage all our precious members to allow love to find you – it is not the person’s “look”, or their wealth or lack of it, nor their social standing or their achievements and assets, it is purely the beauty of loving, and heart intelligence that can make real love happen between two sincere people – never intellectualise or over think a potential relationship, (does age really matter? Do the little habits and rituals we have make a difference?) give everyone we propose a chance, and rather hone your instincts and follow your heart when the time is right, and leave the door open so love can find you. It proves our point here that we got another email this week from another member who said she is going to explore a new relationship – despite not her ‘type nor my look’ she said, she cannot ignore the huge magnetism and overwhelming chemistry – who would have thought! She is so pleased she gave it a chance!
Bottom line – true love cannot be engineered, manipulated or bought (leave the ‘agendas’ out of the picture too) it is truly a heaven sent gift for the human species, if they allow it to happen! So off we go, seeking on your behalf as always, and hoping that new intros turn out to be magical for you all in the weeks ahead! Don’t give up because we sure do not – you all are fabulous folk and there is someone out there for YOU!
We are more driven than you know to find each one of you a perfect partner!! Your time will come …….be your best, be ready, and if you are not, work on it!
Much love and light until next time …..
Shannon and the PP Team
[/expander_maker] Perfect PartnersTheresa, now non-dating as she is in an AWESOME relationship! wow!
You make me laugh as always!
Its been so so super having you by my side for the last year…. That in itself was extremely supportive… just knowing that you were looking out for me.
Much love
T
Awesome dear Theresa ……indeed, it was serendipitous! It was your time! How utterly fabulous and so exciting, we are so very pleased for you – your new man sounds like one in a million, and it must have been hard for him out there to find someone like you that is so on the same level …..we are so pleased we could help……..you are going to be fine! I love a happy story and magic ending – may you truly be very happy into eternity! You sound perfect for each other! The universe knows ……maybe you had to complete your ‘journey’ of Self first, until the angels knew you were ready!
Much love and light and it has been so awesome working for you, we humbly accept any little gratitude that we may have made a tiny difference, even if it was in learning what you did NOT want!
xxxxx
Fond Regards
Shannon
Hi Shannon!
OMG… what a whirlwind J
I have met my man….. fit, active, super strong, highly intelligent, SUPER intuitive… an empath!!…. fun, gorgeous, a doctor (chiropractor), world travelled with risk management in the health industry! And loves all the sports I do……..just sooooo me and everything I have ever looked for! A strong and sensitive man who is so in touch with his stuff, it puts me to shame!
I have had the most fabulous 4 weeks. It was absolutely our time – a real serendipitous meeting – I was eventually ready for a man like this.
As you can tell – I am over the moon – without any attachment to where this may end up, I am thoroughly enjoying every single moment.
Thank you for all your wonderful help and support…..
Keep well – much love
Theresa
HUGE SUCCESS WITH DATE COACH AND NEW IMAGE
Hi Inge, Shannon and Veronica,
I trust you are well.
I am doing great! I need to compliment you an excellent professional match making service, a really warm, friendly and safe environment and human contact always at hand if I have a wobble!
Inge, your step by step guidance helped me overcome fear, the more I learnt about how this works, the more confident I became. You are a fabulous matchmaker!
Also, your guidance on my “dating image” was incredibly helpful as I now see myself quite differently – my confidence has grown with my improved “looks”! Why did I not bother to look my best before? Perhaps I cared more about everyone else and neglected myself! My new image and make-over took 2 days, and changed my life and it was such fun…..your guidance on what eligible bachelors really like in a lady, opened my eyes. Silly, but I feel I could “date myself” now I like myself so much more! LOL! [expander_maker id=”1″ more=”Read more” less=”Read less”]
I had a session with Veronica yesterday with another tomorrow.
I have had such deep and powerful shifts in my life as a result and I will be eternally grateful to you and Shannon for introducing her me.
These shifts have not just opened me up to men but have also shifted in my son and my people at work. It is true what you all said, I am a magnet now for others and my warmer and friendlier me means others “see” me now!
Thank you again for the intro and for helping in my journey to healing and to be in a position to receive love for the first time in my life.
I am excited for what the future holds and understand there is indeed a lid for every pot, and I accept I may not please everyone always, but those that are attracted by me, will certainly value me for who I am!
My best wishes and keep up the good work for all those singles dating and seeking out there, they really need this professional dating service!
Jennifer-Anne
[/expander_maker]
Perfect Partners
THE TRUTH WILL SET YOU FREE, BUT FIRST IT WILL P*SS YOU OFF!! YOUR MATCH MAKER WANTS YOU TO SUCCEED!
Good morning Shannon,
I hope you are doing fantastic
Thank you for another very informative and enjoyable newsletter………and yes, the truth is sometimes hard to swallow but if people are not getting the successful outcomes they expected, then someone has to help them with the HOW, WHAT and WHEN to up their game on a scale of 1 – 10, and we all do need constructive critique at times! [expander_maker id=”1″ more=”Read more” less=”Read less”]
I think members who take your articles “personally” really have to do some soul searching, look at their self-image and they will find that the articles can only assist to look at our hopes and dreams in a very different light… not an easy exercise but certainly necessary, no soul mate is going to drop out the sky … and I know for myself, I have loved your guidance and my dating experiences have hugely improved and still going strong. I am even about to renew my contract as I feel you are ALL SUCH A GREAT SUPPORT SYSTEM AND PART OF MY LIFE!
Please supply me with the lady that does the profile pics again…….. thanks a mil J
Also please look at my profile info and give me some feedback whether I have enough details needed to portray me as a person and someone that are looking for that Mr. Right and a long term fulfilling relationship……so we can give this another twirl. I have been doing corporate doing for some time before joining you, and honestly, there is NOBODY and nothing nearly as expert, kind and caring as you guys – truly professionals match makers.
Us executives dating out there also need assurance we are safe as we have much to lose if we associate with the wrong people who may have nefarious agendas. I have learnt so much as a woman seeking a man, and that means the right man (and you have introduced me to awesome guys for sure, I just was not truly ready) and my whole “defensive attitude” has changed, and I can own it, I was doing it wrong. There are wonderful men out there!
Have a brilliant Monday and wishing you lots of blessings xxxxxx
Kind Regards
Jane
[/expander_maker] Perfect PartnersYou truly are my soldiers of love!
Hi Shannon
I am so sorry, I have only just read your email. Thank you so much for taking the time to write to me, I truly appreciate it. Firstly, thanks for being such a professional matchmaker! Your personal singles introductions are truly the best!
I have told Allan already and I thought it better to do so as he was really making an effort, texting last night and this morning and he is such a nice man, there honestly was no spark there for me at all and I am so bad at pretending. [expander_maker id=”1″ more=”Read more” less=”Read less”]I also know that he would not have just wanted to be friends 🙂 sadly he is not my perfect partner despite it being an expert match.
I have realised that I dont know what I want or need in a man and maybe I need to figure this out first which is why I have decided to put this on hold for a month or so while I go figure out what it is really want from love and men. I also still seem to hurt too easily 🙂 I thought I was going to be able to “play the field” a bit and find out what I want but feelings are involved and I dont know how to handle that part. I thought dating in this day and age was easy! I may be an executive single lady but I realise how much I need a professional matchmaker NOW TO HELP WITH A DATING GAME PLAN.
I thought I was doing well with John and Allan but truly had no idea that John thought I was only seeing or chatting to him and not settling, we were not even on the same page yet! 🙂 I apologise if I have negatively impacted on PP by telling John myself but perhaps if you just confirm with him what I have told you, he will at least know it is the truth, and you can send him more ideal matches. He asked me, when we were out on our date, what my perfect match would be and I told him that I had no idea.
Maybe when I start again I should look at doing some relationship coaching. I struggle with the grey areas of life and dating definitely is a grey area for me. Amazing how we can get to this age and still be so seemingly incapable of understanding each other or communicating effectively with each other. Dating sites are a waste of time as you do not really know who your perfect match is until too late, singles only social clubs are a bunch of losers! My friends think a guy is awesome – but they haven’t seen him in a romantic context, they are lousy at matchmaking! I truly value your slow and methodical professional singles introductions to screened and profiled guys.
Thank you again Shannon, I am sure you must have your hands full with all of us oh so very mature teenagers! 🙂 🙂
Much love and light to you.
Andrea
xxx
2nd March 2018
Hi dear Andrea,
I meditated on your email and have really so much to encourage you with ……..but the bad news is you will not possibly resolve this vortex you find yourself in if you go off the radar and wait!! You can only learn to ride the horse if you stay in the saddle! Best to start now, at a leisurely pace …….see below….. (and you are not alone, explained hereunder). There is excellent help we can provide in getting you dating executive singles!!
I can share this with you – until my experiences through PP I only realised over 50 what it is all about! Bwahahahahahaha!! I practiced on 3 husbands after all (may they rest in peace) and many flames…..and finally my best ever friend who stood by me while I went through two marriages, came back into my life and taught me how very simple it all is!! it was all about VALUES!! I had the right values like honesty, truthfulness, dedication to what I did, warm and giving blah blah…(maybe tooooo much, maybe I WAS a people pleaser too!)…..but they were hidden under a coat of (shiny) armour hiding a fearful façade ….. from designer clothes to false friends to the high living lifestyle, maybe even vanity and ego!! I was using the wrong things to get approval and find attraction because I thought that was what was needed, comparing myself to “others” who seemed to have it all. No wonder I never found my perfect match! I can write a book!! The quality of my lifestyle has not changed, but my entire value system recognises my abundance now! And I have love….true love! We are a perfect match!
We may never mature, and we may stay teenagers forever, nothing wrong with that angel, because we encourage everyone to keep “their inner child alive” ……..that child could be awed, dazzled, learn new things, had no fear and was not tarnished by life’s disappointments, with naïve belief the world was good, that people are nice to us, that fairness is standard, and love easily found! Then the Hard Knock Café becomes our “space” and we get cynical. Corporate dating is a niche world, despite all the achievements, everyone is still human and vulnerable.
So never lose your inner child – you have something very special and that is why John so over-reacted!! And Allan is really keen!! And I promise, other guys would have loved you for who you are too, given a chance…….if you had your game plan waxed!! J Start fixing at a cellular level! We are your professional matchmakers and will find the best potential!
So many people fret “what is wrong with me, have I lost some heart/brain cells? Will love ever find me?”…where is my soul mate…..and true, they do not know what being loveable is or what they want/need….or how to recognise love when it knocks on the door…….and they end up with a therapist…..and millions of hours and bucks later are often more confused!! (necessary if there is a real psychological pathology….but you are not in this group! You are fabulous! J).
(I don’t know if you read my weekly articles – or were here already yet when I sent out the one on “some people are incapable of love?” …..truly worth reading as it also earmarks co-dependency and narcissistic traits). I can resend!
Just to mention…….it comes as quite a surprise to many single ladies that men are truly capable of adoring, worshipping and loving them unconditionally in this “false truth” decade/era……..especially once they join us!! The mavericks quickly settle in and TRUST then they can invest in a lady they are attracted to again (after their own hard knocks and disappointments)……..then the disappointment, the ladies didn’t know it, the guys are ready to love but the ladies have no idea what they throwing away!
They don’t GET IT! Single society in general lives the farce of instant gratification …..wine/dine me, ravish me then we can all move on (you were not going to stay anyway, so wé!)…or “what is in it for me, now!!”…….with no long-term goal, because life moves too quickly and we live in a throw-away world! (us women are IMPRINTED by the past love-loss, that we are disposable, NO!!!)……let’s take back our power, with hugs and kisses and the feminine goddess we all have within – let her shine! We must have patience and staying power to transformation can happen.
Please know you have NOT let us down …..in fact, you are still an asset on the way to being even a better one! J John respects you even more for being honest …..he gets livid when the above scenario plays out and he is not taken seriously when he was starting to “invest” his gentle heart…….and Allan, same thing (he was very keen), well I will offer a shoulder ….if he needs! Honestly, a bit of ego here if he thought you were falling so quickly……no Allan, much more input needed, but thanks for being so open with your heart! Maybe he learnt something …….you were not one of those to fall into his arms …..yet……J
Love and light as always sweetheart!! Here for you whichever way you choose ……your soldiers of love!
BIG HUGS!!
Fond Regards
Shannon
[/expander_maker] Perfect PartnersA very happy member reports!
Hi Shannon,
I want to tell you how much you have changed my life – a new me, better health and even a love interest! I am determined to keep his interest HOT! I know I stand a better chance if I improve my shape too. [expander_maker id=”1″ more=”Read more” less=”Read less”]
Hey, practice what you preach! LOL! Go for it if you need to lose a few kgs, and do your Kata! You encouraged me so awesomely that time of the match… It’s hard and carbs are the worst, but taste the best, I sympathise with you now. If one can stay focused, it takes 3 weeks to break a habit, then it goes better… I’ve kick started karate again, on a mission now to complete and get my 3rd Dan and lost 5kgs already, I feel fantastic. It’s just my favourite sport and doing a Kata is beautiful!
Hope you have a good evening and don’t have to work too late.
Thanks always and always for your encouraging messages. I really and honestly feel so looked after, safe & hopeful – I know you care and you are the best matchmaker around and even a friend now! I know you will always support me too! Dating sites sucked! I will never go there again! Your calibre of professional men is unbelievable – I thought there were none left on the planet!
Fond wishes,
Angel
[/expander_maker] Perfect PartnersA new member joins Perfect Partners and is very impressed at the process!
Hi Shannon
Many thanks, I am looking forward to the experience, albeit a bit nervous You guys have me so comfortable, the interview was very friendly and caring with tons of gentle guidance, and I do not feel alone anymore, knowing I have guys like you behind me, always a friendly call away! It is comforting to know there is a truly professional matchmaker in our country, I am just sorry I took so long to do this!
Regards
Sally
Feb 25, 2018
Hi dear Sally,
Thanks so much for enquiry and lovely profile, and I do believe you and Inge are chatting, so I am just introducing myself! We love your profile – you sound exactly like the kind of lady our professional, stable and yummy bachelors seek (they are also not desperate but love our recruitment and personal introduction process as they also want the best ‘love investment’ for a lasting love story) so you are in good company! On the contrary, our kinda guys are NOT intimidated by independent and strong ladies – this is actually what they seek, as long as they are feminine and not using ‘masculine power’ and are bullies or bossy ……..this info we will be sharing and it is quite an eye opener what truly good guys want! Feminine power is awesome – the very seat of nurturing our species, so they admire this in a lady …….they just do not want to date a ‘buddy’ who competes on their territory like a male.
Enjoy your interaction with Inge …..we are process driven and have been acclaimed as the elite matchmakers in the country, with some 12 years experience and thousands of happy couples on our books (or rather, off our books! LoL). She will explain all the processes, the next steps and look after you well. We take responsibility for all our actions and work with, and for you!
Much love and light,
Fond Regards
Shannon
CEO/Matchmaker/Coach (specialising in the single dyamic at all levels for the individual needs, ‘date ready’ preparation, your hands-on, expert prfilers – always a call away!).
[/expander_maker] Perfect PartnersThe right moment is now!
Good Morning Shannon
I am sending you the best and biggest virtual hug I can conjure up this morning. Thank you for your most beautiful words, empathy and advice. What a journey you is! I agree, why wait! Having had these few days without male attention again forces me to acknowledge that I do want to love and be loved so hey, I need to find out how to do this again!! I love learning and I am currently doing a life coaching course myself and so I understand you when you say it is about “values” and I have been questioning mine for a while now in an attempt to understand myself better. [expander_maker id=”1″ more=”Read more” less=”Read less”] I realise though that when it comes to relationships I am so confused as to what my values are, especially in this phase of my life! I am going to contact Veronica this morning and get going. Have the most beautiful day.
Much love and light to you
Xxxx
Verona
23rd Feb. 2018
Ahhhh my darling Verona, I have tears in my eyes, dinkum!! A HUGE virtual hug back!!
I so know where you are coming from, been there myself, and there was no help, I was not a basket case that needed a shrink……I had to learn the hard way!! When I became an accredited coach it helped me “arrange” my thoughts and with the help of my colleagues and friends who are also coaches, I quickly caught up and all my experiences in life and love came together….…if only I was only 50 years old now to benefit more from my deepest insights!!
BUT, I believe God and the universe meant for me to be here where I am now, helping my sistas and other women who have gone through these agonising moments!! J It truly is my karmic calling ….hee hee, maybe my “give back” to evolve to a new level for the next life is my purpose, and repair what I messed up in the past life! J I sure as hell want to come back next time much smarter!! LOL!!
Even though a coach myself, I find I definitely need neutral help from experts like Veronica and Katie, one cannot be the chef and the gourmet diner! I have alerted Veronica you will be calling – you will love her too!
Veronica would love to hear from you – ……….jump to it soonest, you can truly find what you seek when you know YOU better, and what you really want! You are so lovely, and it is not for nothing you are so popular!! Men crave to meet women like you …….I will expand on this in my newsletter!
I am hugely relieved, because we all know “waiting until later” is procrastination……which is fear of failing!! If you were shallow and plastic, I would have just bowed to your choices, and waited then. LOVE YOU!!
I am so inspired I think my newsletter today will be about this finding love thing, dedicated to you (no mention of names), from a different perspective, not an article, but more a question and answer session – with a situation similar to yours!
Tons of love and light for a Fabulous Friday!!
xxxxxx
Fond Regards
Shannon
[/expander_maker] Perfect PartnersVery happy with coaching service! Thanks Veronica!
Hi Veronica
Thank you for our session yesterday. You have affirmed that I am on the right track to look for my own special friend and hopefully to find love again. I feel more confident about presenting the best of me (photo shoot today!) and actively looking out for potential partners, even among the friends I have had for years or the men I come into contact with through work, though I do of course hope that Perfect Partners will find “the one”! My experience so far has been great – your whole team of matchmakers has made a big difference to my views on the business of find love again. [expander_maker id=”1″ more=”Read more” less=”Read less”]You do a wonderful job and must help so many people. Very special. I now realise this takes a dating strategy and is not a hit-and-miss, even though you are my matchmakers, I need to check out every “potential” that crosses my path – I have been hiding for too long! It is true I need to let “others” know I am available and not wait in my ivory tower. Many thanks, Catherine
[/expander_maker] Perfect PartnersWelcome to a very special bachelor!
THANKS FOR RESTORING MY BELIEF – I AM READY TO FIND LOVE AGAIN!
Hi dear Shannon and Inge,
Thank you so much for the sensitive way in which you have dealt with me over the past ten days and your dedication and patience – I was very nervous and sceptical and almost ready to give up on ever finding a genuine lady who just wants a guy to love her and give her everything he can and who can appreciate love as a divine gift, such a simple and natural necessity in our existence – for what else is the purpose of working so hard and being a better person when you have nobody to share it with? I have been so let down recently, finding ladies only see the material things and are so uncaring and selfish, I am not a robot but a very warm hearted guy. [expander_maker id=”1″ more=”Read more” less=”Read less”] I am highly respected at the highest level in my career, but overlooked as a just a man seeking a partner. I feel like something is wrong with ME! You have restored my confidence and now realise I have been looking in the wrong places and too eager to please making me look needy (now understand I am allowed my boundaries too, life is a two-way street afterall) so am joining now as a Diamond Member because I believe investing in your services means in return you will invest in me, and so far you have done more for me than anyone else on a personal level in years! I do feel very safe and now looking forward to my new adventure in the world of dating! You guys are tuly professional matchmakers with plenty of heart!
Fond regards Allan
06 Feb. 2018
Hi there dear Allan, thank you so much for the time spent chatting to Inge – you have made a really good impression and you really touched her heart and mine – we hear this often from really successful singles and it is a sad fact you guys become a target for other’s evil agendas and often are exploited and used, so we truly understand!! We understand that many ladies too are disillusioned and think men in general are shallow, and this perpetuates the cycle of living without real meaning – and yes, what is life/achievement without sharing with someone who cares? Precisely why we are here!! We provide both a safe and friendly environment of likeminded singles with the same needs, dreams and views of a happy life shred with an adored and adoring partner. Even though us gals are empowered now (strong and independent) there is nothing like a fabulous strong arm to lean on through all life’s ups and downs. I have attached your invoice as requested, and look forward to bringing you into “the family” soonest and welcoming you on board! I would also love to make your acquaintance as we will be working closely on your strategy, and getting you prepared for your new adventure!! I have a few very workable ideas already! Can I call you this afternoon? Always in love and light then until later,
Fond Regards Shannon
[/expander_maker] Perfect PartnersThe busy-busy syndrom, FOMO, being too busy can be an excuse – you need to make time for yourself if you are dating!
Awesome dear Nic, coming from you we are very flattered you found this hitting the spot!! Thanks for reading our article on what men are really seeking, we do wish more ladies would take heed – we do know how busy you are so thanks for reading!! I also see you comment often how busy you are – it seems time does not favour you often (also the flurry with Vivienne on time keeping) and it does make me think and wonder to ask, do you put your foot down and draw your line in the sand when people are time vampires? [expander_maker id=”1″ more=”Read more” less=”Read less”]
Do you always wish to help and be there for them, at your own expense – because angel, you also need your sacred space in time! I recognise this trait in myself and force myself every day to try and say “later” …or “as soon as I can but not until…”..and prioritise or delegate, and actually, the world didn’t end if I attend first thing the next day or when needed!! I am driven to get it all done TODAY, NOW, this minute …….but actually, does it really make a difference? “Busy-ness” can also be a subconscious foil for fear of being forgotten, left out, missing out (FOMO), or appearing slack ….then we get lost in time and look disorganised…hee hee, so which is the best option? I do agree though if a rugby match is running over time, no WAY can you not watch the final minutes!! LOL!! a lady should forgive a man this transgression!! (But then is she runs late, it works both ways!) We have activated your latest date …..please do not call at “inappropriate” hour, like after 8pm, unless you text and explain you in a meeting whatever, and they happy with it!! also try to meet soonest …….long drawn out texts over more than a week get under a lady’s skin and you start falling from grace! J We understand not easy when you are a busy professional, but every positive move helps ..the sooner the better!!
Fond Regards Shannon
[/expander_maker] Perfect PartnersThank you! My life is transforming
Dear Shannon,
Thank you very much for the extended session this morning. I am so more confident now with meeting great worthy bachelors and I know I am worth a great catch! I am able now to keep an open mind, as my quotation says, and up for all challenges in the language of love. [expander_maker id=”1″ more=”Read more” less=”Read less”]
It was hugely insightful. You are an incredible date coach, you get to the point in the kindest way and our profiling is spot on – I trust you as my matchmaker with all my heart! I realise I have made many bad choices because I was attracted to the ‘wrong elements’, but I now have more depth.
I look forward to learning to put some of your suggestions and ideas into practice and working at it.
It is really great to have someone so committed, straight forward and honest to work beside me.
I know you will call me when you need to but more importantly guide and support me to develop my confidence and my tactics
Thank you for your incredible dedication.
With gratitude
Candy
Single and alone? It is never too late to start again!
Hi dear Wanda,
Ahhhhh, how I got immediate insight to your situation!! All my experience, insights and instincts just went “boom” into place! I just so understand your situation! I have been there! In fact after a divorce I remarried and then was widowed, so starting over twice has been one of my personal strengths! I wish I had a personal matchmaker back then to ‘recruit’ for me! [expander_maker id=”1″ more=”Read more” less=”Read less”]
When I retired from the corporate world in all things ‘human sciences’ I decided to start Perfect Partners with the goal, mainly, of helping others to start over by offering a professional matchmaking service with a human touch – a voice people can talk to. We are unlike any other dating site! I had experienced both times quite a shift in my social scene (my married friends seemed to disappear or were scarce) as I started out – my lifestyle was different and getting into a world of Singles was quite hairy! I had no shortage of suitors but felt very vulnerable! A sensitive matchmaking service to look out for me would have been very welcome! Some of them were quite an experience. I do enjoy my own time and company, but I realised I had to find my niche in this new world ……which I successfully did (I tried a few so-called elite single dating sites but it was awful) and now can happily profess that I am in a very wonderful relationship with a guy who is also my best friend! We still respect each other’s space and maintain our individuality (in fact we are chalk and cheese as he is quite the pedantic analyst and realist, while I am more the academic romantic) and we balance each other out, always interesting and never a dull moment as we approach things from different viewpoints but manage to come to the same outcomes!
I do recommend a no-obligation chat on how personal matchmaking works – we can explain that this new adventure is one of purely networking with a chosen (you get to choose from our prospects who have been relatively well screened as stable, healthy (mind, body and soul) and committed (no baggage, sad sacks or players or perverts) and normal selection of great guys – you are only making friends and opening new doors to possibilities! You only start ‘dating’ once there is mutual attraction).
Love will find you when the time is right and it is never predictable! I can see you are not needy, co-dependent or desperate (sorry, but these descriptors fit most singles out there, hence we are so careful who we sign up but we also help those that need our ‘date coaching’ to get passed these issues so they can confidently enjoy our matchmaking service) so making new friends just means a nice new dimension to your current life……at your pace and in your own time! Everyone who wants to try this matchmaking exercise seems to start with the final outcome in mind, envisioning (in panic) a sudden committed relationship with a new person invading your space, virtually a faceless stranger! LoL! That is flipping scary! Nope, it does not happen this way ….it is a slow process of just getting comfortable and can be hugely rewarding as it is such a gift to mix and mingle with new friends!
The norm is to receive one or too good matches a month, maybe even more depending on your own pace, so that you can spend time getting to know each other slowly. (All our protocols and strategies are in place after our brief ‘induction’ to settle you with your own plans). This is NOT like internet when you get a barrage of hundreds of hits from men clamouring and knocking you over! It is tasteful, selective and respectful……and fun! You would get a concise CV and current pics by email of every proposed intro, so you can ‘yay or nay’ right from your laptop, before even leaving your front door! We find that if two proposed intros both like each other’s profile and ask to meet, there is already a good spark of interest – so it is very comfortable. And yes, it gives a nervous zing and some butterflies, but that is what being alive is all about! (These profiles are anonymous enough that no guy could ever find you or know who you are directly! So you safe to just decline any intros!).
Soooooo, on this lovely cooler morning, here is a long read, but I feel it is my karmic duty to advise and try to assist! A brief orientation chat will explain more, then we can book the no-obligation telephone interview …….it highlights many subconscious thoughts (sifting the throw away ones and keeping the positives) and is quite self-determining – then you know for sure if you ready or not! I have a psychology background and specialise in the single dynamic, so we look carefully at everything.
I know you may still be grieving, but life goes one and transformation is a slow process, grief becomes good memories despite maybe a few hard knocks before, and new adventures and new friends are a pleasure! I do not know your age, but I am now in my sixties so I can assure you – I live a very full and rewarding life and I have the wisdom and luxury to choose what my priorities in life are! BLACH!!
I would to chat – please just give me a day/evening and time to call ……I predict we would have an interesting chat anyway!
Much love and light,
Fond Regards
Shannon
Jan 30, 2018
Hello Shannon,
Thanks for your mail and your concern.
I did receive your mail regarding costs, thank you for that. You are definitely very professional matchmakers as I have spoken to others and they are not nearly as caring as you!
I am just not sure right now about this whole dating thing. Although I am lonely at times, it has only been 17 months since my husband died and I am still toiling with the idea of meeting other men socially. I work with them all the time in business and don’t have a problem with that.
Will keep in touch.
Regards
Wanda
Advice required…..hmmmm, maybe …?????
Sent: 16 October 2017 10:28 PM
To: Perfect Partners Inc
Subject: Advice required…..hmmmm, maybe …?????
Thank you so much for the advice, it really has helped. He is private but has started sharing more with me, especially more personal things. As mentioned, he does spend most of his time with me and truly cares and is there for me and pays attention….so far a perfect match! [expander_maker id=”1″ more=”Read more” less=”Read less”] He has told me what his issues are and what he is dealing with which is a good sign I think and I’m pretty sure there are no secret wives haha For me there definitely is a deeper connection and so I think I’m going to hang on a little longer and see what happens.
Regards LM
Oct 17, 2017
Thanks dear lovely LM, we are so pleased to hear that then, finding love again is never easy – please give it your best and see where it goes!! SB is a very sincere guy and maybe not complicated, just internalises things and often this is just being cautious, which comes over to some as “closed” of even aloof! Still a great match! These personality types may ‘overthink’ some things, but the good thing is they are not reckless or unpredictable!! And one thing for sure, our dear SB has a high moral compass!! This means he really needs to trust as well ………so even if you think things are trivial, just share casually (not sounding like you need the male left brain “Mr. Fixit” which throws men into a panic if they don’t know the why or how!) so that he knows your thoughts and feelings …..share things that make you happy, and things that upset, tell him you just sharing an experience you had…..so that his barometer of where you are at is accurate! It sounds really great then dear LM, please keep us posted, and we wish you all of the best in your next dating experience! ……and something that always works is have FUN!! Men in general are not very inventive (and secretly like that their ladies come up with ideas, of course, as a mutual decision) or creative about fun things (they even think some things are frivolous) but bring that ray of light, humour and just enjoyment to your lives……..and sharing a laugh is the best medicine for everything! I predict you are more extrovert while he is more introvert (not lacking courage or confidence, but because of his cautious nature) and that is a great recipe for success!! Go for it! xxxx
Fond Regards Shannon
[/expander_maker] Perfect PartnersHappily married since 2011!
Hi Shannon I hope you and the Team are doing well and still doing a fine job with all the singles dating out there! It’s been 6 years and counting…since you introduced me to WB. I wonder if you remember…we met in 2010 and got married in 2011. We’ve been happily married ever since and we are very content and very much still in love! [expander_maker id=”1″ more=”Read more” less=”Read less”]
I remember how nervous and scared I was but thanks to your excellent professional matchmaking and guidance, it was so easy and natural, thanks goodness I never risked any dating sites! We are such a perfect match! It felt like you introduced me to one of your friends, and all very natural. We were part of your interracial dating service and fitted together so well. I would like to surprise W on our 6th year wedding anniversary 24 September 2017. I was wondering if you could send me a copy of both our profiles so that I can frame it as a gift. I really hope this is possible, as I know you regard all your clients personal information as highly confidential, he will be so delighted. We met November 2010 and married 24 September 2011. I highly recommend your matchmaking service to all my single friends and am proud to have been part of your exclusive network! Keep up the good work and we send all our blessings to all the singles out there seeking true love – everything is possible if you do it right.
Fond regards, GB
[/expander_maker] Perfect PartnersI find myself wanting to write to you, firstly to share my story and secondly to say an enormous thank you!!
Dear Perfect Partners I find myself wanting to write to you, firstly to share my story and secondly to say an enormous thank you!! Not necessarily in that order… I came across PP by default……… After the ending of a twenty year marriage, I spent ten years completely on my own. Well, that is not entirely true… I had the most incredible time with my children. We were and will always be the most fantastic team. [expander_maker id=”1″ more=”Read more” less=”Read less”] They, in fact, are the very best part of me and my life………………………………… forever and always. Yet, I found myself, from time to time, wondering what it would be like to meet someone and more importantly, if I would ever be blessed enough to fall in love again……. During the time on my own, I spent many, many hours thinking and reflecting and, yes, even acknowledging my part in the breakdown of what I thought would be my forever… Much introspection was accomplished. During that time, Match VIP, crossed my path, but although I met with Bonita, I never followed through. There is much to be said for being in the right space. During 2016, totally unexpectedly, someone came into my life. He was kind but extremely controlling, and I was to find out in a really hard and painful way that I had become involved with a true Narcissist. It shook me and I had some harsh realizations to work through… The hardest thing being that I was prepared to accept the way he treated me, rather than be on my own. It took a monumental effort to pick up the pieces of my life, again, and walk away. Round about the April of 2017 I decided that I had to move on and that I dearly wanted to have someone in my life that I could love… I tried to contact Bonita again – she put me in touch with PP. My story begins… It was very daunting for me…. Photographs, putting into words who and what I was about… not easy …. Alma was wonderful, and she has remained there to listen and guide and be my voice of reason when I was wobbling… I have met five incredibly amazing and awesome men through PP! You are perfectly honest about the great caliber of your fine bachelors! I never thought it possible after my own bad experiences trying it on my own. Each one a true legend in their own way…….. I am putting in names just because they are so worthy of being mentioned and not just a nameless coffee encounter… XXXXXX – a true gentleman…..this is where my confidence started growing! XXXXXXX …… Well, wish it was easier to put feelings into words and have the same effect! He is charming, funny, considerate and an amazing person to be with… He actually knocked my socks off… XXXXXX….. He has a voice that can melt an iceberg… I spent so many wonderful hours and days with him. He made me feel desirable and taught me that at 51, I could still give myself completely on an intimate level… He gave me confidence and belief in myself…………………………………………. XXXXX……………. I love his passion for his fluffy pawed kids. He is full of humour and charm. Would have loved getting to know him better… Finally and the best of all…. XXXXXX…… He has changed my life and my world… He makes me feel like no one else exists when we are together….. It is like time stops. He treats me with love and respect and I am so looking forward to our journey together…… He tells me how beautiful I am… How warm and gentle, soft and fluffy and perfect I am, too. Mostly, I just think he needs his eyes tested!! HaHa… His children are gorgeous and my children just want the best for me… We chat for hours and no matter my fears ( I tend to be a worrier ) he calms them …. He is so even tempered and treats people with respect … When I think of him I see a man of integrity. A family man who will always treat me like a princess….. He spoils me and remembers my favourite things …. even though I may only have briefly mentioned them… He loves that I believe in fairy tales and everything pink, fluffy and sparkly…. I want to make him happy…. I want him to know I will honour him and that he is my knight… that I will always have his back and that he can trust me… Shannon – thank u!! Thank you for the enormous amount of hours and care you put into helping us find our perfect partner…. Thank you for the hours you put into your weekly” words of wisdom…” I have learnt much… Your team are just the best! Alma – the very very best!! Thank you for being there and mailing me when I was falling apart over XXXXXXX… If you speak to him at any time, please tell him I thought he was not just the bees knees- but the whole jolly bee!! And that whenever I listen to Johnny Clegg, I can’t help but think of him and smile, hugely…… I have grown so much since joining PP- I ACTUALLY OWE YOU MORE THAN JUST A THANK YOU… I owe a bright, shiny and happy future to us all… I hope with all my heart that I will never need PP again- but I will stay in touch – your work is done!! Sending loads of pink fluffy love Your pink fluffy lady! XXXXXX
Sep 30, 2017
Hi dear S, What a fabulous email, and you really brought tears to our eyes!! We are so thrilled you found your perfect match and it sure does look for a lifetime journey of great happiness!! We must praise you too – you are a fabulous lady, you have looked after yourself (and do not knock yourself for being 51, you have kept up your good looks and figure and attitude) and in totally honesty, the MOST important thing is your gentle nature and humble ways, even though a highly educated and intelligent lady, you have never been self-important, conceited, opinionated – and never undersell yourself, you may be “pink and fluffy” because you are a gentle natured person and believe in love and moonbeams still, but you are no fool! The fact is you are every guy’s dream because you are just NORMAL and very special, without making any statements or demands. You are also aware of your shortcomings (we all have them angel!), which were quickly sorted through your willingness to accept our guidance!! We know you have truly found a most awesome and fabulous guy, and you will always be his queen! Thanks again for sharing, and we have blogged your story to inspire others seeking the real deal, to find love, and maybe use the services of a professional matchmaker who cares! And yes, it was nerve wracking getting through the interviews (the perfect way to really discover yourself too!) and getting good photos, but nothing in life is worth having unless you work for it! We love you lots and will always remember our lady who still believes in magic and fairy tales,
Fond Regards always, Shannon and Inge and Alma
[/expander_maker] Perfect PartnersA very excited Perfect Partner
Dear Shannon, I was invited by Pieter to visit him on his farm yesterday. This gave me a picture of the real Pieter, he has a lovely home and made a fabulous braai. We had a swim and spent quality time talking. He is so gentle and strong in the same sense and I felt safe. I can see a life together but still early days. [expander_maker id=”1″ more=”Read more” less=”Read less”] We are both cautiously optimistic. And I am showing it – had to take a sleeping tablet last night to get some sleep I was so excited (I feel my life has started over, which just goes to show, you are so right, we must never give up on ourselves – I thought there were no good men left). He is more than what I have prayed about. He will also phone you if he has not yet as he also does not want to meet any more ladies.
From a very excited Perfect Partner, Katrina
[/expander_maker] Perfect PartnersDoes he really love you? or is he MANIPULATING You?
ARE YOU BEING MANIPULATED??
Dear Shannon & team What a wonderful article, I have already shared it with my daughters, both young adults embarking on their life’s journey. In the throes of young and exciting love one can so easily miss these signs and end up in a difficult relationship and this advice is really worth reading. A lesson I learned the hard way many years ago and a reminder never goes amiss. [expander_maker id=”1″ more=”Read more” less=”Read less”] I am very much enjoying all the articles you send. I am so pleased I joined you guys as I am learning new stuff every day and very confident love is around the corner now for me!
Thanks for sharing Best wishes TC
DOES HE REALLY LOVE YOU? OR IS HE MANIPULATING YOU? (Guys, you can read “she” for every “he” because it works both ways!)
Happy Friday again to all our awesome members and we hope the full moon brought fresh starts for you all! It also brings “endings” so this is always sad, but letting go makes space for new things to start! When we weigh our scales of needs and wants, often something has to go to make room for something new, in order to keep balance in our lives. If it is a relationship where you seem to give more than receive, a career you don’t really enjoy, or a situation you have tolerated just too long, it is a good time to review. For some it may be an old “look” or image/style they hang on to…..well, take a long hard look in the mirror and ask yourself “can I improve myself with a “a new me?” as we do get stale! You’re personal branding in these daysis important! In fact a new outfit has hit the headlines “Revenge Makeover SA” (teeth are a must do if not looking so good anymore!) and you can Google and see what amazing things people are doing to fight back, regain their youth, good looks and become more confident! (Not only the ladies, but also the men! Us gals love a stylish and neat man in nice clothes and smelling good!).
Having the smarts and a charming personality helps, but all people are visual, more so the male species, a scientific fact!! But please do not feel inferior if you are not a Poster Pin-Up, everyone has their “imprinted” version of what pleases their eyes and what they find attractive – one person’s frog is another’s prince/princess, and even the most homely people may attract – but still do the best you can. Every pot has a lid! Even a bent lid may do! LOL! Even so, unless you are God’s gift in every way, be reasonable on what you can expect to attract – even Stevens all round, as the Afrikaans saying goes “soort soek soort” – that works best! Today’s article is shared with compliments of Your Tango about manipulation, with a little input from me in red!! From outright narcissism to selfishness or people with their own agendas, there are many signs that will warn you if you know what they are! Much love and light then until next time and have a great weekend,
Fond Regards Shannon
Don’t stay in a relationship with someone who ever says any of these to you.
- “You’re being overly emotional.”
When you’re in a relationship, you should be able to freely express how you feel about a situation as the expectation is the other actually cares. Even if it is trivial, or if it is upsetting you, it’s important that you are able to share this concern with your partner and get some reassurance. Shannon: BUT, it is how you share ….not whinge and whine, but explain gently what would make you happy or improve things! Make it short and logical, not take the other on a trip around the world getting there! But toxic partners are unable to handle the fact that they have caused you to be upset and instead of accepting that and fixing it, they will blame you and your “issues.” It isn’t overly-emotional to be upset when they do something dumb like flirting with others if you have told them makes you feel uncomfortable and it isn’t overly emotional to get angry when they can’t understand why you feel that way, especially when you try to talk to them calmly about it. Shannon: beware defensive reactions! Or excuses!
- “Your feelings aren’t valid.”
Some partners won’t openly say this, instead they will use phrases like, “you shouldn’t be so upset about it” or “it isn’t a big deal”. But it is a big deal and you are allowed to be upset about it. You see, by taking away your feelings, it removes any guilt on their part which allows them to continue being an ass and not consider how their actions will affect you. The main things toxic partners want is to be in control and get away with treating you badly so by saying you shouldn’t feel the way you do, or dismissing your views and feelings, relieves them of feeling guilty for it. But no one can be mad at you for feeling a certain way; no one can take your feelings away from you.
- “I didn’t say that.”
Toxic partners spin webs. They will say one thing during an argument or when trying get out of something and then will go back on it later when you call them out on it. They will claim they never said that, you heard it wrong. You obviously weren’t listening. You imagined it. Again, it’s about control. Unless you record a conversation or argument, it’s their word against yours and they’re adamant you are wrong.You will question yourself, you will wonder if they didn’t say that at all. It’s another way for you to lose your foundation during an argument because you’re so busy trying to work out if they’re right. If they claim they didn’t say it, you have no leg to stand on. You start to question your own sanity!
- “I can’t do anything right.”
Playing the victim means you will feel sorry for them and go to their rescue, suddenly, you don’t want to fight anymore. You will realize you were being unreasonable and apologize for trying to start an argument. Shannon: but there is a breaking point when it plays out too often, and resentment will turn you into a shriveled mess! The worst narcissists can go back to their childhood if necessary to explain why they are so hard done by, blame their families, upbringing and ex’es …..it means they are not only bad problem solvers, they feel the world must forgive them and allow them to bahave like toddlers (see our article on ADULTS BEHAVING LIKE TODDLERS) because a toddler does not problem solving capacity – throwing a tantrum works! Usually when the toxic partner feelings backed into a corner when they know they have done wrong, they will play the sympathy card. They don’t have many friends in town these days so they had to hang out with their ex. That person they talking to on line was a set up by someone playing a joke on you. They didn’t mean to hide their phone or accidently deleted all the stuff there! They talk to others outside of your earshot! They were just being friendly by talking to their co-worker until 3am without telling you because they’re a nice person. Why don’t you want your boyfriend to be a nice person? They are just trying to have interests outside of your relationship because they don’t want to smother you. Why can’t you see that? Why can’t you see they all good fellas?
- “You never trust me.”
Sure, they only cheated on you once. Sure, you only found texts to other girls a couple of times but they’ve been ‘good’ recently. They’ve remained loyal so why when they act shady, do you not believe them? Not feeling able to trust someone after they have constantly broken that trust is only natural. And expecting you to immediately trust them again is unfair. Rebuilding trust takes time. But by them blaming you for having trust issues (which they caused) means it becomes about you and your issues and insecurities rather than the fact they weren’t able to be a decent boyfriend. Suddenly the argument becomes about your lack of trust, your insecurities, your doubts and not what they have done.
- “But you did this.”
They may have been Facebook messaging that girl you said you don’t like, but last year you had a text from your ex you didn’t respond to or you or you told a white lie about something which ultimately wouldn’t have impacted your relationship, but you were open about it, so what cooks here?. But if you’re not perfect either then why are you having a go at them? You are to blame! You have made mistakes too so it doesn’t matter that they lied to you about that night out with the lads or whose number that really was that kept calling late at night. It’s the blame game. Nothing gets solved because they are too preoccupied with scoring points, even if it means making up situations.
- “You’re the most anxious person I have ever dated.”
Loving guys do not compare you to their exes. Especially negatively. Especially during an argument. Especially over something you are already worried about. If they decide to tell you that you are the most anxious or paranoid or insecure person they have dated, get out of there. If someone loves you, they lift you up and support you. They love you, anxieties and insecurities included. They honour you!
- “I didn’t lie; I told you when you asked me.”
There is a huge difference between someone choosing to tell you something and you having to pry it out of them. Sure, they eventually told you but it doesn’t count if you had to repeatedly ask them. However, when you get mad they can claim ‘but I told you about it’ and they cannot seem to understand that them not openly telling you in the first place means they wanted to conceal it. Lying is withholding the truth and choosing not to tell you about something until you pretty much beat it out of them is a lie. Sorry.
- “I’m going to sleep.”
I don’t know anyone who likes going to sleep on an argument. But if a guy can roll over and go to sleep when you are crying or angry, he does not give a shit about you. It’s another way he gets to control the situation, he gets to let you stew over it for hours and not get any sleep and then he will expect you to carry on as normal the next day when nothing has been resolved. It doesn’t matter how long it takes, if he cares he should want you to be able to sleep and to feel reassured and cared for and have whatever it is talked through. If he can easily fall asleep when you’re hurting, he’s not a good guy or worth a sleepless night. Shannon: my mother always told me “never go to sleep without resolving your issues with your loved ones” and it good advice! Even if you agree to disagree, make friends and love each other, you can discuss it calmly tomorrow, but punishing body language is cruel.
- “I’m not willing to be in a relationship with someone who ____.”
A loving relationship does not have ultimatums. It doesn’t matter how heated an argument gets, he should not result to telling you if you don’t change, he will break up with you. It’s his way of making you believe that everything that is wrong about the relationship is your fault and that you are the only one who needs to change your behaviour. The likelihood is, he’s projecting his own downfalls on to you because it’s too hard for him to see flaws within himself. If he gives you an ultimatum, walk away.
[/expander_maker] Perfect PartnersI think that you are placed into peoples lives for a reason
My dear Shannon, I think that you are placed into peoples lives for a reason. Sometimes I wonder how I got so lucky and what I have done to deserve a friend like you. People have come and gone out of my life, but for some reason you never left. Your friendship is one of the greatest gifts I have ever received. You always have time, you always care. [expander_maker id=”1″ more=”Read more” less=”Read less”] I could write a book about the positive affect you have had on my life. Your heart is of the purest that I have ever known and I felt your spirit the second I met you. Your energy and smile radiates and love and compassion that you show for others is special. I am so grateful to be affected and influenced by you. I hope that one day I can be half of the person that you are. You believed in me when I didn’t believe in myself. You loved me when I was hard to love. You listened to me when I didn’t have a voice and let me cry when I was broken. But most importantly, you never give up on me. That is special. You know me to my core. You know what makes me smile and what ticks me off. You can tell in an instant when I am upset and then continue to do everything in your power to make me feel better. If I am going through something, you are the first person to text me to make sure I am okay. When my confidence lags, you reassure me of myself. I have never had a bad moment with you. You fill my life with an immense amount of happiness and love. I know that wherever life takes us, you will be part of my life. If we don’t talk for some time, we pick up right where we left off. Whenever I need you, I know you will always be there. You are the epitome of a beautiful human being. I hope that every person in this world has someone like you in their lives. Shannon, you are the best!
Fond regards BJ
[/expander_maker] Perfect PartnersA VERY HAPPY MEMBER – finding her feet!
My dearest Shannon, I truly appreciate your comforting reply and the time you dedicated to me. Thanks so much for explaining so many things I never thought important – dating is not easy but you have made it such a friendly, safe and pleasurable experience!! I am enjoying meeting your truly eligible bachelors, guys who would NEVER have crossed my path in a lifetime if it was not for you!! [expander_maker id=”1″ more=”Read more” less=”Read less”] I love being sociable again and do not feel invisible and that my life is just a boring treadmill (and no more wasting time online dating) and I know now love will find me when the time is right! Your insight and understanding make me feel I am in good hands. You are very honest and I believe what you say, change the person and the circumstances will change! I am sure you have a very challenging job, but you handle it extremely well. I cannot imagine how you take care of every culture, religion, personality types and age groups, and you certainly have a gift. You do sell “people to people” and not one person is the same ……there surely is no other industry with so much diversity and individual needs! Thank you for your kind words.
Fond regards AK
Jul 19, 2017
You rock!! you really are special dearest AK, and we are loving working with and for you!! There are never any problems, only solutions …….and yes, sometimes I have to say it like it is and it makes my heart cringe as the last thing I ever want is being perceived as uncaring …..I do care HUGELY, and just a little intervention can make so many positive and wonderful things happen!! J I know as a coach my job is to make people feel safe and confident, but I can never play “emperor with no clothes” as telling people things to make them feel better that are not true, is deceiving them and an insult to their intelligence! Only when facing the truth can personal growth happen. I rather be dumped on – my shoulders are broad! LOL! Your wisdom and high EQ is impressive and I am humbled and appreciative you understand! Trust your matchmaker angel – we see the WHOLE bigger picture of every member, as every individual is a friend to us and we often can see potential others may not see – it is impossible to explain in words our instinct, residual knowledge, perceptions and GUT feel sometimes! You are going to find someone awesome – your energy is ‘clear’ and simple and you do not complicate things, you will be fine in this difficult matter of finding a lifetime investment of the heart! So much heartache and sorrow we see here daily – people seeking expert help eventually after making too many mistakes, and bad choices leading to huge trauma in their lives!! A reckless moment can lead to years of troubles!! So our motto is “prevention is better than cure!” …….we see many folk choose to meet based purely on looks and the chemistry rush……oh dear, then they only find out later they do not even really like the person …….after investing huge life force, time and heart quotient. I am glad you are meeting two of our most eligible bachelors ……we are always at your side! xxxxx
Fond Regards Shannon
[/expander_maker] Perfect PartnersA VERY HAPPY COUPLE!
Dear Shannon / Inge & Team I would like to express my sincere thanks and gratitude for activating a match between me and a finely selected “PERFECT PARTNER.” After much hesitation, trepidation, deliberation, and a few prompts and prods from your team asking me to please act upon the profile you sent me, and to respond to your emails, I decided to proceed. [expander_maker id=”1″ more=”Read more” less=”Read less”] We started off with telephonic conversations which would often span hours on end, well after midnight…..this continued for about a month ….before we decided to meet. Needless to say, as confident as I usually am, I was VERY nervous that day, kept wondering how to get through the first few minutes !!!! Well the first thing he showed me when I elegantly arrived, was a picture on his phone of what looked like a tortured specimen of some sort of alien……eerrr,mmmm , .which actually turned out to be his cat soaked in soap suds taking a bath, looking horrendously cute. That broke the ice I suppose, as I chuckled at how nervous we both were that we needed a sopping wet cat to come to photographic rescue ! We had a cocktail together and then proceeded to enjoy a fine meal. I was my normal self, confident yet maintaining my humility, no pretentiousness and made him feel relaxed and comfy. The content of our conversations were and still are varied, intelligent, current, interesting and encapsulated with respect and tolerance for each other’s views. The past is gone and never even worth a mention! Our future is full of “what next!?”.
Our ability to communicate seamlessly with such like-mindedness kept enticing us to keep the communication channels alive. I being an ambivert and he an introvert, has worked out perfectly, as we are both happy in ourselves and compliment and respect our unique qualities whilst celebrating the many things we enjoy in common. We have been together for the past 6 months and it has been nothing less than pure joy and a tantalising delight to the senses, to be in a relationship with a man who is so well grounded, mature, caring, gorgeous, someone who has crept into the crevices of my heart, has me smitten and I can confidently inform you that I have fallen in love with him. We have both been open about our mutual feelings for each other and the visible attraction and chemistry that exists between us. ( He also appreciates my petite little frame and that was one of the attracting factors for him. ) Not a day day goes by without us being in contact, whether it is a quick sms, or a little heartfelt emoji , a telephone call in between breaks or an endearing whatsapp ” thinking of my XXXXX” and my response ” I miss you my XXX” , the emotions that every interaction stirrs up is a feeling that I wish every one of your perfect partners could experience as much as we are. Thank you very much for such a perfect match. I truly love my new man ! We could not have done this without your deep caring help when needed and encouragement to fly and be brave! Also, to always be positive, because we attract what we put out …….my manifestations came true! Attached is a happy picture of us ! Keep up the good work and wishing you many more happy success stories such as ours.
With a heart full of gratitude DA
Jul 13, 2017
Hi again dear angel ….I know we have texted but I wanted to also email and say I am beyond thrilled and pleased for both of you, two people who are very precious to us, never complained and never bugged us, trusting and just waiting and knowing we would find you that ONE perfect match through a process of elimination and some trials……the LAST, hopefully for a lifetime!! You are both very beautiful people in and out!! Patience and belief in us paid off!! You make a stunning couple and your energy is palpable ….gorgeous photo…..we can see you are totally smitten with each other!! I must compliment you too – XXXX was never pretentious at all, but he always knew what he wanted and he never compromised, so well done on nabbing one of our most eligible Platinum bachelors ever!! We are very proud! And yes indeed, your taking care of your petite little frame and staying always naturally healthy and gorgeous won the day ……and your ladylike humility and fine mind had him at “hello”…the door was open to getting deeper into the soul. Please keep in touch!! Always in love and light, love to you both…..
Fond Regards Shannon
[/expander_maker] Perfect PartnersThe Irrational Fear of Being Alone
Hi Shannon, Inge and the PP Team,
Thank you thank you for this great read!!!!. Made my morning. I have only been a member for a few weeks and already I feel substance in being a member as you have held my hand over the first steps with warmth and compassion and I don’t feel like a “dating desperado” but a woman worthy of finding the right match, with a dignified recruiting service. [expander_maker id=”1″ more=”Read more” less=”Read less”] You always communicate and leave nothing to chance. You sure do get me and my needs too! I can truly see why you are rated the most professionals agency in the country, working with professionals …… I just had to share my take on the article. It feels like the writer was speaking to me- she articulated feelings like I would have expressed them on the journey to finding oneself. I was mortified of being alone after a 8 year relationship. But after almost 2 years of being alone, am liberated, peaceful and in the right mental space to welcome love and sunshine in my life. I know myself better and no longer feel that my identity is tied to another individual. I wish more people could have the courage to walk away from a relationship that doesn’t grow them. Fear is the strongest emotion of all in my humble opinion. It crippled me for 8 years. I’m truly happy to be with the PP family and pleased with the “soul food” you’re dishing to nourish us. Have a fabulous weekend Warmly Carol
Hi Carol THE IRRATIONAL FEAR OF BEING ALONE – RESEARCHED FOR YOU THIS WEEK! …a longish read but very good, even for the fundis! (We see clearly that members who read our stuff succeed far quicker than those who don’t! information is power!). …..nobody need ever be alone ……we are doing something about it! even if you are in a relationship, learn to avoid the cracks…… Happy Friday to all our esteemed perfect partners – old and new, and many old members have returned and many newbies are settling in, it promises action for all!! Finally we have some normal weeks ahead, and hope you also have some ‘me time’ for your own needs, remember, balance is key to a healthy and long life! we wish all our new happy couples a loving and thrilling new future – together forever! Many of our members are finding personal sessions with Bonita, Veronica and Thinus have helped tremendously!! Work on the “inner” with our coach ladies, and get the “outer” you have always wished for with Thinus – he guarantees success!! Again our mantra is, if you are not getting the action you hoped for, find the reason – we have the database and do everything we can to find your ideal (and real) and are eternally inviting new members in for all our benefit, because the next newbie may be YOUR match (and still sadly declining many that we know we cannot assist! These are often lovely people and need coaching first because they simply are not yet ready) – so do a little self-search on what you can do to improve outcomes, and work with us. Your attraction factor is your success factor – we cannot deliver love on a plate, being loveable gets you love in return. Days are getting cooler and nights longer, which bodes well for new romance!! We will be sending as many intros next week to everyone, if there are compatible matches!! Love and light then until next time, and please read hereunder ……even if you know it all, a refresh helps! We research tons of stuff every week …..and always try to save you time browsing, by giving you the best! Our comment in blue ….
Fond Regards Shannon
The Irrational Fear of Being Alone
By Susan Winter The fear of being alone is terrifying for most people I know. This paralyzing projection keeps many a couple trapped in a dysfunctional loop of unhappy relations. Though the reasons stated for not separating include children, loss of money or “it’s just not the right time,” at the core of this stasis is a fear of being alone. Someone, it seems, is better than no one.
The fear of being alone is an irrational construct. Alone doesn’t mean “lonely.” Yet, the false premise states that clinging to “another” for safety will somehow guarantee our safety. Security derived from an outer source is impossible. In the absence of our own self-love, we cannot connect to another in a meaningful way.
Staying in an unhappy partnership is viewed as being of greater value than honoring the self. It is fear. Projected fear. The loneliness imagined will only be experienced when not united with our selves. I’ve counseled many people on the merits of being comfortable in their own skin and finding peace within. While this is the answer, it’s astounding how much resistance is given to the concept. Many people just don’t have enough courage to love themselves! Even more reason to speak to one of our Love Gurus…… The reason for this resistance lies in outer identification. We’ve been told through movies, music and literature that we’re incomplete if we’re alone. Only the presence of “another” can alleviate the void we feel inside and make us feel whole. In actuality, we feel the void when we’re not aligned with ourselves. I
t’s folly. But still, the myth continues in the minds of far too many. How enticing the belief that someone else will be the balm to soothe us and the cure to our discontent? And how sad the realization that no one can provide solace for what we lack, inside. If you joined us hoping to find someone to complete you or rescue you, or be a trophy or conquest……….you need to rethink your goals! No outer force that can sooth inner discontent. In pressing our partner to do our work for us, they will certainly fail.Then, they become the problem. Our relationship becomes the problem. The love that was supposed to complete us becomes a battleground of conflicting wills as each holds the other’s happiness in their fickle hands. The fear of being alone is far greater than the real doing of it. Taking time to be alone with ourselves can be the greatest journey of a lifetime. The discovery of what we like, what we feel, what we want and who we really are is liberation at its finest. When actualized, one discovers the delight of a freedom far greater than imagined. After all, the worries and projected fears have passed, there comes the unexpected ah-ha moment — we are fine. Our former avoidance seems ridiculous in hindsight. There is peace and contentment. Then, joy. We realize we have ourselves as good company.
We begin to value the life we have…….and have far more to offer, a value add as a ‘whole person’ to a new love. We learn our fears of being alone were completely unfounded. We create a new platform from which love may grow. When we’ve worked through the fear of being alone, we may assess the validity of our existing partnership. With the pressure off our partner to save us, the relationship that seemed “dead” often finds new life. As we’ve changed, our partner must change in correspondence. From the point of inner connection, we may amend what we have or magnetize new suitors who also like themselves and like us. So many divorced people who join us tell us “I am divorced because he/she did not understand my needs…..” hmmmm, why were you needy in the first place? Why did you not simply ask nicely for what will please you, because your loved one sure as hell wants to please you!! Comfort within one’s self is the best starting point for a new relationship, or for a current love affair in peril. It’s the work that must be done by no one, but us. And, once done… is cherished as the edification of all that we are, and have now become. Unconditional love is born of tolerance, understanding, respect and giving ……..but some only take!
[/expander_maker] Perfect PartnersYou guys do an amazing job
Morning dear Shannon,
How is your long weekend going? Month end has come and now gone………..again J Thanks for asking about my beloved fur friends – dogs are amazing and they say if you want loyalty and a friend………………get a dog J There are so many tearful movies about dogs and their loyalty and one that comes to mind, is the Richard Gere movie set in Japan (can’t remember details) but when RG character died, his dog sat in the same spot in the town square for ages, waiting for his master to come home L J incredible!!! [expander_maker id=”1″ more=”Read more” less=”Read less”] A true story and so profound the story, the Mayor of the town erected a statue of the dog. Dealing with Mr. Public is tough and reading your newsletter, reminded me of when I was a Service Provider for Vodacom in 1994 for five years. It’s wild sometimes J You guys do an amazing job and I remain very impressed at the high calibre of ladies you have offered me in my 6 month spell so far – everyone a potential friend if not The One – and I know we are getting close!! My life has changed dynamically! I wish and hope your members appreciate how hard you work for us all, with such professional care and attention to detail. This is not like any other ‘dating service’ but more like being a member of an exclusive single’s friendship club, with you introducing all your friends to each other!! I do seriously consider you a friend!! When my helicopter is serviced, I plan to meet you all!
Short and sweet and merci bucket, MT
[/expander_maker] Perfect PartnersEXCELLENT ADVICE FROM SHANNON, MUCH APPRECIATED
From: FMF
Sent: 04 January 2017 11:01 PM
To: Perfect Partners Inc
Subject: EXCELLENT ADVICE FROM SHANNON, MUCH APPRECIATED
Dear Shannon Thank you so much for the email and the discussion yesterday, especially as you should be on leave. When I asked to discuss what had happened with XX and I, it was more to get advice and to have a sounding board – I find that dating can really make you doubt yourself sometimes! But in fact I got a whole lot more from you in terms of support and compassion which is what I needed after the very cold sms “cut-off”. [expander_maker id=”1″ more=”Read more” less=”Read less”] I thank you so much for that – the whole conversation was actually quite cathartic for me. I shared some of my minor issues with XX – not excessively so – but I take your point that this could be an issue for him and I need to be more mindful of this given where he is in his life right now. But if he is looking for perfection in me or our relationship, he will not find it…..we can only heed your advice and grow “into” our perfection as we go forward……… I appreciate your experience, guidance, kindness and enthusiasm for this, which is clearly more than just a job for you. You are really amazing and very astute, your ability to get the point quickly is a gift, as we soon had me laughing again, and now XX and I are back on track!
Warm regards FMF
[/expander_maker] Perfect PartnersSuccess story and a wedding in December 2016, single to soulmate!!
Hi dear RP and CM, (and all the ‘family’!) How wonderful to hear from you!! How time flies!! It is hard to believe CM and the three kitties are already fully installed – for keeps! What a fabulous journey it has been …..and I even think many ladies could be envious that RP was very sincere about moving heaven and earth to get his South African beauty, and it has happened, and I can ‘hear’ you are very much in love! CM will morph into a great USA citizen, with her sense of adventure and faith intact! [expander_maker id=”1″ more=”Read more” less=”Read less”] And living in Maine – could not be more perfect! I and the PP Team here wish you the most awesome of weddings on 10th December, we wish we could be there!! PLEASE send us photos! We are extremely fond of you and loved working with and for you – it has been a fabulous success story and will always be a very warm memory! Big hugs to CM, she is brilliant!! What a brave lady ……and a big kiss on the cheek from me dear RP, you are an extra- ordinary man! You knew your Ms. Right from day one! Much love and light for always, Fond Regards Shannon Dear all, and especially our wonderful Matchmakers, Perfect Partners! For 23 years, I lived alone in various parts of the world includng my 2013 move to mid-coast Maine. Now there are 7 living beings here in Harpswell, Maine, USA with 2 more on the way. My journey with Perfect partners was fabulous as I met stunning ladies…..and then my dream came true! The major addition was CM’s arrival in Boston from 10,000 miles away (JHB, SA) on Tuesday. The next night her 3 cats, Charlie, Roxy, and Lily arrived the after a 7 hour drive up here from JFK. Of course my adorable and extremely gentle bulldogs Yale and Kennedy have been now with me over a year. All is smooth so far, fingers crossed CM’s own very small dog Picasso will join us in the middle of next year, and her almost 18 year old son will be here for South African school holidays. He will arrive before the wedding and stay until almost New Years. Again we are both so happy at what seems to be a large positive response as to attending our Saturday Dec 10th wedding at UCONN. Also if any of you know a good photographer with a real camera, we may have a need for that.
Please be in touch any time you wish. We send our warmest to each of you, CM and RP
[/expander_maker] Perfect PartnersSpring has sprung for another great happy couple! …..a very happy story!
Hi Shannon Had dinner with KM last night, I can officially say this man is head over heels. He dotes over me and treats me with care and compliments, just so very, very nice! Best he has NOT pushed himself onto me at all from an intimacy point, that will come … He would like to introduce me to his friends at a dinner on Friday. Then he has asked me to join him in Cape Town when he gets back from the overseas (leaving for 2 weeks on Sat for bus), he wants to introduce me to his two girls at varsity! [expander_maker id=”1″ more=”Read more” less=”Read less”] (That is always a big step when you meet the children, well it is for me!) He has also asked me to join him, his friends and children to his game farm in December before I go away. Then he has asked me to clear March and would like me to come with on a skiing trip in Switzerland. Well …. What can I say. He is dying to meet my two girls, and my precious grandchildren, I made it abundantly clear that my tiny little family means everything to me, he loved that. We chatted a hind leg of a donkey! He treats me 100% like a lady and is certainly hunting big time. All and all it looks like I have turned the corner, and certainly looks like I might be on the eve of a new beginning, now I know what you mean by real transformation, everything has changed, and I was ready after all my duds and practice even. Thank you so very, very much for your patience, loving support, motivation and steadfast determination to find the right guys, you are very caring and professional matchmakers, and also friends. I think it works out to 25 frogs I couldn’t kiss …..… but they were all fabulous charming men of the best calibre. (Except the lawyer from Pretoria, he was creepy) Regards and very best wishes! BF
Oct 6,2016
Wow dear BF, this is just the best ever news!! It sounds divine – what a man!! Long term plans into next year is music to my ears!! You are going to really be happy! The best part is all the family involvement – that is a huge step in the right direction! Enjoy every precious moment and look after yourselves and each other – the gift of love is worth more than anything in the world as you know how ‘aloneness’ can eat at the soul despite all life’s rewards! You deserve love! I truly believe things happen as they should, it is all about timing, and it was your time – and certainly not for lack of trying!! SEE! It happens, it takes just one perfect match! Thanks for the compliments though that all our guys you met were great and real gentleman, that is for sure, just sadly not meant for you ….but ONE was and now you are a very happy and lovely lady!! We have always been very proud to present you out there, with dedication to our cause!! PLEASE keep us posted and we wish you much love and light, for always! xx
Fond Regards Shannon
[/expander_maker] Perfect PartnersCompliment – You are very Professional Matchmakers!
I am very impressed with the personal attention I have consistently been receiving from you all and the general high standards. Being in the service industry myself, I know what it takes and how difficult it is to keep up at times so please extend the compliment to everyone else as well at PP. [expander_maker id=”1″ more=”Read more” less=”Read less”] I have recommended you whenever the topic of conversation has come up. You are very rare people, you really care and you have made a huge difference for me in many ways, your hands-on support is invaluable.
Much appreciated
GL
SHARING THE GRIEF OF LOVE LOS. A beautiful true story, although very sad!
This week we share a beautiful love story, and from it there is some inspiring message of hope and also a reminder that life is too short to waste! We do grieve and mourn here when we lose someone…….you may not realise it but we care about every one of our members!
[expander_maker id=”1″ more=”Read more” less=”Read less”]About four years ago we had a great success story, Ms. X 40, and Mr. Y 48 (for confidentiality sake we do not mention names) and it was a perfect match, they were totally in love and often we heard from them on all their awesome moments and adventures…..until we heard the terrible news that she came home from work one day to find him dead in his chair, a warm coffee cup besides him and the TV on his favourite sport. A perfectly healthy man who gymmed every day, never smoked or drank much or lived dangerously – just gone in a wink from a heart attack! He was in the prime of his life! It was the anniversary of his passing on 21st April and Ms. X sent us the most awesome dedication to her beloved, and it really touched our hearts. In her own words below in response to our condolences:
“Thank you Shannon, your kind words are most inspiring and encouraging. I dont know that I could ever love like this again – I have had too much pain in my life – too many knocks. I waited my whole adult life for this love, this perfect, amazing man. I gave and received 200%. I loved him more than my own life. We were the perfect couple, fitted together hand in glove, thanks to your expert matching and guidance in the early days to give it a chance when we weren’t sure – it was soon a dream come true. It has not gotten any easier with time and I cannot possibly love that way again. I am not ready to start over as he will be the one I love more than life itself. “
So we remind ourselves we do not know for whom the bell tolls …….live and love every day as if it were your last, is not just a cliché……because we only have the present and we havetomorrow, the past can never be brought back except in good memories that can sustain us as we head out ‘alone’ once more. We encourage all our precious members to allow love to find you – it is not the person’s “look”, or their wealth or lack of it, nor their social standing or their achievements and assets, it is purely the beauty of loving, and heart intelligence that can make real love happen between two sincere people – never intellectualise or over think a potential relationship, (does age really matter? Do the little habits and rituals we have make a difference?) give everyone we propose a chance, and rather hone your instincts and follow your heart when the time is right, and leave the door open so love can find you. It proves our point here that we got another email this week from another member who said she is going to explore a new relationship – despite not her ‘type nor my look’ she said, she cannot ignore the huge magnetism and overwhelming chemistry – who would have thought! She is so pleased she gave it a chance!
Bottom line – true love cannot be engineered, manipulated or bought (leave the ‘agendas’ out of the picture too) it is truly a heaven sent gift for the human species, if they allow it to happen! So off we go, seeking on your behalf as always, and hoping that new intros turn out to be magical for you all in the weeks ahead! Don’t give up because we sure do not – you all are fabulous folk and there is someone out there for YOU!
We are more driven than you know to find each one of you a perfect partner!! Your time will come …….be your best, be ready, and if you are not, work on it!
Much love and light until next time …..
Shannon and the PP Team
[/expander_maker] Perfect PartnersTheresa, now non-dating as she is in an AWESOME relationship! wow!
You make me laugh as always!
Its been so so super having you by my side for the last year…. That in itself was extremely supportive… just knowing that you were looking out for me.
Much love
T
Awesome dear Theresa ……indeed, it was serendipitous! It was your time! How utterly fabulous and so exciting, we are so very pleased for you – your new man sounds like one in a million, and it must have been hard for him out there to find someone like you that is so on the same level …..we are so pleased we could help……..you are going to be fine! I love a happy story and magic ending – may you truly be very happy into eternity! You sound perfect for each other! The universe knows ……maybe you had to complete your ‘journey’ of Self first, until the angels knew you were ready!
Much love and light and it has been so awesome working for you, we humbly accept any little gratitude that we may have made a tiny difference, even if it was in learning what you did NOT want!
xxxxx
Fond Regards
Shannon
Hi Shannon!
OMG… what a whirlwind J
I have met my man….. fit, active, super strong, highly intelligent, SUPER intuitive… an empath!!…. fun, gorgeous, a doctor (chiropractor), world travelled with risk management in the health industry! And loves all the sports I do……..just sooooo me and everything I have ever looked for! A strong and sensitive man who is so in touch with his stuff, it puts me to shame!
I have had the most fabulous 4 weeks. It was absolutely our time – a real serendipitous meeting – I was eventually ready for a man like this.
As you can tell – I am over the moon – without any attachment to where this may end up, I am thoroughly enjoying every single moment.
Thank you for all your wonderful help and support…..
Keep well – much love
Theresa
HUGE SUCCESS WITH DATE COACH AND NEW IMAGE
Hi Inge, Shannon and Veronica,
I trust you are well.
I am doing great! I need to compliment you an excellent professional match making service, a really warm, friendly and safe environment and human contact always at hand if I have a wobble!
Inge, your step by step guidance helped me overcome fear, the more I learnt about how this works, the more confident I became. You are a fabulous matchmaker!
Also, your guidance on my “dating image” was incredibly helpful as I now see myself quite differently – my confidence has grown with my improved “looks”! Why did I not bother to look my best before? Perhaps I cared more about everyone else and neglected myself! My new image and make-over took 2 days, and changed my life and it was such fun…..your guidance on what eligible bachelors really like in a lady, opened my eyes. Silly, but I feel I could “date myself” now I like myself so much more! LOL! [expander_maker id=”1″ more=”Read more” less=”Read less”]
I had a session with Veronica yesterday with another tomorrow.
I have had such deep and powerful shifts in my life as a result and I will be eternally grateful to you and Shannon for introducing her me.
These shifts have not just opened me up to men but have also shifted in my son and my people at work. It is true what you all said, I am a magnet now for others and my warmer and friendlier me means others “see” me now!
Thank you again for the intro and for helping in my journey to healing and to be in a position to receive love for the first time in my life.
I am excited for what the future holds and understand there is indeed a lid for every pot, and I accept I may not please everyone always, but those that are attracted by me, will certainly value me for who I am!
My best wishes and keep up the good work for all those singles dating and seeking out there, they really need this professional dating service!
Jennifer-Anne
[/expander_maker]
Perfect Partners
THE TRUTH WILL SET YOU FREE, BUT FIRST IT WILL P*SS YOU OFF!! YOUR MATCH MAKER WANTS YOU TO SUCCEED!
Good morning Shannon,
I hope you are doing fantastic
Thank you for another very informative and enjoyable newsletter………and yes, the truth is sometimes hard to swallow but if people are not getting the successful outcomes they expected, then someone has to help them with the HOW, WHAT and WHEN to up their game on a scale of 1 – 10, and we all do need constructive critique at times! [expander_maker id=”1″ more=”Read more” less=”Read less”]
I think members who take your articles “personally” really have to do some soul searching, look at their self-image and they will find that the articles can only assist to look at our hopes and dreams in a very different light… not an easy exercise but certainly necessary, no soul mate is going to drop out the sky … and I know for myself, I have loved your guidance and my dating experiences have hugely improved and still going strong. I am even about to renew my contract as I feel you are ALL SUCH A GREAT SUPPORT SYSTEM AND PART OF MY LIFE!
Please supply me with the lady that does the profile pics again…….. thanks a mil J
Also please look at my profile info and give me some feedback whether I have enough details needed to portray me as a person and someone that are looking for that Mr. Right and a long term fulfilling relationship……so we can give this another twirl. I have been doing corporate doing for some time before joining you, and honestly, there is NOBODY and nothing nearly as expert, kind and caring as you guys – truly professionals match makers.
Us executives dating out there also need assurance we are safe as we have much to lose if we associate with the wrong people who may have nefarious agendas. I have learnt so much as a woman seeking a man, and that means the right man (and you have introduced me to awesome guys for sure, I just was not truly ready) and my whole “defensive attitude” has changed, and I can own it, I was doing it wrong. There are wonderful men out there!
Have a brilliant Monday and wishing you lots of blessings xxxxxx
Kind Regards
Jane
[/expander_maker] Perfect PartnersYou truly are my soldiers of love!
Hi Shannon
I am so sorry, I have only just read your email. Thank you so much for taking the time to write to me, I truly appreciate it. Firstly, thanks for being such a professional matchmaker! Your personal singles introductions are truly the best!
I have told Allan already and I thought it better to do so as he was really making an effort, texting last night and this morning and he is such a nice man, there honestly was no spark there for me at all and I am so bad at pretending. [expander_maker id=”1″ more=”Read more” less=”Read less”]I also know that he would not have just wanted to be friends 🙂 sadly he is not my perfect partner despite it being an expert match.
I have realised that I dont know what I want or need in a man and maybe I need to figure this out first which is why I have decided to put this on hold for a month or so while I go figure out what it is really want from love and men. I also still seem to hurt too easily 🙂 I thought I was going to be able to “play the field” a bit and find out what I want but feelings are involved and I dont know how to handle that part. I thought dating in this day and age was easy! I may be an executive single lady but I realise how much I need a professional matchmaker NOW TO HELP WITH A DATING GAME PLAN.
I thought I was doing well with John and Allan but truly had no idea that John thought I was only seeing or chatting to him and not settling, we were not even on the same page yet! 🙂 I apologise if I have negatively impacted on PP by telling John myself but perhaps if you just confirm with him what I have told you, he will at least know it is the truth, and you can send him more ideal matches. He asked me, when we were out on our date, what my perfect match would be and I told him that I had no idea.
Maybe when I start again I should look at doing some relationship coaching. I struggle with the grey areas of life and dating definitely is a grey area for me. Amazing how we can get to this age and still be so seemingly incapable of understanding each other or communicating effectively with each other. Dating sites are a waste of time as you do not really know who your perfect match is until too late, singles only social clubs are a bunch of losers! My friends think a guy is awesome – but they haven’t seen him in a romantic context, they are lousy at matchmaking! I truly value your slow and methodical professional singles introductions to screened and profiled guys.
Thank you again Shannon, I am sure you must have your hands full with all of us oh so very mature teenagers! 🙂 🙂
Much love and light to you.
Andrea
xxx
2nd March 2018
Hi dear Andrea,
I meditated on your email and have really so much to encourage you with ……..but the bad news is you will not possibly resolve this vortex you find yourself in if you go off the radar and wait!! You can only learn to ride the horse if you stay in the saddle! Best to start now, at a leisurely pace …….see below….. (and you are not alone, explained hereunder). There is excellent help we can provide in getting you dating executive singles!!
I can share this with you – until my experiences through PP I only realised over 50 what it is all about! Bwahahahahahaha!! I practiced on 3 husbands after all (may they rest in peace) and many flames…..and finally my best ever friend who stood by me while I went through two marriages, came back into my life and taught me how very simple it all is!! it was all about VALUES!! I had the right values like honesty, truthfulness, dedication to what I did, warm and giving blah blah…(maybe tooooo much, maybe I WAS a people pleaser too!)…..but they were hidden under a coat of (shiny) armour hiding a fearful façade ….. from designer clothes to false friends to the high living lifestyle, maybe even vanity and ego!! I was using the wrong things to get approval and find attraction because I thought that was what was needed, comparing myself to “others” who seemed to have it all. No wonder I never found my perfect match! I can write a book!! The quality of my lifestyle has not changed, but my entire value system recognises my abundance now! And I have love….true love! We are a perfect match!
We may never mature, and we may stay teenagers forever, nothing wrong with that angel, because we encourage everyone to keep “their inner child alive” ……..that child could be awed, dazzled, learn new things, had no fear and was not tarnished by life’s disappointments, with naïve belief the world was good, that people are nice to us, that fairness is standard, and love easily found! Then the Hard Knock Café becomes our “space” and we get cynical. Corporate dating is a niche world, despite all the achievements, everyone is still human and vulnerable.
So never lose your inner child – you have something very special and that is why John so over-reacted!! And Allan is really keen!! And I promise, other guys would have loved you for who you are too, given a chance…….if you had your game plan waxed!! J Start fixing at a cellular level! We are your professional matchmakers and will find the best potential!
So many people fret “what is wrong with me, have I lost some heart/brain cells? Will love ever find me?”…where is my soul mate…..and true, they do not know what being loveable is or what they want/need….or how to recognise love when it knocks on the door…….and they end up with a therapist…..and millions of hours and bucks later are often more confused!! (necessary if there is a real psychological pathology….but you are not in this group! You are fabulous! J).
(I don’t know if you read my weekly articles – or were here already yet when I sent out the one on “some people are incapable of love?” …..truly worth reading as it also earmarks co-dependency and narcissistic traits). I can resend!
Just to mention…….it comes as quite a surprise to many single ladies that men are truly capable of adoring, worshipping and loving them unconditionally in this “false truth” decade/era……..especially once they join us!! The mavericks quickly settle in and TRUST then they can invest in a lady they are attracted to again (after their own hard knocks and disappointments)……..then the disappointment, the ladies didn’t know it, the guys are ready to love but the ladies have no idea what they throwing away!
They don’t GET IT! Single society in general lives the farce of instant gratification …..wine/dine me, ravish me then we can all move on (you were not going to stay anyway, so wé!)…or “what is in it for me, now!!”…….with no long-term goal, because life moves too quickly and we live in a throw-away world! (us women are IMPRINTED by the past love-loss, that we are disposable, NO!!!)……let’s take back our power, with hugs and kisses and the feminine goddess we all have within – let her shine! We must have patience and staying power to transformation can happen.
Please know you have NOT let us down …..in fact, you are still an asset on the way to being even a better one! J John respects you even more for being honest …..he gets livid when the above scenario plays out and he is not taken seriously when he was starting to “invest” his gentle heart…….and Allan, same thing (he was very keen), well I will offer a shoulder ….if he needs! Honestly, a bit of ego here if he thought you were falling so quickly……no Allan, much more input needed, but thanks for being so open with your heart! Maybe he learnt something …….you were not one of those to fall into his arms …..yet……J
Love and light as always sweetheart!! Here for you whichever way you choose ……your soldiers of love!
BIG HUGS!!
Fond Regards
Shannon
[/expander_maker] Perfect PartnersA very happy member reports!
Hi Shannon,
I want to tell you how much you have changed my life – a new me, better health and even a love interest! I am determined to keep his interest HOT! I know I stand a better chance if I improve my shape too. [expander_maker id=”1″ more=”Read more” less=”Read less”]
Hey, practice what you preach! LOL! Go for it if you need to lose a few kgs, and do your Kata! You encouraged me so awesomely that time of the match… It’s hard and carbs are the worst, but taste the best, I sympathise with you now. If one can stay focused, it takes 3 weeks to break a habit, then it goes better… I’ve kick started karate again, on a mission now to complete and get my 3rd Dan and lost 5kgs already, I feel fantastic. It’s just my favourite sport and doing a Kata is beautiful!
Hope you have a good evening and don’t have to work too late.
Thanks always and always for your encouraging messages. I really and honestly feel so looked after, safe & hopeful – I know you care and you are the best matchmaker around and even a friend now! I know you will always support me too! Dating sites sucked! I will never go there again! Your calibre of professional men is unbelievable – I thought there were none left on the planet!
Fond wishes,
Angel
[/expander_maker] Perfect PartnersA new member joins Perfect Partners and is very impressed at the process!
Hi Shannon
Many thanks, I am looking forward to the experience, albeit a bit nervous You guys have me so comfortable, the interview was very friendly and caring with tons of gentle guidance, and I do not feel alone anymore, knowing I have guys like you behind me, always a friendly call away! It is comforting to know there is a truly professional matchmaker in our country, I am just sorry I took so long to do this!
Regards
Sally
Feb 25, 2018
Hi dear Sally,
Thanks so much for enquiry and lovely profile, and I do believe you and Inge are chatting, so I am just introducing myself! We love your profile – you sound exactly like the kind of lady our professional, stable and yummy bachelors seek (they are also not desperate but love our recruitment and personal introduction process as they also want the best ‘love investment’ for a lasting love story) so you are in good company! On the contrary, our kinda guys are NOT intimidated by independent and strong ladies – this is actually what they seek, as long as they are feminine and not using ‘masculine power’ and are bullies or bossy ……..this info we will be sharing and it is quite an eye opener what truly good guys want! Feminine power is awesome – the very seat of nurturing our species, so they admire this in a lady …….they just do not want to date a ‘buddy’ who competes on their territory like a male.
Enjoy your interaction with Inge …..we are process driven and have been acclaimed as the elite matchmakers in the country, with some 12 years experience and thousands of happy couples on our books (or rather, off our books! LoL). She will explain all the processes, the next steps and look after you well. We take responsibility for all our actions and work with, and for you!
Much love and light,
Fond Regards
Shannon
CEO/Matchmaker/Coach (specialising in the single dyamic at all levels for the individual needs, ‘date ready’ preparation, your hands-on, expert prfilers – always a call away!).
[/expander_maker] Perfect PartnersThe right moment is now!
Good Morning Shannon
I am sending you the best and biggest virtual hug I can conjure up this morning. Thank you for your most beautiful words, empathy and advice. What a journey you is! I agree, why wait! Having had these few days without male attention again forces me to acknowledge that I do want to love and be loved so hey, I need to find out how to do this again!! I love learning and I am currently doing a life coaching course myself and so I understand you when you say it is about “values” and I have been questioning mine for a while now in an attempt to understand myself better. [expander_maker id=”1″ more=”Read more” less=”Read less”] I realise though that when it comes to relationships I am so confused as to what my values are, especially in this phase of my life! I am going to contact Veronica this morning and get going. Have the most beautiful day.
Much love and light to you
Xxxx
Verona
23rd Feb. 2018
Ahhhh my darling Verona, I have tears in my eyes, dinkum!! A HUGE virtual hug back!!
I so know where you are coming from, been there myself, and there was no help, I was not a basket case that needed a shrink……I had to learn the hard way!! When I became an accredited coach it helped me “arrange” my thoughts and with the help of my colleagues and friends who are also coaches, I quickly caught up and all my experiences in life and love came together….…if only I was only 50 years old now to benefit more from my deepest insights!!
BUT, I believe God and the universe meant for me to be here where I am now, helping my sistas and other women who have gone through these agonising moments!! J It truly is my karmic calling ….hee hee, maybe my “give back” to evolve to a new level for the next life is my purpose, and repair what I messed up in the past life! J I sure as hell want to come back next time much smarter!! LOL!!
Even though a coach myself, I find I definitely need neutral help from experts like Veronica and Katie, one cannot be the chef and the gourmet diner! I have alerted Veronica you will be calling – you will love her too!
Veronica would love to hear from you – ……….jump to it soonest, you can truly find what you seek when you know YOU better, and what you really want! You are so lovely, and it is not for nothing you are so popular!! Men crave to meet women like you …….I will expand on this in my newsletter!
I am hugely relieved, because we all know “waiting until later” is procrastination……which is fear of failing!! If you were shallow and plastic, I would have just bowed to your choices, and waited then. LOVE YOU!!
I am so inspired I think my newsletter today will be about this finding love thing, dedicated to you (no mention of names), from a different perspective, not an article, but more a question and answer session – with a situation similar to yours!
Tons of love and light for a Fabulous Friday!!
xxxxxx
Fond Regards
Shannon
[/expander_maker] Perfect PartnersVery happy with coaching service! Thanks Veronica!
Hi Veronica
Thank you for our session yesterday. You have affirmed that I am on the right track to look for my own special friend and hopefully to find love again. I feel more confident about presenting the best of me (photo shoot today!) and actively looking out for potential partners, even among the friends I have had for years or the men I come into contact with through work, though I do of course hope that Perfect Partners will find “the one”! My experience so far has been great – your whole team of matchmakers has made a big difference to my views on the business of find love again. [expander_maker id=”1″ more=”Read more” less=”Read less”]You do a wonderful job and must help so many people. Very special. I now realise this takes a dating strategy and is not a hit-and-miss, even though you are my matchmakers, I need to check out every “potential” that crosses my path – I have been hiding for too long! It is true I need to let “others” know I am available and not wait in my ivory tower. Many thanks, Catherine
[/expander_maker] Perfect PartnersWelcome to a very special bachelor!
THANKS FOR RESTORING MY BELIEF – I AM READY TO FIND LOVE AGAIN!
Hi dear Shannon and Inge,
Thank you so much for the sensitive way in which you have dealt with me over the past ten days and your dedication and patience – I was very nervous and sceptical and almost ready to give up on ever finding a genuine lady who just wants a guy to love her and give her everything he can and who can appreciate love as a divine gift, such a simple and natural necessity in our existence – for what else is the purpose of working so hard and being a better person when you have nobody to share it with? I have been so let down recently, finding ladies only see the material things and are so uncaring and selfish, I am not a robot but a very warm hearted guy. [expander_maker id=”1″ more=”Read more” less=”Read less”] I am highly respected at the highest level in my career, but overlooked as a just a man seeking a partner. I feel like something is wrong with ME! You have restored my confidence and now realise I have been looking in the wrong places and too eager to please making me look needy (now understand I am allowed my boundaries too, life is a two-way street afterall) so am joining now as a Diamond Member because I believe investing in your services means in return you will invest in me, and so far you have done more for me than anyone else on a personal level in years! I do feel very safe and now looking forward to my new adventure in the world of dating! You guys are tuly professional matchmakers with plenty of heart!
Fond regards Allan
06 Feb. 2018
Hi there dear Allan, thank you so much for the time spent chatting to Inge – you have made a really good impression and you really touched her heart and mine – we hear this often from really successful singles and it is a sad fact you guys become a target for other’s evil agendas and often are exploited and used, so we truly understand!! We understand that many ladies too are disillusioned and think men in general are shallow, and this perpetuates the cycle of living without real meaning – and yes, what is life/achievement without sharing with someone who cares? Precisely why we are here!! We provide both a safe and friendly environment of likeminded singles with the same needs, dreams and views of a happy life shred with an adored and adoring partner. Even though us gals are empowered now (strong and independent) there is nothing like a fabulous strong arm to lean on through all life’s ups and downs. I have attached your invoice as requested, and look forward to bringing you into “the family” soonest and welcoming you on board! I would also love to make your acquaintance as we will be working closely on your strategy, and getting you prepared for your new adventure!! I have a few very workable ideas already! Can I call you this afternoon? Always in love and light then until later,
Fond Regards Shannon
[/expander_maker] Perfect PartnersThe busy-busy syndrom, FOMO, being too busy can be an excuse – you need to make time for yourself if you are dating!
Awesome dear Nic, coming from you we are very flattered you found this hitting the spot!! Thanks for reading our article on what men are really seeking, we do wish more ladies would take heed – we do know how busy you are so thanks for reading!! I also see you comment often how busy you are – it seems time does not favour you often (also the flurry with Vivienne on time keeping) and it does make me think and wonder to ask, do you put your foot down and draw your line in the sand when people are time vampires? [expander_maker id=”1″ more=”Read more” less=”Read less”]
Do you always wish to help and be there for them, at your own expense – because angel, you also need your sacred space in time! I recognise this trait in myself and force myself every day to try and say “later” …or “as soon as I can but not until…”..and prioritise or delegate, and actually, the world didn’t end if I attend first thing the next day or when needed!! I am driven to get it all done TODAY, NOW, this minute …….but actually, does it really make a difference? “Busy-ness” can also be a subconscious foil for fear of being forgotten, left out, missing out (FOMO), or appearing slack ….then we get lost in time and look disorganised…hee hee, so which is the best option? I do agree though if a rugby match is running over time, no WAY can you not watch the final minutes!! LOL!! a lady should forgive a man this transgression!! (But then is she runs late, it works both ways!) We have activated your latest date …..please do not call at “inappropriate” hour, like after 8pm, unless you text and explain you in a meeting whatever, and they happy with it!! also try to meet soonest …….long drawn out texts over more than a week get under a lady’s skin and you start falling from grace! J We understand not easy when you are a busy professional, but every positive move helps ..the sooner the better!!
Fond Regards Shannon
[/expander_maker] Perfect PartnersThank you! My life is transforming
Dear Shannon,
Thank you very much for the extended session this morning. I am so more confident now with meeting great worthy bachelors and I know I am worth a great catch! I am able now to keep an open mind, as my quotation says, and up for all challenges in the language of love. [expander_maker id=”1″ more=”Read more” less=”Read less”]
It was hugely insightful. You are an incredible date coach, you get to the point in the kindest way and our profiling is spot on – I trust you as my matchmaker with all my heart! I realise I have made many bad choices because I was attracted to the ‘wrong elements’, but I now have more depth.
I look forward to learning to put some of your suggestions and ideas into practice and working at it.
It is really great to have someone so committed, straight forward and honest to work beside me.
I know you will call me when you need to but more importantly guide and support me to develop my confidence and my tactics
Thank you for your incredible dedication.
With gratitude
Candy
Single and alone? It is never too late to start again!
Hi dear Wanda,
Ahhhhh, how I got immediate insight to your situation!! All my experience, insights and instincts just went “boom” into place! I just so understand your situation! I have been there! In fact after a divorce I remarried and then was widowed, so starting over twice has been one of my personal strengths! I wish I had a personal matchmaker back then to ‘recruit’ for me! [expander_maker id=”1″ more=”Read more” less=”Read less”]
When I retired from the corporate world in all things ‘human sciences’ I decided to start Perfect Partners with the goal, mainly, of helping others to start over by offering a professional matchmaking service with a human touch – a voice people can talk to. We are unlike any other dating site! I had experienced both times quite a shift in my social scene (my married friends seemed to disappear or were scarce) as I started out – my lifestyle was different and getting into a world of Singles was quite hairy! I had no shortage of suitors but felt very vulnerable! A sensitive matchmaking service to look out for me would have been very welcome! Some of them were quite an experience. I do enjoy my own time and company, but I realised I had to find my niche in this new world ……which I successfully did (I tried a few so-called elite single dating sites but it was awful) and now can happily profess that I am in a very wonderful relationship with a guy who is also my best friend! We still respect each other’s space and maintain our individuality (in fact we are chalk and cheese as he is quite the pedantic analyst and realist, while I am more the academic romantic) and we balance each other out, always interesting and never a dull moment as we approach things from different viewpoints but manage to come to the same outcomes!
I do recommend a no-obligation chat on how personal matchmaking works – we can explain that this new adventure is one of purely networking with a chosen (you get to choose from our prospects who have been relatively well screened as stable, healthy (mind, body and soul) and committed (no baggage, sad sacks or players or perverts) and normal selection of great guys – you are only making friends and opening new doors to possibilities! You only start ‘dating’ once there is mutual attraction).
Love will find you when the time is right and it is never predictable! I can see you are not needy, co-dependent or desperate (sorry, but these descriptors fit most singles out there, hence we are so careful who we sign up but we also help those that need our ‘date coaching’ to get passed these issues so they can confidently enjoy our matchmaking service) so making new friends just means a nice new dimension to your current life……at your pace and in your own time! Everyone who wants to try this matchmaking exercise seems to start with the final outcome in mind, envisioning (in panic) a sudden committed relationship with a new person invading your space, virtually a faceless stranger! LoL! That is flipping scary! Nope, it does not happen this way ….it is a slow process of just getting comfortable and can be hugely rewarding as it is such a gift to mix and mingle with new friends!
The norm is to receive one or too good matches a month, maybe even more depending on your own pace, so that you can spend time getting to know each other slowly. (All our protocols and strategies are in place after our brief ‘induction’ to settle you with your own plans). This is NOT like internet when you get a barrage of hundreds of hits from men clamouring and knocking you over! It is tasteful, selective and respectful……and fun! You would get a concise CV and current pics by email of every proposed intro, so you can ‘yay or nay’ right from your laptop, before even leaving your front door! We find that if two proposed intros both like each other’s profile and ask to meet, there is already a good spark of interest – so it is very comfortable. And yes, it gives a nervous zing and some butterflies, but that is what being alive is all about! (These profiles are anonymous enough that no guy could ever find you or know who you are directly! So you safe to just decline any intros!).
Soooooo, on this lovely cooler morning, here is a long read, but I feel it is my karmic duty to advise and try to assist! A brief orientation chat will explain more, then we can book the no-obligation telephone interview …….it highlights many subconscious thoughts (sifting the throw away ones and keeping the positives) and is quite self-determining – then you know for sure if you ready or not! I have a psychology background and specialise in the single dynamic, so we look carefully at everything.
I know you may still be grieving, but life goes one and transformation is a slow process, grief becomes good memories despite maybe a few hard knocks before, and new adventures and new friends are a pleasure! I do not know your age, but I am now in my sixties so I can assure you – I live a very full and rewarding life and I have the wisdom and luxury to choose what my priorities in life are! BLACH!!
I would to chat – please just give me a day/evening and time to call ……I predict we would have an interesting chat anyway!
Much love and light,
Fond Regards
Shannon
Jan 30, 2018
Hello Shannon,
Thanks for your mail and your concern.
I did receive your mail regarding costs, thank you for that. You are definitely very professional matchmakers as I have spoken to others and they are not nearly as caring as you!
I am just not sure right now about this whole dating thing. Although I am lonely at times, it has only been 17 months since my husband died and I am still toiling with the idea of meeting other men socially. I work with them all the time in business and don’t have a problem with that.
Will keep in touch.
Regards
Wanda
Advice required…..hmmmm, maybe …?????
Sent: 16 October 2017 10:28 PM
To: Perfect Partners Inc
Subject: Advice required…..hmmmm, maybe …?????
Thank you so much for the advice, it really has helped. He is private but has started sharing more with me, especially more personal things. As mentioned, he does spend most of his time with me and truly cares and is there for me and pays attention….so far a perfect match! [expander_maker id=”1″ more=”Read more” less=”Read less”] He has told me what his issues are and what he is dealing with which is a good sign I think and I’m pretty sure there are no secret wives haha For me there definitely is a deeper connection and so I think I’m going to hang on a little longer and see what happens.
Regards LM
Oct 17, 2017
Thanks dear lovely LM, we are so pleased to hear that then, finding love again is never easy – please give it your best and see where it goes!! SB is a very sincere guy and maybe not complicated, just internalises things and often this is just being cautious, which comes over to some as “closed” of even aloof! Still a great match! These personality types may ‘overthink’ some things, but the good thing is they are not reckless or unpredictable!! And one thing for sure, our dear SB has a high moral compass!! This means he really needs to trust as well ………so even if you think things are trivial, just share casually (not sounding like you need the male left brain “Mr. Fixit” which throws men into a panic if they don’t know the why or how!) so that he knows your thoughts and feelings …..share things that make you happy, and things that upset, tell him you just sharing an experience you had…..so that his barometer of where you are at is accurate! It sounds really great then dear LM, please keep us posted, and we wish you all of the best in your next dating experience! ……and something that always works is have FUN!! Men in general are not very inventive (and secretly like that their ladies come up with ideas, of course, as a mutual decision) or creative about fun things (they even think some things are frivolous) but bring that ray of light, humour and just enjoyment to your lives……..and sharing a laugh is the best medicine for everything! I predict you are more extrovert while he is more introvert (not lacking courage or confidence, but because of his cautious nature) and that is a great recipe for success!! Go for it! xxxx
Fond Regards Shannon
[/expander_maker] Perfect PartnersHappily married since 2011!
Hi Shannon I hope you and the Team are doing well and still doing a fine job with all the singles dating out there! It’s been 6 years and counting…since you introduced me to WB. I wonder if you remember…we met in 2010 and got married in 2011. We’ve been happily married ever since and we are very content and very much still in love! [expander_maker id=”1″ more=”Read more” less=”Read less”]
I remember how nervous and scared I was but thanks to your excellent professional matchmaking and guidance, it was so easy and natural, thanks goodness I never risked any dating sites! We are such a perfect match! It felt like you introduced me to one of your friends, and all very natural. We were part of your interracial dating service and fitted together so well. I would like to surprise W on our 6th year wedding anniversary 24 September 2017. I was wondering if you could send me a copy of both our profiles so that I can frame it as a gift. I really hope this is possible, as I know you regard all your clients personal information as highly confidential, he will be so delighted. We met November 2010 and married 24 September 2011. I highly recommend your matchmaking service to all my single friends and am proud to have been part of your exclusive network! Keep up the good work and we send all our blessings to all the singles out there seeking true love – everything is possible if you do it right.
Fond regards, GB
[/expander_maker] Perfect PartnersI find myself wanting to write to you, firstly to share my story and secondly to say an enormous thank you!!
Dear Perfect Partners I find myself wanting to write to you, firstly to share my story and secondly to say an enormous thank you!! Not necessarily in that order… I came across PP by default……… After the ending of a twenty year marriage, I spent ten years completely on my own. Well, that is not entirely true… I had the most incredible time with my children. We were and will always be the most fantastic team. [expander_maker id=”1″ more=”Read more” less=”Read less”] They, in fact, are the very best part of me and my life………………………………… forever and always. Yet, I found myself, from time to time, wondering what it would be like to meet someone and more importantly, if I would ever be blessed enough to fall in love again……. During the time on my own, I spent many, many hours thinking and reflecting and, yes, even acknowledging my part in the breakdown of what I thought would be my forever… Much introspection was accomplished. During that time, Match VIP, crossed my path, but although I met with Bonita, I never followed through. There is much to be said for being in the right space. During 2016, totally unexpectedly, someone came into my life. He was kind but extremely controlling, and I was to find out in a really hard and painful way that I had become involved with a true Narcissist. It shook me and I had some harsh realizations to work through… The hardest thing being that I was prepared to accept the way he treated me, rather than be on my own. It took a monumental effort to pick up the pieces of my life, again, and walk away. Round about the April of 2017 I decided that I had to move on and that I dearly wanted to have someone in my life that I could love… I tried to contact Bonita again – she put me in touch with PP. My story begins… It was very daunting for me…. Photographs, putting into words who and what I was about… not easy …. Alma was wonderful, and she has remained there to listen and guide and be my voice of reason when I was wobbling… I have met five incredibly amazing and awesome men through PP! You are perfectly honest about the great caliber of your fine bachelors! I never thought it possible after my own bad experiences trying it on my own. Each one a true legend in their own way…….. I am putting in names just because they are so worthy of being mentioned and not just a nameless coffee encounter… XXXXXX – a true gentleman…..this is where my confidence started growing! XXXXXXX …… Well, wish it was easier to put feelings into words and have the same effect! He is charming, funny, considerate and an amazing person to be with… He actually knocked my socks off… XXXXXX….. He has a voice that can melt an iceberg… I spent so many wonderful hours and days with him. He made me feel desirable and taught me that at 51, I could still give myself completely on an intimate level… He gave me confidence and belief in myself…………………………………………. XXXXX……………. I love his passion for his fluffy pawed kids. He is full of humour and charm. Would have loved getting to know him better… Finally and the best of all…. XXXXXX…… He has changed my life and my world… He makes me feel like no one else exists when we are together….. It is like time stops. He treats me with love and respect and I am so looking forward to our journey together…… He tells me how beautiful I am… How warm and gentle, soft and fluffy and perfect I am, too. Mostly, I just think he needs his eyes tested!! HaHa… His children are gorgeous and my children just want the best for me… We chat for hours and no matter my fears ( I tend to be a worrier ) he calms them …. He is so even tempered and treats people with respect … When I think of him I see a man of integrity. A family man who will always treat me like a princess….. He spoils me and remembers my favourite things …. even though I may only have briefly mentioned them… He loves that I believe in fairy tales and everything pink, fluffy and sparkly…. I want to make him happy…. I want him to know I will honour him and that he is my knight… that I will always have his back and that he can trust me… Shannon – thank u!! Thank you for the enormous amount of hours and care you put into helping us find our perfect partner…. Thank you for the hours you put into your weekly” words of wisdom…” I have learnt much… Your team are just the best! Alma – the very very best!! Thank you for being there and mailing me when I was falling apart over XXXXXXX… If you speak to him at any time, please tell him I thought he was not just the bees knees- but the whole jolly bee!! And that whenever I listen to Johnny Clegg, I can’t help but think of him and smile, hugely…… I have grown so much since joining PP- I ACTUALLY OWE YOU MORE THAN JUST A THANK YOU… I owe a bright, shiny and happy future to us all… I hope with all my heart that I will never need PP again- but I will stay in touch – your work is done!! Sending loads of pink fluffy love Your pink fluffy lady! XXXXXX
Sep 30, 2017
Hi dear S, What a fabulous email, and you really brought tears to our eyes!! We are so thrilled you found your perfect match and it sure does look for a lifetime journey of great happiness!! We must praise you too – you are a fabulous lady, you have looked after yourself (and do not knock yourself for being 51, you have kept up your good looks and figure and attitude) and in totally honesty, the MOST important thing is your gentle nature and humble ways, even though a highly educated and intelligent lady, you have never been self-important, conceited, opinionated – and never undersell yourself, you may be “pink and fluffy” because you are a gentle natured person and believe in love and moonbeams still, but you are no fool! The fact is you are every guy’s dream because you are just NORMAL and very special, without making any statements or demands. You are also aware of your shortcomings (we all have them angel!), which were quickly sorted through your willingness to accept our guidance!! We know you have truly found a most awesome and fabulous guy, and you will always be his queen! Thanks again for sharing, and we have blogged your story to inspire others seeking the real deal, to find love, and maybe use the services of a professional matchmaker who cares! And yes, it was nerve wracking getting through the interviews (the perfect way to really discover yourself too!) and getting good photos, but nothing in life is worth having unless you work for it! We love you lots and will always remember our lady who still believes in magic and fairy tales,
Fond Regards always, Shannon and Inge and Alma
[/expander_maker] Perfect PartnersA very excited Perfect Partner
Dear Shannon, I was invited by Pieter to visit him on his farm yesterday. This gave me a picture of the real Pieter, he has a lovely home and made a fabulous braai. We had a swim and spent quality time talking. He is so gentle and strong in the same sense and I felt safe. I can see a life together but still early days. [expander_maker id=”1″ more=”Read more” less=”Read less”] We are both cautiously optimistic. And I am showing it – had to take a sleeping tablet last night to get some sleep I was so excited (I feel my life has started over, which just goes to show, you are so right, we must never give up on ourselves – I thought there were no good men left). He is more than what I have prayed about. He will also phone you if he has not yet as he also does not want to meet any more ladies.
From a very excited Perfect Partner, Katrina
[/expander_maker] Perfect PartnersDoes he really love you? or is he MANIPULATING You?
ARE YOU BEING MANIPULATED??
Dear Shannon & team What a wonderful article, I have already shared it with my daughters, both young adults embarking on their life’s journey. In the throes of young and exciting love one can so easily miss these signs and end up in a difficult relationship and this advice is really worth reading. A lesson I learned the hard way many years ago and a reminder never goes amiss. [expander_maker id=”1″ more=”Read more” less=”Read less”] I am very much enjoying all the articles you send. I am so pleased I joined you guys as I am learning new stuff every day and very confident love is around the corner now for me!
Thanks for sharing Best wishes TC
DOES HE REALLY LOVE YOU? OR IS HE MANIPULATING YOU? (Guys, you can read “she” for every “he” because it works both ways!)
Happy Friday again to all our awesome members and we hope the full moon brought fresh starts for you all! It also brings “endings” so this is always sad, but letting go makes space for new things to start! When we weigh our scales of needs and wants, often something has to go to make room for something new, in order to keep balance in our lives. If it is a relationship where you seem to give more than receive, a career you don’t really enjoy, or a situation you have tolerated just too long, it is a good time to review. For some it may be an old “look” or image/style they hang on to…..well, take a long hard look in the mirror and ask yourself “can I improve myself with a “a new me?” as we do get stale! You’re personal branding in these daysis important! In fact a new outfit has hit the headlines “Revenge Makeover SA” (teeth are a must do if not looking so good anymore!) and you can Google and see what amazing things people are doing to fight back, regain their youth, good looks and become more confident! (Not only the ladies, but also the men! Us gals love a stylish and neat man in nice clothes and smelling good!).
Having the smarts and a charming personality helps, but all people are visual, more so the male species, a scientific fact!! But please do not feel inferior if you are not a Poster Pin-Up, everyone has their “imprinted” version of what pleases their eyes and what they find attractive – one person’s frog is another’s prince/princess, and even the most homely people may attract – but still do the best you can. Every pot has a lid! Even a bent lid may do! LOL! Even so, unless you are God’s gift in every way, be reasonable on what you can expect to attract – even Stevens all round, as the Afrikaans saying goes “soort soek soort” – that works best! Today’s article is shared with compliments of Your Tango about manipulation, with a little input from me in red!! From outright narcissism to selfishness or people with their own agendas, there are many signs that will warn you if you know what they are! Much love and light then until next time and have a great weekend,
Fond Regards Shannon
Don’t stay in a relationship with someone who ever says any of these to you.
- “You’re being overly emotional.”
When you’re in a relationship, you should be able to freely express how you feel about a situation as the expectation is the other actually cares. Even if it is trivial, or if it is upsetting you, it’s important that you are able to share this concern with your partner and get some reassurance. Shannon: BUT, it is how you share ….not whinge and whine, but explain gently what would make you happy or improve things! Make it short and logical, not take the other on a trip around the world getting there! But toxic partners are unable to handle the fact that they have caused you to be upset and instead of accepting that and fixing it, they will blame you and your “issues.” It isn’t overly-emotional to be upset when they do something dumb like flirting with others if you have told them makes you feel uncomfortable and it isn’t overly emotional to get angry when they can’t understand why you feel that way, especially when you try to talk to them calmly about it. Shannon: beware defensive reactions! Or excuses!
- “Your feelings aren’t valid.”
Some partners won’t openly say this, instead they will use phrases like, “you shouldn’t be so upset about it” or “it isn’t a big deal”. But it is a big deal and you are allowed to be upset about it. You see, by taking away your feelings, it removes any guilt on their part which allows them to continue being an ass and not consider how their actions will affect you. The main things toxic partners want is to be in control and get away with treating you badly so by saying you shouldn’t feel the way you do, or dismissing your views and feelings, relieves them of feeling guilty for it. But no one can be mad at you for feeling a certain way; no one can take your feelings away from you.
- “I didn’t say that.”
Toxic partners spin webs. They will say one thing during an argument or when trying get out of something and then will go back on it later when you call them out on it. They will claim they never said that, you heard it wrong. You obviously weren’t listening. You imagined it. Again, it’s about control. Unless you record a conversation or argument, it’s their word against yours and they’re adamant you are wrong.You will question yourself, you will wonder if they didn’t say that at all. It’s another way for you to lose your foundation during an argument because you’re so busy trying to work out if they’re right. If they claim they didn’t say it, you have no leg to stand on. You start to question your own sanity!
- “I can’t do anything right.”
Playing the victim means you will feel sorry for them and go to their rescue, suddenly, you don’t want to fight anymore. You will realize you were being unreasonable and apologize for trying to start an argument. Shannon: but there is a breaking point when it plays out too often, and resentment will turn you into a shriveled mess! The worst narcissists can go back to their childhood if necessary to explain why they are so hard done by, blame their families, upbringing and ex’es …..it means they are not only bad problem solvers, they feel the world must forgive them and allow them to bahave like toddlers (see our article on ADULTS BEHAVING LIKE TODDLERS) because a toddler does not problem solving capacity – throwing a tantrum works! Usually when the toxic partner feelings backed into a corner when they know they have done wrong, they will play the sympathy card. They don’t have many friends in town these days so they had to hang out with their ex. That person they talking to on line was a set up by someone playing a joke on you. They didn’t mean to hide their phone or accidently deleted all the stuff there! They talk to others outside of your earshot! They were just being friendly by talking to their co-worker until 3am without telling you because they’re a nice person. Why don’t you want your boyfriend to be a nice person? They are just trying to have interests outside of your relationship because they don’t want to smother you. Why can’t you see that? Why can’t you see they all good fellas?
- “You never trust me.”
Sure, they only cheated on you once. Sure, you only found texts to other girls a couple of times but they’ve been ‘good’ recently. They’ve remained loyal so why when they act shady, do you not believe them? Not feeling able to trust someone after they have constantly broken that trust is only natural. And expecting you to immediately trust them again is unfair. Rebuilding trust takes time. But by them blaming you for having trust issues (which they caused) means it becomes about you and your issues and insecurities rather than the fact they weren’t able to be a decent boyfriend. Suddenly the argument becomes about your lack of trust, your insecurities, your doubts and not what they have done.
- “But you did this.”
They may have been Facebook messaging that girl you said you don’t like, but last year you had a text from your ex you didn’t respond to or you or you told a white lie about something which ultimately wouldn’t have impacted your relationship, but you were open about it, so what cooks here?. But if you’re not perfect either then why are you having a go at them? You are to blame! You have made mistakes too so it doesn’t matter that they lied to you about that night out with the lads or whose number that really was that kept calling late at night. It’s the blame game. Nothing gets solved because they are too preoccupied with scoring points, even if it means making up situations.
- “You’re the most anxious person I have ever dated.”
Loving guys do not compare you to their exes. Especially negatively. Especially during an argument. Especially over something you are already worried about. If they decide to tell you that you are the most anxious or paranoid or insecure person they have dated, get out of there. If someone loves you, they lift you up and support you. They love you, anxieties and insecurities included. They honour you!
- “I didn’t lie; I told you when you asked me.”
There is a huge difference between someone choosing to tell you something and you having to pry it out of them. Sure, they eventually told you but it doesn’t count if you had to repeatedly ask them. However, when you get mad they can claim ‘but I told you about it’ and they cannot seem to understand that them not openly telling you in the first place means they wanted to conceal it. Lying is withholding the truth and choosing not to tell you about something until you pretty much beat it out of them is a lie. Sorry.
- “I’m going to sleep.”
I don’t know anyone who likes going to sleep on an argument. But if a guy can roll over and go to sleep when you are crying or angry, he does not give a shit about you. It’s another way he gets to control the situation, he gets to let you stew over it for hours and not get any sleep and then he will expect you to carry on as normal the next day when nothing has been resolved. It doesn’t matter how long it takes, if he cares he should want you to be able to sleep and to feel reassured and cared for and have whatever it is talked through. If he can easily fall asleep when you’re hurting, he’s not a good guy or worth a sleepless night. Shannon: my mother always told me “never go to sleep without resolving your issues with your loved ones” and it good advice! Even if you agree to disagree, make friends and love each other, you can discuss it calmly tomorrow, but punishing body language is cruel.
- “I’m not willing to be in a relationship with someone who ____.”
A loving relationship does not have ultimatums. It doesn’t matter how heated an argument gets, he should not result to telling you if you don’t change, he will break up with you. It’s his way of making you believe that everything that is wrong about the relationship is your fault and that you are the only one who needs to change your behaviour. The likelihood is, he’s projecting his own downfalls on to you because it’s too hard for him to see flaws within himself. If he gives you an ultimatum, walk away.
[/expander_maker] Perfect PartnersI think that you are placed into peoples lives for a reason
My dear Shannon, I think that you are placed into peoples lives for a reason. Sometimes I wonder how I got so lucky and what I have done to deserve a friend like you. People have come and gone out of my life, but for some reason you never left. Your friendship is one of the greatest gifts I have ever received. You always have time, you always care. [expander_maker id=”1″ more=”Read more” less=”Read less”] I could write a book about the positive affect you have had on my life. Your heart is of the purest that I have ever known and I felt your spirit the second I met you. Your energy and smile radiates and love and compassion that you show for others is special. I am so grateful to be affected and influenced by you. I hope that one day I can be half of the person that you are. You believed in me when I didn’t believe in myself. You loved me when I was hard to love. You listened to me when I didn’t have a voice and let me cry when I was broken. But most importantly, you never give up on me. That is special. You know me to my core. You know what makes me smile and what ticks me off. You can tell in an instant when I am upset and then continue to do everything in your power to make me feel better. If I am going through something, you are the first person to text me to make sure I am okay. When my confidence lags, you reassure me of myself. I have never had a bad moment with you. You fill my life with an immense amount of happiness and love. I know that wherever life takes us, you will be part of my life. If we don’t talk for some time, we pick up right where we left off. Whenever I need you, I know you will always be there. You are the epitome of a beautiful human being. I hope that every person in this world has someone like you in their lives. Shannon, you are the best!
Fond regards BJ
[/expander_maker] Perfect PartnersA VERY HAPPY MEMBER – finding her feet!
My dearest Shannon, I truly appreciate your comforting reply and the time you dedicated to me. Thanks so much for explaining so many things I never thought important – dating is not easy but you have made it such a friendly, safe and pleasurable experience!! I am enjoying meeting your truly eligible bachelors, guys who would NEVER have crossed my path in a lifetime if it was not for you!! [expander_maker id=”1″ more=”Read more” less=”Read less”] I love being sociable again and do not feel invisible and that my life is just a boring treadmill (and no more wasting time online dating) and I know now love will find me when the time is right! Your insight and understanding make me feel I am in good hands. You are very honest and I believe what you say, change the person and the circumstances will change! I am sure you have a very challenging job, but you handle it extremely well. I cannot imagine how you take care of every culture, religion, personality types and age groups, and you certainly have a gift. You do sell “people to people” and not one person is the same ……there surely is no other industry with so much diversity and individual needs! Thank you for your kind words.
Fond regards AK
Jul 19, 2017
You rock!! you really are special dearest AK, and we are loving working with and for you!! There are never any problems, only solutions …….and yes, sometimes I have to say it like it is and it makes my heart cringe as the last thing I ever want is being perceived as uncaring …..I do care HUGELY, and just a little intervention can make so many positive and wonderful things happen!! J I know as a coach my job is to make people feel safe and confident, but I can never play “emperor with no clothes” as telling people things to make them feel better that are not true, is deceiving them and an insult to their intelligence! Only when facing the truth can personal growth happen. I rather be dumped on – my shoulders are broad! LOL! Your wisdom and high EQ is impressive and I am humbled and appreciative you understand! Trust your matchmaker angel – we see the WHOLE bigger picture of every member, as every individual is a friend to us and we often can see potential others may not see – it is impossible to explain in words our instinct, residual knowledge, perceptions and GUT feel sometimes! You are going to find someone awesome – your energy is ‘clear’ and simple and you do not complicate things, you will be fine in this difficult matter of finding a lifetime investment of the heart! So much heartache and sorrow we see here daily – people seeking expert help eventually after making too many mistakes, and bad choices leading to huge trauma in their lives!! A reckless moment can lead to years of troubles!! So our motto is “prevention is better than cure!” …….we see many folk choose to meet based purely on looks and the chemistry rush……oh dear, then they only find out later they do not even really like the person …….after investing huge life force, time and heart quotient. I am glad you are meeting two of our most eligible bachelors ……we are always at your side! xxxxx
Fond Regards Shannon
[/expander_maker] Perfect PartnersA VERY HAPPY COUPLE!
Dear Shannon / Inge & Team I would like to express my sincere thanks and gratitude for activating a match between me and a finely selected “PERFECT PARTNER.” After much hesitation, trepidation, deliberation, and a few prompts and prods from your team asking me to please act upon the profile you sent me, and to respond to your emails, I decided to proceed. [expander_maker id=”1″ more=”Read more” less=”Read less”] We started off with telephonic conversations which would often span hours on end, well after midnight…..this continued for about a month ….before we decided to meet. Needless to say, as confident as I usually am, I was VERY nervous that day, kept wondering how to get through the first few minutes !!!! Well the first thing he showed me when I elegantly arrived, was a picture on his phone of what looked like a tortured specimen of some sort of alien……eerrr,mmmm , .which actually turned out to be his cat soaked in soap suds taking a bath, looking horrendously cute. That broke the ice I suppose, as I chuckled at how nervous we both were that we needed a sopping wet cat to come to photographic rescue ! We had a cocktail together and then proceeded to enjoy a fine meal. I was my normal self, confident yet maintaining my humility, no pretentiousness and made him feel relaxed and comfy. The content of our conversations were and still are varied, intelligent, current, interesting and encapsulated with respect and tolerance for each other’s views. The past is gone and never even worth a mention! Our future is full of “what next!?”.
Our ability to communicate seamlessly with such like-mindedness kept enticing us to keep the communication channels alive. I being an ambivert and he an introvert, has worked out perfectly, as we are both happy in ourselves and compliment and respect our unique qualities whilst celebrating the many things we enjoy in common. We have been together for the past 6 months and it has been nothing less than pure joy and a tantalising delight to the senses, to be in a relationship with a man who is so well grounded, mature, caring, gorgeous, someone who has crept into the crevices of my heart, has me smitten and I can confidently inform you that I have fallen in love with him. We have both been open about our mutual feelings for each other and the visible attraction and chemistry that exists between us. ( He also appreciates my petite little frame and that was one of the attracting factors for him. ) Not a day day goes by without us being in contact, whether it is a quick sms, or a little heartfelt emoji , a telephone call in between breaks or an endearing whatsapp ” thinking of my XXXXX” and my response ” I miss you my XXX” , the emotions that every interaction stirrs up is a feeling that I wish every one of your perfect partners could experience as much as we are. Thank you very much for such a perfect match. I truly love my new man ! We could not have done this without your deep caring help when needed and encouragement to fly and be brave! Also, to always be positive, because we attract what we put out …….my manifestations came true! Attached is a happy picture of us ! Keep up the good work and wishing you many more happy success stories such as ours.
With a heart full of gratitude DA
Jul 13, 2017
Hi again dear angel ….I know we have texted but I wanted to also email and say I am beyond thrilled and pleased for both of you, two people who are very precious to us, never complained and never bugged us, trusting and just waiting and knowing we would find you that ONE perfect match through a process of elimination and some trials……the LAST, hopefully for a lifetime!! You are both very beautiful people in and out!! Patience and belief in us paid off!! You make a stunning couple and your energy is palpable ….gorgeous photo…..we can see you are totally smitten with each other!! I must compliment you too – XXXX was never pretentious at all, but he always knew what he wanted and he never compromised, so well done on nabbing one of our most eligible Platinum bachelors ever!! We are very proud! And yes indeed, your taking care of your petite little frame and staying always naturally healthy and gorgeous won the day ……and your ladylike humility and fine mind had him at “hello”…the door was open to getting deeper into the soul. Please keep in touch!! Always in love and light, love to you both…..
Fond Regards Shannon
[/expander_maker] Perfect PartnersThe Irrational Fear of Being Alone
Hi Shannon, Inge and the PP Team,
Thank you thank you for this great read!!!!. Made my morning. I have only been a member for a few weeks and already I feel substance in being a member as you have held my hand over the first steps with warmth and compassion and I don’t feel like a “dating desperado” but a woman worthy of finding the right match, with a dignified recruiting service. [expander_maker id=”1″ more=”Read more” less=”Read less”] You always communicate and leave nothing to chance. You sure do get me and my needs too! I can truly see why you are rated the most professionals agency in the country, working with professionals …… I just had to share my take on the article. It feels like the writer was speaking to me- she articulated feelings like I would have expressed them on the journey to finding oneself. I was mortified of being alone after a 8 year relationship. But after almost 2 years of being alone, am liberated, peaceful and in the right mental space to welcome love and sunshine in my life. I know myself better and no longer feel that my identity is tied to another individual. I wish more people could have the courage to walk away from a relationship that doesn’t grow them. Fear is the strongest emotion of all in my humble opinion. It crippled me for 8 years. I’m truly happy to be with the PP family and pleased with the “soul food” you’re dishing to nourish us. Have a fabulous weekend Warmly Carol
Hi Carol THE IRRATIONAL FEAR OF BEING ALONE – RESEARCHED FOR YOU THIS WEEK! …a longish read but very good, even for the fundis! (We see clearly that members who read our stuff succeed far quicker than those who don’t! information is power!). …..nobody need ever be alone ……we are doing something about it! even if you are in a relationship, learn to avoid the cracks…… Happy Friday to all our esteemed perfect partners – old and new, and many old members have returned and many newbies are settling in, it promises action for all!! Finally we have some normal weeks ahead, and hope you also have some ‘me time’ for your own needs, remember, balance is key to a healthy and long life! we wish all our new happy couples a loving and thrilling new future – together forever! Many of our members are finding personal sessions with Bonita, Veronica and Thinus have helped tremendously!! Work on the “inner” with our coach ladies, and get the “outer” you have always wished for with Thinus – he guarantees success!! Again our mantra is, if you are not getting the action you hoped for, find the reason – we have the database and do everything we can to find your ideal (and real) and are eternally inviting new members in for all our benefit, because the next newbie may be YOUR match (and still sadly declining many that we know we cannot assist! These are often lovely people and need coaching first because they simply are not yet ready) – so do a little self-search on what you can do to improve outcomes, and work with us. Your attraction factor is your success factor – we cannot deliver love on a plate, being loveable gets you love in return. Days are getting cooler and nights longer, which bodes well for new romance!! We will be sending as many intros next week to everyone, if there are compatible matches!! Love and light then until next time, and please read hereunder ……even if you know it all, a refresh helps! We research tons of stuff every week …..and always try to save you time browsing, by giving you the best! Our comment in blue ….
Fond Regards Shannon
The Irrational Fear of Being Alone
By Susan Winter The fear of being alone is terrifying for most people I know. This paralyzing projection keeps many a couple trapped in a dysfunctional loop of unhappy relations. Though the reasons stated for not separating include children, loss of money or “it’s just not the right time,” at the core of this stasis is a fear of being alone. Someone, it seems, is better than no one.
The fear of being alone is an irrational construct. Alone doesn’t mean “lonely.” Yet, the false premise states that clinging to “another” for safety will somehow guarantee our safety. Security derived from an outer source is impossible. In the absence of our own self-love, we cannot connect to another in a meaningful way.
Staying in an unhappy partnership is viewed as being of greater value than honoring the self. It is fear. Projected fear. The loneliness imagined will only be experienced when not united with our selves. I’ve counseled many people on the merits of being comfortable in their own skin and finding peace within. While this is the answer, it’s astounding how much resistance is given to the concept. Many people just don’t have enough courage to love themselves! Even more reason to speak to one of our Love Gurus…… The reason for this resistance lies in outer identification. We’ve been told through movies, music and literature that we’re incomplete if we’re alone. Only the presence of “another” can alleviate the void we feel inside and make us feel whole. In actuality, we feel the void when we’re not aligned with ourselves. I
t’s folly. But still, the myth continues in the minds of far too many. How enticing the belief that someone else will be the balm to soothe us and the cure to our discontent? And how sad the realization that no one can provide solace for what we lack, inside. If you joined us hoping to find someone to complete you or rescue you, or be a trophy or conquest……….you need to rethink your goals! No outer force that can sooth inner discontent. In pressing our partner to do our work for us, they will certainly fail.Then, they become the problem. Our relationship becomes the problem. The love that was supposed to complete us becomes a battleground of conflicting wills as each holds the other’s happiness in their fickle hands. The fear of being alone is far greater than the real doing of it. Taking time to be alone with ourselves can be the greatest journey of a lifetime. The discovery of what we like, what we feel, what we want and who we really are is liberation at its finest. When actualized, one discovers the delight of a freedom far greater than imagined. After all, the worries and projected fears have passed, there comes the unexpected ah-ha moment — we are fine. Our former avoidance seems ridiculous in hindsight. There is peace and contentment. Then, joy. We realize we have ourselves as good company.
We begin to value the life we have…….and have far more to offer, a value add as a ‘whole person’ to a new love. We learn our fears of being alone were completely unfounded. We create a new platform from which love may grow. When we’ve worked through the fear of being alone, we may assess the validity of our existing partnership. With the pressure off our partner to save us, the relationship that seemed “dead” often finds new life. As we’ve changed, our partner must change in correspondence. From the point of inner connection, we may amend what we have or magnetize new suitors who also like themselves and like us. So many divorced people who join us tell us “I am divorced because he/she did not understand my needs…..” hmmmm, why were you needy in the first place? Why did you not simply ask nicely for what will please you, because your loved one sure as hell wants to please you!! Comfort within one’s self is the best starting point for a new relationship, or for a current love affair in peril. It’s the work that must be done by no one, but us. And, once done… is cherished as the edification of all that we are, and have now become. Unconditional love is born of tolerance, understanding, respect and giving ……..but some only take!
[/expander_maker] Perfect PartnersYou guys do an amazing job
Morning dear Shannon,
How is your long weekend going? Month end has come and now gone………..again J Thanks for asking about my beloved fur friends – dogs are amazing and they say if you want loyalty and a friend………………get a dog J There are so many tearful movies about dogs and their loyalty and one that comes to mind, is the Richard Gere movie set in Japan (can’t remember details) but when RG character died, his dog sat in the same spot in the town square for ages, waiting for his master to come home L J incredible!!! [expander_maker id=”1″ more=”Read more” less=”Read less”] A true story and so profound the story, the Mayor of the town erected a statue of the dog. Dealing with Mr. Public is tough and reading your newsletter, reminded me of when I was a Service Provider for Vodacom in 1994 for five years. It’s wild sometimes J You guys do an amazing job and I remain very impressed at the high calibre of ladies you have offered me in my 6 month spell so far – everyone a potential friend if not The One – and I know we are getting close!! My life has changed dynamically! I wish and hope your members appreciate how hard you work for us all, with such professional care and attention to detail. This is not like any other ‘dating service’ but more like being a member of an exclusive single’s friendship club, with you introducing all your friends to each other!! I do seriously consider you a friend!! When my helicopter is serviced, I plan to meet you all!
Short and sweet and merci bucket, MT
[/expander_maker] Perfect PartnersEXCELLENT ADVICE FROM SHANNON, MUCH APPRECIATED
From: FMF
Sent: 04 January 2017 11:01 PM
To: Perfect Partners Inc
Subject: EXCELLENT ADVICE FROM SHANNON, MUCH APPRECIATED
Dear Shannon Thank you so much for the email and the discussion yesterday, especially as you should be on leave. When I asked to discuss what had happened with XX and I, it was more to get advice and to have a sounding board – I find that dating can really make you doubt yourself sometimes! But in fact I got a whole lot more from you in terms of support and compassion which is what I needed after the very cold sms “cut-off”. [expander_maker id=”1″ more=”Read more” less=”Read less”] I thank you so much for that – the whole conversation was actually quite cathartic for me. I shared some of my minor issues with XX – not excessively so – but I take your point that this could be an issue for him and I need to be more mindful of this given where he is in his life right now. But if he is looking for perfection in me or our relationship, he will not find it…..we can only heed your advice and grow “into” our perfection as we go forward……… I appreciate your experience, guidance, kindness and enthusiasm for this, which is clearly more than just a job for you. You are really amazing and very astute, your ability to get the point quickly is a gift, as we soon had me laughing again, and now XX and I are back on track!
Warm regards FMF
[/expander_maker] Perfect PartnersSuccess story and a wedding in December 2016, single to soulmate!!
Hi dear RP and CM, (and all the ‘family’!) How wonderful to hear from you!! How time flies!! It is hard to believe CM and the three kitties are already fully installed – for keeps! What a fabulous journey it has been …..and I even think many ladies could be envious that RP was very sincere about moving heaven and earth to get his South African beauty, and it has happened, and I can ‘hear’ you are very much in love! CM will morph into a great USA citizen, with her sense of adventure and faith intact! [expander_maker id=”1″ more=”Read more” less=”Read less”] And living in Maine – could not be more perfect! I and the PP Team here wish you the most awesome of weddings on 10th December, we wish we could be there!! PLEASE send us photos! We are extremely fond of you and loved working with and for you – it has been a fabulous success story and will always be a very warm memory! Big hugs to CM, she is brilliant!! What a brave lady ……and a big kiss on the cheek from me dear RP, you are an extra- ordinary man! You knew your Ms. Right from day one! Much love and light for always, Fond Regards Shannon Dear all, and especially our wonderful Matchmakers, Perfect Partners! For 23 years, I lived alone in various parts of the world includng my 2013 move to mid-coast Maine. Now there are 7 living beings here in Harpswell, Maine, USA with 2 more on the way. My journey with Perfect partners was fabulous as I met stunning ladies…..and then my dream came true! The major addition was CM’s arrival in Boston from 10,000 miles away (JHB, SA) on Tuesday. The next night her 3 cats, Charlie, Roxy, and Lily arrived the after a 7 hour drive up here from JFK. Of course my adorable and extremely gentle bulldogs Yale and Kennedy have been now with me over a year. All is smooth so far, fingers crossed CM’s own very small dog Picasso will join us in the middle of next year, and her almost 18 year old son will be here for South African school holidays. He will arrive before the wedding and stay until almost New Years. Again we are both so happy at what seems to be a large positive response as to attending our Saturday Dec 10th wedding at UCONN. Also if any of you know a good photographer with a real camera, we may have a need for that.
Please be in touch any time you wish. We send our warmest to each of you, CM and RP
[/expander_maker] Perfect PartnersSpring has sprung for another great happy couple! …..a very happy story!
Hi Shannon Had dinner with KM last night, I can officially say this man is head over heels. He dotes over me and treats me with care and compliments, just so very, very nice! Best he has NOT pushed himself onto me at all from an intimacy point, that will come … He would like to introduce me to his friends at a dinner on Friday. Then he has asked me to join him in Cape Town when he gets back from the overseas (leaving for 2 weeks on Sat for bus), he wants to introduce me to his two girls at varsity! [expander_maker id=”1″ more=”Read more” less=”Read less”] (That is always a big step when you meet the children, well it is for me!) He has also asked me to join him, his friends and children to his game farm in December before I go away. Then he has asked me to clear March and would like me to come with on a skiing trip in Switzerland. Well …. What can I say. He is dying to meet my two girls, and my precious grandchildren, I made it abundantly clear that my tiny little family means everything to me, he loved that. We chatted a hind leg of a donkey! He treats me 100% like a lady and is certainly hunting big time. All and all it looks like I have turned the corner, and certainly looks like I might be on the eve of a new beginning, now I know what you mean by real transformation, everything has changed, and I was ready after all my duds and practice even. Thank you so very, very much for your patience, loving support, motivation and steadfast determination to find the right guys, you are very caring and professional matchmakers, and also friends. I think it works out to 25 frogs I couldn’t kiss …..… but they were all fabulous charming men of the best calibre. (Except the lawyer from Pretoria, he was creepy) Regards and very best wishes! BF
Oct 6,2016
Wow dear BF, this is just the best ever news!! It sounds divine – what a man!! Long term plans into next year is music to my ears!! You are going to really be happy! The best part is all the family involvement – that is a huge step in the right direction! Enjoy every precious moment and look after yourselves and each other – the gift of love is worth more than anything in the world as you know how ‘aloneness’ can eat at the soul despite all life’s rewards! You deserve love! I truly believe things happen as they should, it is all about timing, and it was your time – and certainly not for lack of trying!! SEE! It happens, it takes just one perfect match! Thanks for the compliments though that all our guys you met were great and real gentleman, that is for sure, just sadly not meant for you ….but ONE was and now you are a very happy and lovely lady!! We have always been very proud to present you out there, with dedication to our cause!! PLEASE keep us posted and we wish you much love and light, for always! xx
Fond Regards Shannon
[/expander_maker] Perfect PartnersCompliment – You are very Professional Matchmakers!
I am very impressed with the personal attention I have consistently been receiving from you all and the general high standards. Being in the service industry myself, I know what it takes and how difficult it is to keep up at times so please extend the compliment to everyone else as well at PP. [expander_maker id=”1″ more=”Read more” less=”Read less”] I have recommended you whenever the topic of conversation has come up. You are very rare people, you really care and you have made a huge difference for me in many ways, your hands-on support is invaluable.
Much appreciated
GL
SHARING THE GRIEF OF LOVE LOS. A beautiful true story, although very sad!
This week we share a beautiful love story, and from it there is some inspiring message of hope and also a reminder that life is too short to waste! We do grieve and mourn here when we lose someone…….you may not realise it but we care about every one of our members!
[expander_maker id=”1″ more=”Read more” less=”Read less”]About four years ago we had a great success story, Ms. X 40, and Mr. Y 48 (for confidentiality sake we do not mention names) and it was a perfect match, they were totally in love and often we heard from them on all their awesome moments and adventures…..until we heard the terrible news that she came home from work one day to find him dead in his chair, a warm coffee cup besides him and the TV on his favourite sport. A perfectly healthy man who gymmed every day, never smoked or drank much or lived dangerously – just gone in a wink from a heart attack! He was in the prime of his life! It was the anniversary of his passing on 21st April and Ms. X sent us the most awesome dedication to her beloved, and it really touched our hearts. In her own words below in response to our condolences:
“Thank you Shannon, your kind words are most inspiring and encouraging. I dont know that I could ever love like this again – I have had too much pain in my life – too many knocks. I waited my whole adult life for this love, this perfect, amazing man. I gave and received 200%. I loved him more than my own life. We were the perfect couple, fitted together hand in glove, thanks to your expert matching and guidance in the early days to give it a chance when we weren’t sure – it was soon a dream come true. It has not gotten any easier with time and I cannot possibly love that way again. I am not ready to start over as he will be the one I love more than life itself. “
So we remind ourselves we do not know for whom the bell tolls …….live and love every day as if it were your last, is not just a cliché……because we only have the present and we havetomorrow, the past can never be brought back except in good memories that can sustain us as we head out ‘alone’ once more. We encourage all our precious members to allow love to find you – it is not the person’s “look”, or their wealth or lack of it, nor their social standing or their achievements and assets, it is purely the beauty of loving, and heart intelligence that can make real love happen between two sincere people – never intellectualise or over think a potential relationship, (does age really matter? Do the little habits and rituals we have make a difference?) give everyone we propose a chance, and rather hone your instincts and follow your heart when the time is right, and leave the door open so love can find you. It proves our point here that we got another email this week from another member who said she is going to explore a new relationship – despite not her ‘type nor my look’ she said, she cannot ignore the huge magnetism and overwhelming chemistry – who would have thought! She is so pleased she gave it a chance!
Bottom line – true love cannot be engineered, manipulated or bought (leave the ‘agendas’ out of the picture too) it is truly a heaven sent gift for the human species, if they allow it to happen! So off we go, seeking on your behalf as always, and hoping that new intros turn out to be magical for you all in the weeks ahead! Don’t give up because we sure do not – you all are fabulous folk and there is someone out there for YOU!
We are more driven than you know to find each one of you a perfect partner!! Your time will come …….be your best, be ready, and if you are not, work on it!
Much love and light until next time …..
Shannon and the PP Team
[/expander_maker] Perfect PartnersTheresa, now non-dating as she is in an AWESOME relationship! wow!
You make me laugh as always!
Its been so so super having you by my side for the last year…. That in itself was extremely supportive… just knowing that you were looking out for me.
Much love
T
Awesome dear Theresa ……indeed, it was serendipitous! It was your time! How utterly fabulous and so exciting, we are so very pleased for you – your new man sounds like one in a million, and it must have been hard for him out there to find someone like you that is so on the same level …..we are so pleased we could help……..you are going to be fine! I love a happy story and magic ending – may you truly be very happy into eternity! You sound perfect for each other! The universe knows ……maybe you had to complete your ‘journey’ of Self first, until the angels knew you were ready!
Much love and light and it has been so awesome working for you, we humbly accept any little gratitude that we may have made a tiny difference, even if it was in learning what you did NOT want!
xxxxx
Fond Regards
Shannon
Hi Shannon!
OMG… what a whirlwind J
I have met my man….. fit, active, super strong, highly intelligent, SUPER intuitive… an empath!!…. fun, gorgeous, a doctor (chiropractor), world travelled with risk management in the health industry! And loves all the sports I do……..just sooooo me and everything I have ever looked for! A strong and sensitive man who is so in touch with his stuff, it puts me to shame!
I have had the most fabulous 4 weeks. It was absolutely our time – a real serendipitous meeting – I was eventually ready for a man like this.
As you can tell – I am over the moon – without any attachment to where this may end up, I am thoroughly enjoying every single moment.
Thank you for all your wonderful help and support…..
Keep well – much love
Theresa
HUGE SUCCESS WITH DATE COACH AND NEW IMAGE
Hi Inge, Shannon and Veronica,
I trust you are well.
I am doing great! I need to compliment you an excellent professional match making service, a really warm, friendly and safe environment and human contact always at hand if I have a wobble!
Inge, your step by step guidance helped me overcome fear, the more I learnt about how this works, the more confident I became. You are a fabulous matchmaker!
Also, your guidance on my “dating image” was incredibly helpful as I now see myself quite differently – my confidence has grown with my improved “looks”! Why did I not bother to look my best before? Perhaps I cared more about everyone else and neglected myself! My new image and make-over took 2 days, and changed my life and it was such fun…..your guidance on what eligible bachelors really like in a lady, opened my eyes. Silly, but I feel I could “date myself” now I like myself so much more! LOL! [expander_maker id=”1″ more=”Read more” less=”Read less”]
I had a session with Veronica yesterday with another tomorrow.
I have had such deep and powerful shifts in my life as a result and I will be eternally grateful to you and Shannon for introducing her me.
These shifts have not just opened me up to men but have also shifted in my son and my people at work. It is true what you all said, I am a magnet now for others and my warmer and friendlier me means others “see” me now!
Thank you again for the intro and for helping in my journey to healing and to be in a position to receive love for the first time in my life.
I am excited for what the future holds and understand there is indeed a lid for every pot, and I accept I may not please everyone always, but those that are attracted by me, will certainly value me for who I am!
My best wishes and keep up the good work for all those singles dating and seeking out there, they really need this professional dating service!
Jennifer-Anne
[/expander_maker]
Perfect Partners
THE TRUTH WILL SET YOU FREE, BUT FIRST IT WILL P*SS YOU OFF!! YOUR MATCH MAKER WANTS YOU TO SUCCEED!
Good morning Shannon,
I hope you are doing fantastic
Thank you for another very informative and enjoyable newsletter………and yes, the truth is sometimes hard to swallow but if people are not getting the successful outcomes they expected, then someone has to help them with the HOW, WHAT and WHEN to up their game on a scale of 1 – 10, and we all do need constructive critique at times! [expander_maker id=”1″ more=”Read more” less=”Read less”]
I think members who take your articles “personally” really have to do some soul searching, look at their self-image and they will find that the articles can only assist to look at our hopes and dreams in a very different light… not an easy exercise but certainly necessary, no soul mate is going to drop out the sky … and I know for myself, I have loved your guidance and my dating experiences have hugely improved and still going strong. I am even about to renew my contract as I feel you are ALL SUCH A GREAT SUPPORT SYSTEM AND PART OF MY LIFE!
Please supply me with the lady that does the profile pics again…….. thanks a mil J
Also please look at my profile info and give me some feedback whether I have enough details needed to portray me as a person and someone that are looking for that Mr. Right and a long term fulfilling relationship……so we can give this another twirl. I have been doing corporate doing for some time before joining you, and honestly, there is NOBODY and nothing nearly as expert, kind and caring as you guys – truly professionals match makers.
Us executives dating out there also need assurance we are safe as we have much to lose if we associate with the wrong people who may have nefarious agendas. I have learnt so much as a woman seeking a man, and that means the right man (and you have introduced me to awesome guys for sure, I just was not truly ready) and my whole “defensive attitude” has changed, and I can own it, I was doing it wrong. There are wonderful men out there!
Have a brilliant Monday and wishing you lots of blessings xxxxxx
Kind Regards
Jane
[/expander_maker] Perfect PartnersYou truly are my soldiers of love!
Hi Shannon
I am so sorry, I have only just read your email. Thank you so much for taking the time to write to me, I truly appreciate it. Firstly, thanks for being such a professional matchmaker! Your personal singles introductions are truly the best!
I have told Allan already and I thought it better to do so as he was really making an effort, texting last night and this morning and he is such a nice man, there honestly was no spark there for me at all and I am so bad at pretending. [expander_maker id=”1″ more=”Read more” less=”Read less”]I also know that he would not have just wanted to be friends 🙂 sadly he is not my perfect partner despite it being an expert match.
I have realised that I dont know what I want or need in a man and maybe I need to figure this out first which is why I have decided to put this on hold for a month or so while I go figure out what it is really want from love and men. I also still seem to hurt too easily 🙂 I thought I was going to be able to “play the field” a bit and find out what I want but feelings are involved and I dont know how to handle that part. I thought dating in this day and age was easy! I may be an executive single lady but I realise how much I need a professional matchmaker NOW TO HELP WITH A DATING GAME PLAN.
I thought I was doing well with John and Allan but truly had no idea that John thought I was only seeing or chatting to him and not settling, we were not even on the same page yet! 🙂 I apologise if I have negatively impacted on PP by telling John myself but perhaps if you just confirm with him what I have told you, he will at least know it is the truth, and you can send him more ideal matches. He asked me, when we were out on our date, what my perfect match would be and I told him that I had no idea.
Maybe when I start again I should look at doing some relationship coaching. I struggle with the grey areas of life and dating definitely is a grey area for me. Amazing how we can get to this age and still be so seemingly incapable of understanding each other or communicating effectively with each other. Dating sites are a waste of time as you do not really know who your perfect match is until too late, singles only social clubs are a bunch of losers! My friends think a guy is awesome – but they haven’t seen him in a romantic context, they are lousy at matchmaking! I truly value your slow and methodical professional singles introductions to screened and profiled guys.
Thank you again Shannon, I am sure you must have your hands full with all of us oh so very mature teenagers! 🙂 🙂
Much love and light to you.
Andrea
xxx
2nd March 2018
Hi dear Andrea,
I meditated on your email and have really so much to encourage you with ……..but the bad news is you will not possibly resolve this vortex you find yourself in if you go off the radar and wait!! You can only learn to ride the horse if you stay in the saddle! Best to start now, at a leisurely pace …….see below….. (and you are not alone, explained hereunder). There is excellent help we can provide in getting you dating executive singles!!
I can share this with you – until my experiences through PP I only realised over 50 what it is all about! Bwahahahahahaha!! I practiced on 3 husbands after all (may they rest in peace) and many flames…..and finally my best ever friend who stood by me while I went through two marriages, came back into my life and taught me how very simple it all is!! it was all about VALUES!! I had the right values like honesty, truthfulness, dedication to what I did, warm and giving blah blah…(maybe tooooo much, maybe I WAS a people pleaser too!)…..but they were hidden under a coat of (shiny) armour hiding a fearful façade ….. from designer clothes to false friends to the high living lifestyle, maybe even vanity and ego!! I was using the wrong things to get approval and find attraction because I thought that was what was needed, comparing myself to “others” who seemed to have it all. No wonder I never found my perfect match! I can write a book!! The quality of my lifestyle has not changed, but my entire value system recognises my abundance now! And I have love….true love! We are a perfect match!
We may never mature, and we may stay teenagers forever, nothing wrong with that angel, because we encourage everyone to keep “their inner child alive” ……..that child could be awed, dazzled, learn new things, had no fear and was not tarnished by life’s disappointments, with naïve belief the world was good, that people are nice to us, that fairness is standard, and love easily found! Then the Hard Knock Café becomes our “space” and we get cynical. Corporate dating is a niche world, despite all the achievements, everyone is still human and vulnerable.
So never lose your inner child – you have something very special and that is why John so over-reacted!! And Allan is really keen!! And I promise, other guys would have loved you for who you are too, given a chance…….if you had your game plan waxed!! J Start fixing at a cellular level! We are your professional matchmakers and will find the best potential!
So many people fret “what is wrong with me, have I lost some heart/brain cells? Will love ever find me?”…where is my soul mate…..and true, they do not know what being loveable is or what they want/need….or how to recognise love when it knocks on the door…….and they end up with a therapist…..and millions of hours and bucks later are often more confused!! (necessary if there is a real psychological pathology….but you are not in this group! You are fabulous! J).
(I don’t know if you read my weekly articles – or were here already yet when I sent out the one on “some people are incapable of love?” …..truly worth reading as it also earmarks co-dependency and narcissistic traits). I can resend!
Just to mention…….it comes as quite a surprise to many single ladies that men are truly capable of adoring, worshipping and loving them unconditionally in this “false truth” decade/era……..especially once they join us!! The mavericks quickly settle in and TRUST then they can invest in a lady they are attracted to again (after their own hard knocks and disappointments)……..then the disappointment, the ladies didn’t know it, the guys are ready to love but the ladies have no idea what they throwing away!
They don’t GET IT! Single society in general lives the farce of instant gratification …..wine/dine me, ravish me then we can all move on (you were not going to stay anyway, so wé!)…or “what is in it for me, now!!”…….with no long-term goal, because life moves too quickly and we live in a throw-away world! (us women are IMPRINTED by the past love-loss, that we are disposable, NO!!!)……let’s take back our power, with hugs and kisses and the feminine goddess we all have within – let her shine! We must have patience and staying power to transformation can happen.
Please know you have NOT let us down …..in fact, you are still an asset on the way to being even a better one! J John respects you even more for being honest …..he gets livid when the above scenario plays out and he is not taken seriously when he was starting to “invest” his gentle heart…….and Allan, same thing (he was very keen), well I will offer a shoulder ….if he needs! Honestly, a bit of ego here if he thought you were falling so quickly……no Allan, much more input needed, but thanks for being so open with your heart! Maybe he learnt something …….you were not one of those to fall into his arms …..yet……J
Love and light as always sweetheart!! Here for you whichever way you choose ……your soldiers of love!
BIG HUGS!!
Fond Regards
Shannon
[/expander_maker] Perfect PartnersA very happy member reports!
Hi Shannon,
I want to tell you how much you have changed my life – a new me, better health and even a love interest! I am determined to keep his interest HOT! I know I stand a better chance if I improve my shape too. [expander_maker id=”1″ more=”Read more” less=”Read less”]
Hey, practice what you preach! LOL! Go for it if you need to lose a few kgs, and do your Kata! You encouraged me so awesomely that time of the match… It’s hard and carbs are the worst, but taste the best, I sympathise with you now. If one can stay focused, it takes 3 weeks to break a habit, then it goes better… I’ve kick started karate again, on a mission now to complete and get my 3rd Dan and lost 5kgs already, I feel fantastic. It’s just my favourite sport and doing a Kata is beautiful!
Hope you have a good evening and don’t have to work too late.
Thanks always and always for your encouraging messages. I really and honestly feel so looked after, safe & hopeful – I know you care and you are the best matchmaker around and even a friend now! I know you will always support me too! Dating sites sucked! I will never go there again! Your calibre of professional men is unbelievable – I thought there were none left on the planet!
Fond wishes,
Angel
[/expander_maker] Perfect PartnersA new member joins Perfect Partners and is very impressed at the process!
Hi Shannon
Many thanks, I am looking forward to the experience, albeit a bit nervous You guys have me so comfortable, the interview was very friendly and caring with tons of gentle guidance, and I do not feel alone anymore, knowing I have guys like you behind me, always a friendly call away! It is comforting to know there is a truly professional matchmaker in our country, I am just sorry I took so long to do this!
Regards
Sally
Feb 25, 2018
Hi dear Sally,
Thanks so much for enquiry and lovely profile, and I do believe you and Inge are chatting, so I am just introducing myself! We love your profile – you sound exactly like the kind of lady our professional, stable and yummy bachelors seek (they are also not desperate but love our recruitment and personal introduction process as they also want the best ‘love investment’ for a lasting love story) so you are in good company! On the contrary, our kinda guys are NOT intimidated by independent and strong ladies – this is actually what they seek, as long as they are feminine and not using ‘masculine power’ and are bullies or bossy ……..this info we will be sharing and it is quite an eye opener what truly good guys want! Feminine power is awesome – the very seat of nurturing our species, so they admire this in a lady …….they just do not want to date a ‘buddy’ who competes on their territory like a male.
Enjoy your interaction with Inge …..we are process driven and have been acclaimed as the elite matchmakers in the country, with some 12 years experience and thousands of happy couples on our books (or rather, off our books! LoL). She will explain all the processes, the next steps and look after you well. We take responsibility for all our actions and work with, and for you!
Much love and light,
Fond Regards
Shannon
CEO/Matchmaker/Coach (specialising in the single dyamic at all levels for the individual needs, ‘date ready’ preparation, your hands-on, expert prfilers – always a call away!).
[/expander_maker] Perfect PartnersThe right moment is now!
Good Morning Shannon
I am sending you the best and biggest virtual hug I can conjure up this morning. Thank you for your most beautiful words, empathy and advice. What a journey you is! I agree, why wait! Having had these few days without male attention again forces me to acknowledge that I do want to love and be loved so hey, I need to find out how to do this again!! I love learning and I am currently doing a life coaching course myself and so I understand you when you say it is about “values” and I have been questioning mine for a while now in an attempt to understand myself better. [expander_maker id=”1″ more=”Read more” less=”Read less”] I realise though that when it comes to relationships I am so confused as to what my values are, especially in this phase of my life! I am going to contact Veronica this morning and get going. Have the most beautiful day.
Much love and light to you
Xxxx
Verona
23rd Feb. 2018
Ahhhh my darling Verona, I have tears in my eyes, dinkum!! A HUGE virtual hug back!!
I so know where you are coming from, been there myself, and there was no help, I was not a basket case that needed a shrink……I had to learn the hard way!! When I became an accredited coach it helped me “arrange” my thoughts and with the help of my colleagues and friends who are also coaches, I quickly caught up and all my experiences in life and love came together….…if only I was only 50 years old now to benefit more from my deepest insights!!
BUT, I believe God and the universe meant for me to be here where I am now, helping my sistas and other women who have gone through these agonising moments!! J It truly is my karmic calling ….hee hee, maybe my “give back” to evolve to a new level for the next life is my purpose, and repair what I messed up in the past life! J I sure as hell want to come back next time much smarter!! LOL!!
Even though a coach myself, I find I definitely need neutral help from experts like Veronica and Katie, one cannot be the chef and the gourmet diner! I have alerted Veronica you will be calling – you will love her too!
Veronica would love to hear from you – ……….jump to it soonest, you can truly find what you seek when you know YOU better, and what you really want! You are so lovely, and it is not for nothing you are so popular!! Men crave to meet women like you …….I will expand on this in my newsletter!
I am hugely relieved, because we all know “waiting until later” is procrastination……which is fear of failing!! If you were shallow and plastic, I would have just bowed to your choices, and waited then. LOVE YOU!!
I am so inspired I think my newsletter today will be about this finding love thing, dedicated to you (no mention of names), from a different perspective, not an article, but more a question and answer session – with a situation similar to yours!
Tons of love and light for a Fabulous Friday!!
xxxxxx
Fond Regards
Shannon
[/expander_maker] Perfect PartnersVery happy with coaching service! Thanks Veronica!
Hi Veronica
Thank you for our session yesterday. You have affirmed that I am on the right track to look for my own special friend and hopefully to find love again. I feel more confident about presenting the best of me (photo shoot today!) and actively looking out for potential partners, even among the friends I have had for years or the men I come into contact with through work, though I do of course hope that Perfect Partners will find “the one”! My experience so far has been great – your whole team of matchmakers has made a big difference to my views on the business of find love again. [expander_maker id=”1″ more=”Read more” less=”Read less”]You do a wonderful job and must help so many people. Very special. I now realise this takes a dating strategy and is not a hit-and-miss, even though you are my matchmakers, I need to check out every “potential” that crosses my path – I have been hiding for too long! It is true I need to let “others” know I am available and not wait in my ivory tower. Many thanks, Catherine
[/expander_maker] Perfect PartnersWelcome to a very special bachelor!
THANKS FOR RESTORING MY BELIEF – I AM READY TO FIND LOVE AGAIN!
Hi dear Shannon and Inge,
Thank you so much for the sensitive way in which you have dealt with me over the past ten days and your dedication and patience – I was very nervous and sceptical and almost ready to give up on ever finding a genuine lady who just wants a guy to love her and give her everything he can and who can appreciate love as a divine gift, such a simple and natural necessity in our existence – for what else is the purpose of working so hard and being a better person when you have nobody to share it with? I have been so let down recently, finding ladies only see the material things and are so uncaring and selfish, I am not a robot but a very warm hearted guy. [expander_maker id=”1″ more=”Read more” less=”Read less”] I am highly respected at the highest level in my career, but overlooked as a just a man seeking a partner. I feel like something is wrong with ME! You have restored my confidence and now realise I have been looking in the wrong places and too eager to please making me look needy (now understand I am allowed my boundaries too, life is a two-way street afterall) so am joining now as a Diamond Member because I believe investing in your services means in return you will invest in me, and so far you have done more for me than anyone else on a personal level in years! I do feel very safe and now looking forward to my new adventure in the world of dating! You guys are tuly professional matchmakers with plenty of heart!
Fond regards Allan
06 Feb. 2018
Hi there dear Allan, thank you so much for the time spent chatting to Inge – you have made a really good impression and you really touched her heart and mine – we hear this often from really successful singles and it is a sad fact you guys become a target for other’s evil agendas and often are exploited and used, so we truly understand!! We understand that many ladies too are disillusioned and think men in general are shallow, and this perpetuates the cycle of living without real meaning – and yes, what is life/achievement without sharing with someone who cares? Precisely why we are here!! We provide both a safe and friendly environment of likeminded singles with the same needs, dreams and views of a happy life shred with an adored and adoring partner. Even though us gals are empowered now (strong and independent) there is nothing like a fabulous strong arm to lean on through all life’s ups and downs. I have attached your invoice as requested, and look forward to bringing you into “the family” soonest and welcoming you on board! I would also love to make your acquaintance as we will be working closely on your strategy, and getting you prepared for your new adventure!! I have a few very workable ideas already! Can I call you this afternoon? Always in love and light then until later,
Fond Regards Shannon
[/expander_maker] Perfect PartnersThe busy-busy syndrom, FOMO, being too busy can be an excuse – you need to make time for yourself if you are dating!
Awesome dear Nic, coming from you we are very flattered you found this hitting the spot!! Thanks for reading our article on what men are really seeking, we do wish more ladies would take heed – we do know how busy you are so thanks for reading!! I also see you comment often how busy you are – it seems time does not favour you often (also the flurry with Vivienne on time keeping) and it does make me think and wonder to ask, do you put your foot down and draw your line in the sand when people are time vampires? [expander_maker id=”1″ more=”Read more” less=”Read less”]
Do you always wish to help and be there for them, at your own expense – because angel, you also need your sacred space in time! I recognise this trait in myself and force myself every day to try and say “later” …or “as soon as I can but not until…”..and prioritise or delegate, and actually, the world didn’t end if I attend first thing the next day or when needed!! I am driven to get it all done TODAY, NOW, this minute …….but actually, does it really make a difference? “Busy-ness” can also be a subconscious foil for fear of being forgotten, left out, missing out (FOMO), or appearing slack ….then we get lost in time and look disorganised…hee hee, so which is the best option? I do agree though if a rugby match is running over time, no WAY can you not watch the final minutes!! LOL!! a lady should forgive a man this transgression!! (But then is she runs late, it works both ways!) We have activated your latest date …..please do not call at “inappropriate” hour, like after 8pm, unless you text and explain you in a meeting whatever, and they happy with it!! also try to meet soonest …….long drawn out texts over more than a week get under a lady’s skin and you start falling from grace! J We understand not easy when you are a busy professional, but every positive move helps ..the sooner the better!!
Fond Regards Shannon
[/expander_maker] Perfect PartnersThank you! My life is transforming
Dear Shannon,
Thank you very much for the extended session this morning. I am so more confident now with meeting great worthy bachelors and I know I am worth a great catch! I am able now to keep an open mind, as my quotation says, and up for all challenges in the language of love. [expander_maker id=”1″ more=”Read more” less=”Read less”]
It was hugely insightful. You are an incredible date coach, you get to the point in the kindest way and our profiling is spot on – I trust you as my matchmaker with all my heart! I realise I have made many bad choices because I was attracted to the ‘wrong elements’, but I now have more depth.
I look forward to learning to put some of your suggestions and ideas into practice and working at it.
It is really great to have someone so committed, straight forward and honest to work beside me.
I know you will call me when you need to but more importantly guide and support me to develop my confidence and my tactics
Thank you for your incredible dedication.
With gratitude
Candy
Single and alone? It is never too late to start again!
Hi dear Wanda,
Ahhhhh, how I got immediate insight to your situation!! All my experience, insights and instincts just went “boom” into place! I just so understand your situation! I have been there! In fact after a divorce I remarried and then was widowed, so starting over twice has been one of my personal strengths! I wish I had a personal matchmaker back then to ‘recruit’ for me! [expander_maker id=”1″ more=”Read more” less=”Read less”]
When I retired from the corporate world in all things ‘human sciences’ I decided to start Perfect Partners with the goal, mainly, of helping others to start over by offering a professional matchmaking service with a human touch – a voice people can talk to. We are unlike any other dating site! I had experienced both times quite a shift in my social scene (my married friends seemed to disappear or were scarce) as I started out – my lifestyle was different and getting into a world of Singles was quite hairy! I had no shortage of suitors but felt very vulnerable! A sensitive matchmaking service to look out for me would have been very welcome! Some of them were quite an experience. I do enjoy my own time and company, but I realised I had to find my niche in this new world ……which I successfully did (I tried a few so-called elite single dating sites but it was awful) and now can happily profess that I am in a very wonderful relationship with a guy who is also my best friend! We still respect each other’s space and maintain our individuality (in fact we are chalk and cheese as he is quite the pedantic analyst and realist, while I am more the academic romantic) and we balance each other out, always interesting and never a dull moment as we approach things from different viewpoints but manage to come to the same outcomes!
I do recommend a no-obligation chat on how personal matchmaking works – we can explain that this new adventure is one of purely networking with a chosen (you get to choose from our prospects who have been relatively well screened as stable, healthy (mind, body and soul) and committed (no baggage, sad sacks or players or perverts) and normal selection of great guys – you are only making friends and opening new doors to possibilities! You only start ‘dating’ once there is mutual attraction).
Love will find you when the time is right and it is never predictable! I can see you are not needy, co-dependent or desperate (sorry, but these descriptors fit most singles out there, hence we are so careful who we sign up but we also help those that need our ‘date coaching’ to get passed these issues so they can confidently enjoy our matchmaking service) so making new friends just means a nice new dimension to your current life……at your pace and in your own time! Everyone who wants to try this matchmaking exercise seems to start with the final outcome in mind, envisioning (in panic) a sudden committed relationship with a new person invading your space, virtually a faceless stranger! LoL! That is flipping scary! Nope, it does not happen this way ….it is a slow process of just getting comfortable and can be hugely rewarding as it is such a gift to mix and mingle with new friends!
The norm is to receive one or too good matches a month, maybe even more depending on your own pace, so that you can spend time getting to know each other slowly. (All our protocols and strategies are in place after our brief ‘induction’ to settle you with your own plans). This is NOT like internet when you get a barrage of hundreds of hits from men clamouring and knocking you over! It is tasteful, selective and respectful……and fun! You would get a concise CV and current pics by email of every proposed intro, so you can ‘yay or nay’ right from your laptop, before even leaving your front door! We find that if two proposed intros both like each other’s profile and ask to meet, there is already a good spark of interest – so it is very comfortable. And yes, it gives a nervous zing and some butterflies, but that is what being alive is all about! (These profiles are anonymous enough that no guy could ever find you or know who you are directly! So you safe to just decline any intros!).
Soooooo, on this lovely cooler morning, here is a long read, but I feel it is my karmic duty to advise and try to assist! A brief orientation chat will explain more, then we can book the no-obligation telephone interview …….it highlights many subconscious thoughts (sifting the throw away ones and keeping the positives) and is quite self-determining – then you know for sure if you ready or not! I have a psychology background and specialise in the single dynamic, so we look carefully at everything.
I know you may still be grieving, but life goes one and transformation is a slow process, grief becomes good memories despite maybe a few hard knocks before, and new adventures and new friends are a pleasure! I do not know your age, but I am now in my sixties so I can assure you – I live a very full and rewarding life and I have the wisdom and luxury to choose what my priorities in life are! BLACH!!
I would to chat – please just give me a day/evening and time to call ……I predict we would have an interesting chat anyway!
Much love and light,
Fond Regards
Shannon
Jan 30, 2018
Hello Shannon,
Thanks for your mail and your concern.
I did receive your mail regarding costs, thank you for that. You are definitely very professional matchmakers as I have spoken to others and they are not nearly as caring as you!
I am just not sure right now about this whole dating thing. Although I am lonely at times, it has only been 17 months since my husband died and I am still toiling with the idea of meeting other men socially. I work with them all the time in business and don’t have a problem with that.
Will keep in touch.
Regards
Wanda
Advice required…..hmmmm, maybe …?????
Sent: 16 October 2017 10:28 PM
To: Perfect Partners Inc
Subject: Advice required…..hmmmm, maybe …?????
Thank you so much for the advice, it really has helped. He is private but has started sharing more with me, especially more personal things. As mentioned, he does spend most of his time with me and truly cares and is there for me and pays attention….so far a perfect match! [expander_maker id=”1″ more=”Read more” less=”Read less”] He has told me what his issues are and what he is dealing with which is a good sign I think and I’m pretty sure there are no secret wives haha For me there definitely is a deeper connection and so I think I’m going to hang on a little longer and see what happens.
Regards LM
Oct 17, 2017
Thanks dear lovely LM, we are so pleased to hear that then, finding love again is never easy – please give it your best and see where it goes!! SB is a very sincere guy and maybe not complicated, just internalises things and often this is just being cautious, which comes over to some as “closed” of even aloof! Still a great match! These personality types may ‘overthink’ some things, but the good thing is they are not reckless or unpredictable!! And one thing for sure, our dear SB has a high moral compass!! This means he really needs to trust as well ………so even if you think things are trivial, just share casually (not sounding like you need the male left brain “Mr. Fixit” which throws men into a panic if they don’t know the why or how!) so that he knows your thoughts and feelings …..share things that make you happy, and things that upset, tell him you just sharing an experience you had…..so that his barometer of where you are at is accurate! It sounds really great then dear LM, please keep us posted, and we wish you all of the best in your next dating experience! ……and something that always works is have FUN!! Men in general are not very inventive (and secretly like that their ladies come up with ideas, of course, as a mutual decision) or creative about fun things (they even think some things are frivolous) but bring that ray of light, humour and just enjoyment to your lives……..and sharing a laugh is the best medicine for everything! I predict you are more extrovert while he is more introvert (not lacking courage or confidence, but because of his cautious nature) and that is a great recipe for success!! Go for it! xxxx
Fond Regards Shannon
[/expander_maker] Perfect PartnersHappily married since 2011!
Hi Shannon I hope you and the Team are doing well and still doing a fine job with all the singles dating out there! It’s been 6 years and counting…since you introduced me to WB. I wonder if you remember…we met in 2010 and got married in 2011. We’ve been happily married ever since and we are very content and very much still in love! [expander_maker id=”1″ more=”Read more” less=”Read less”]
I remember how nervous and scared I was but thanks to your excellent professional matchmaking and guidance, it was so easy and natural, thanks goodness I never risked any dating sites! We are such a perfect match! It felt like you introduced me to one of your friends, and all very natural. We were part of your interracial dating service and fitted together so well. I would like to surprise W on our 6th year wedding anniversary 24 September 2017. I was wondering if you could send me a copy of both our profiles so that I can frame it as a gift. I really hope this is possible, as I know you regard all your clients personal information as highly confidential, he will be so delighted. We met November 2010 and married 24 September 2011. I highly recommend your matchmaking service to all my single friends and am proud to have been part of your exclusive network! Keep up the good work and we send all our blessings to all the singles out there seeking true love – everything is possible if you do it right.
Fond regards, GB
[/expander_maker] Perfect PartnersI find myself wanting to write to you, firstly to share my story and secondly to say an enormous thank you!!
Dear Perfect Partners I find myself wanting to write to you, firstly to share my story and secondly to say an enormous thank you!! Not necessarily in that order… I came across PP by default……… After the ending of a twenty year marriage, I spent ten years completely on my own. Well, that is not entirely true… I had the most incredible time with my children. We were and will always be the most fantastic team. [expander_maker id=”1″ more=”Read more” less=”Read less”] They, in fact, are the very best part of me and my life………………………………… forever and always. Yet, I found myself, from time to time, wondering what it would be like to meet someone and more importantly, if I would ever be blessed enough to fall in love again……. During the time on my own, I spent many, many hours thinking and reflecting and, yes, even acknowledging my part in the breakdown of what I thought would be my forever… Much introspection was accomplished. During that time, Match VIP, crossed my path, but although I met with Bonita, I never followed through. There is much to be said for being in the right space. During 2016, totally unexpectedly, someone came into my life. He was kind but extremely controlling, and I was to find out in a really hard and painful way that I had become involved with a true Narcissist. It shook me and I had some harsh realizations to work through… The hardest thing being that I was prepared to accept the way he treated me, rather than be on my own. It took a monumental effort to pick up the pieces of my life, again, and walk away. Round about the April of 2017 I decided that I had to move on and that I dearly wanted to have someone in my life that I could love… I tried to contact Bonita again – she put me in touch with PP. My story begins… It was very daunting for me…. Photographs, putting into words who and what I was about… not easy …. Alma was wonderful, and she has remained there to listen and guide and be my voice of reason when I was wobbling… I have met five incredibly amazing and awesome men through PP! You are perfectly honest about the great caliber of your fine bachelors! I never thought it possible after my own bad experiences trying it on my own. Each one a true legend in their own way…….. I am putting in names just because they are so worthy of being mentioned and not just a nameless coffee encounter… XXXXXX – a true gentleman…..this is where my confidence started growing! XXXXXXX …… Well, wish it was easier to put feelings into words and have the same effect! He is charming, funny, considerate and an amazing person to be with… He actually knocked my socks off… XXXXXX….. He has a voice that can melt an iceberg… I spent so many wonderful hours and days with him. He made me feel desirable and taught me that at 51, I could still give myself completely on an intimate level… He gave me confidence and belief in myself…………………………………………. XXXXX……………. I love his passion for his fluffy pawed kids. He is full of humour and charm. Would have loved getting to know him better… Finally and the best of all…. XXXXXX…… He has changed my life and my world… He makes me feel like no one else exists when we are together….. It is like time stops. He treats me with love and respect and I am so looking forward to our journey together…… He tells me how beautiful I am… How warm and gentle, soft and fluffy and perfect I am, too. Mostly, I just think he needs his eyes tested!! HaHa… His children are gorgeous and my children just want the best for me… We chat for hours and no matter my fears ( I tend to be a worrier ) he calms them …. He is so even tempered and treats people with respect … When I think of him I see a man of integrity. A family man who will always treat me like a princess….. He spoils me and remembers my favourite things …. even though I may only have briefly mentioned them… He loves that I believe in fairy tales and everything pink, fluffy and sparkly…. I want to make him happy…. I want him to know I will honour him and that he is my knight… that I will always have his back and that he can trust me… Shannon – thank u!! Thank you for the enormous amount of hours and care you put into helping us find our perfect partner…. Thank you for the hours you put into your weekly” words of wisdom…” I have learnt much… Your team are just the best! Alma – the very very best!! Thank you for being there and mailing me when I was falling apart over XXXXXXX… If you speak to him at any time, please tell him I thought he was not just the bees knees- but the whole jolly bee!! And that whenever I listen to Johnny Clegg, I can’t help but think of him and smile, hugely…… I have grown so much since joining PP- I ACTUALLY OWE YOU MORE THAN JUST A THANK YOU… I owe a bright, shiny and happy future to us all… I hope with all my heart that I will never need PP again- but I will stay in touch – your work is done!! Sending loads of pink fluffy love Your pink fluffy lady! XXXXXX
Sep 30, 2017
Hi dear S, What a fabulous email, and you really brought tears to our eyes!! We are so thrilled you found your perfect match and it sure does look for a lifetime journey of great happiness!! We must praise you too – you are a fabulous lady, you have looked after yourself (and do not knock yourself for being 51, you have kept up your good looks and figure and attitude) and in totally honesty, the MOST important thing is your gentle nature and humble ways, even though a highly educated and intelligent lady, you have never been self-important, conceited, opinionated – and never undersell yourself, you may be “pink and fluffy” because you are a gentle natured person and believe in love and moonbeams still, but you are no fool! The fact is you are every guy’s dream because you are just NORMAL and very special, without making any statements or demands. You are also aware of your shortcomings (we all have them angel!), which were quickly sorted through your willingness to accept our guidance!! We know you have truly found a most awesome and fabulous guy, and you will always be his queen! Thanks again for sharing, and we have blogged your story to inspire others seeking the real deal, to find love, and maybe use the services of a professional matchmaker who cares! And yes, it was nerve wracking getting through the interviews (the perfect way to really discover yourself too!) and getting good photos, but nothing in life is worth having unless you work for it! We love you lots and will always remember our lady who still believes in magic and fairy tales,
Fond Regards always, Shannon and Inge and Alma
[/expander_maker] Perfect PartnersA very excited Perfect Partner
Dear Shannon, I was invited by Pieter to visit him on his farm yesterday. This gave me a picture of the real Pieter, he has a lovely home and made a fabulous braai. We had a swim and spent quality time talking. He is so gentle and strong in the same sense and I felt safe. I can see a life together but still early days. [expander_maker id=”1″ more=”Read more” less=”Read less”] We are both cautiously optimistic. And I am showing it – had to take a sleeping tablet last night to get some sleep I was so excited (I feel my life has started over, which just goes to show, you are so right, we must never give up on ourselves – I thought there were no good men left). He is more than what I have prayed about. He will also phone you if he has not yet as he also does not want to meet any more ladies.
From a very excited Perfect Partner, Katrina
[/expander_maker] Perfect PartnersDoes he really love you? or is he MANIPULATING You?
ARE YOU BEING MANIPULATED??
Dear Shannon & team What a wonderful article, I have already shared it with my daughters, both young adults embarking on their life’s journey. In the throes of young and exciting love one can so easily miss these signs and end up in a difficult relationship and this advice is really worth reading. A lesson I learned the hard way many years ago and a reminder never goes amiss. [expander_maker id=”1″ more=”Read more” less=”Read less”] I am very much enjoying all the articles you send. I am so pleased I joined you guys as I am learning new stuff every day and very confident love is around the corner now for me!
Thanks for sharing Best wishes TC
DOES HE REALLY LOVE YOU? OR IS HE MANIPULATING YOU? (Guys, you can read “she” for every “he” because it works both ways!)
Happy Friday again to all our awesome members and we hope the full moon brought fresh starts for you all! It also brings “endings” so this is always sad, but letting go makes space for new things to start! When we weigh our scales of needs and wants, often something has to go to make room for something new, in order to keep balance in our lives. If it is a relationship where you seem to give more than receive, a career you don’t really enjoy, or a situation you have tolerated just too long, it is a good time to review. For some it may be an old “look” or image/style they hang on to…..well, take a long hard look in the mirror and ask yourself “can I improve myself with a “a new me?” as we do get stale! You’re personal branding in these daysis important! In fact a new outfit has hit the headlines “Revenge Makeover SA” (teeth are a must do if not looking so good anymore!) and you can Google and see what amazing things people are doing to fight back, regain their youth, good looks and become more confident! (Not only the ladies, but also the men! Us gals love a stylish and neat man in nice clothes and smelling good!).
Having the smarts and a charming personality helps, but all people are visual, more so the male species, a scientific fact!! But please do not feel inferior if you are not a Poster Pin-Up, everyone has their “imprinted” version of what pleases their eyes and what they find attractive – one person’s frog is another’s prince/princess, and even the most homely people may attract – but still do the best you can. Every pot has a lid! Even a bent lid may do! LOL! Even so, unless you are God’s gift in every way, be reasonable on what you can expect to attract – even Stevens all round, as the Afrikaans saying goes “soort soek soort” – that works best! Today’s article is shared with compliments of Your Tango about manipulation, with a little input from me in red!! From outright narcissism to selfishness or people with their own agendas, there are many signs that will warn you if you know what they are! Much love and light then until next time and have a great weekend,
Fond Regards Shannon
Don’t stay in a relationship with someone who ever says any of these to you.
- “You’re being overly emotional.”
When you’re in a relationship, you should be able to freely express how you feel about a situation as the expectation is the other actually cares. Even if it is trivial, or if it is upsetting you, it’s important that you are able to share this concern with your partner and get some reassurance. Shannon: BUT, it is how you share ….not whinge and whine, but explain gently what would make you happy or improve things! Make it short and logical, not take the other on a trip around the world getting there! But toxic partners are unable to handle the fact that they have caused you to be upset and instead of accepting that and fixing it, they will blame you and your “issues.” It isn’t overly-emotional to be upset when they do something dumb like flirting with others if you have told them makes you feel uncomfortable and it isn’t overly emotional to get angry when they can’t understand why you feel that way, especially when you try to talk to them calmly about it. Shannon: beware defensive reactions! Or excuses!
- “Your feelings aren’t valid.”
Some partners won’t openly say this, instead they will use phrases like, “you shouldn’t be so upset about it” or “it isn’t a big deal”. But it is a big deal and you are allowed to be upset about it. You see, by taking away your feelings, it removes any guilt on their part which allows them to continue being an ass and not consider how their actions will affect you. The main things toxic partners want is to be in control and get away with treating you badly so by saying you shouldn’t feel the way you do, or dismissing your views and feelings, relieves them of feeling guilty for it. But no one can be mad at you for feeling a certain way; no one can take your feelings away from you.
- “I didn’t say that.”
Toxic partners spin webs. They will say one thing during an argument or when trying get out of something and then will go back on it later when you call them out on it. They will claim they never said that, you heard it wrong. You obviously weren’t listening. You imagined it. Again, it’s about control. Unless you record a conversation or argument, it’s their word against yours and they’re adamant you are wrong.You will question yourself, you will wonder if they didn’t say that at all. It’s another way for you to lose your foundation during an argument because you’re so busy trying to work out if they’re right. If they claim they didn’t say it, you have no leg to stand on. You start to question your own sanity!
- “I can’t do anything right.”
Playing the victim means you will feel sorry for them and go to their rescue, suddenly, you don’t want to fight anymore. You will realize you were being unreasonable and apologize for trying to start an argument. Shannon: but there is a breaking point when it plays out too often, and resentment will turn you into a shriveled mess! The worst narcissists can go back to their childhood if necessary to explain why they are so hard done by, blame their families, upbringing and ex’es …..it means they are not only bad problem solvers, they feel the world must forgive them and allow them to bahave like toddlers (see our article on ADULTS BEHAVING LIKE TODDLERS) because a toddler does not problem solving capacity – throwing a tantrum works! Usually when the toxic partner feelings backed into a corner when they know they have done wrong, they will play the sympathy card. They don’t have many friends in town these days so they had to hang out with their ex. That person they talking to on line was a set up by someone playing a joke on you. They didn’t mean to hide their phone or accidently deleted all the stuff there! They talk to others outside of your earshot! They were just being friendly by talking to their co-worker until 3am without telling you because they’re a nice person. Why don’t you want your boyfriend to be a nice person? They are just trying to have interests outside of your relationship because they don’t want to smother you. Why can’t you see that? Why can’t you see they all good fellas?
- “You never trust me.”
Sure, they only cheated on you once. Sure, you only found texts to other girls a couple of times but they’ve been ‘good’ recently. They’ve remained loyal so why when they act shady, do you not believe them? Not feeling able to trust someone after they have constantly broken that trust is only natural. And expecting you to immediately trust them again is unfair. Rebuilding trust takes time. But by them blaming you for having trust issues (which they caused) means it becomes about you and your issues and insecurities rather than the fact they weren’t able to be a decent boyfriend. Suddenly the argument becomes about your lack of trust, your insecurities, your doubts and not what they have done.
- “But you did this.”
They may have been Facebook messaging that girl you said you don’t like, but last year you had a text from your ex you didn’t respond to or you or you told a white lie about something which ultimately wouldn’t have impacted your relationship, but you were open about it, so what cooks here?. But if you’re not perfect either then why are you having a go at them? You are to blame! You have made mistakes too so it doesn’t matter that they lied to you about that night out with the lads or whose number that really was that kept calling late at night. It’s the blame game. Nothing gets solved because they are too preoccupied with scoring points, even if it means making up situations.
- “You’re the most anxious person I have ever dated.”
Loving guys do not compare you to their exes. Especially negatively. Especially during an argument. Especially over something you are already worried about. If they decide to tell you that you are the most anxious or paranoid or insecure person they have dated, get out of there. If someone loves you, they lift you up and support you. They love you, anxieties and insecurities included. They honour you!
- “I didn’t lie; I told you when you asked me.”
There is a huge difference between someone choosing to tell you something and you having to pry it out of them. Sure, they eventually told you but it doesn’t count if you had to repeatedly ask them. However, when you get mad they can claim ‘but I told you about it’ and they cannot seem to understand that them not openly telling you in the first place means they wanted to conceal it. Lying is withholding the truth and choosing not to tell you about something until you pretty much beat it out of them is a lie. Sorry.
- “I’m going to sleep.”
I don’t know anyone who likes going to sleep on an argument. But if a guy can roll over and go to sleep when you are crying or angry, he does not give a shit about you. It’s another way he gets to control the situation, he gets to let you stew over it for hours and not get any sleep and then he will expect you to carry on as normal the next day when nothing has been resolved. It doesn’t matter how long it takes, if he cares he should want you to be able to sleep and to feel reassured and cared for and have whatever it is talked through. If he can easily fall asleep when you’re hurting, he’s not a good guy or worth a sleepless night. Shannon: my mother always told me “never go to sleep without resolving your issues with your loved ones” and it good advice! Even if you agree to disagree, make friends and love each other, you can discuss it calmly tomorrow, but punishing body language is cruel.
- “I’m not willing to be in a relationship with someone who ____.”
A loving relationship does not have ultimatums. It doesn’t matter how heated an argument gets, he should not result to telling you if you don’t change, he will break up with you. It’s his way of making you believe that everything that is wrong about the relationship is your fault and that you are the only one who needs to change your behaviour. The likelihood is, he’s projecting his own downfalls on to you because it’s too hard for him to see flaws within himself. If he gives you an ultimatum, walk away.
[/expander_maker] Perfect PartnersI think that you are placed into peoples lives for a reason
My dear Shannon, I think that you are placed into peoples lives for a reason. Sometimes I wonder how I got so lucky and what I have done to deserve a friend like you. People have come and gone out of my life, but for some reason you never left. Your friendship is one of the greatest gifts I have ever received. You always have time, you always care. [expander_maker id=”1″ more=”Read more” less=”Read less”] I could write a book about the positive affect you have had on my life. Your heart is of the purest that I have ever known and I felt your spirit the second I met you. Your energy and smile radiates and love and compassion that you show for others is special. I am so grateful to be affected and influenced by you. I hope that one day I can be half of the person that you are. You believed in me when I didn’t believe in myself. You loved me when I was hard to love. You listened to me when I didn’t have a voice and let me cry when I was broken. But most importantly, you never give up on me. That is special. You know me to my core. You know what makes me smile and what ticks me off. You can tell in an instant when I am upset and then continue to do everything in your power to make me feel better. If I am going through something, you are the first person to text me to make sure I am okay. When my confidence lags, you reassure me of myself. I have never had a bad moment with you. You fill my life with an immense amount of happiness and love. I know that wherever life takes us, you will be part of my life. If we don’t talk for some time, we pick up right where we left off. Whenever I need you, I know you will always be there. You are the epitome of a beautiful human being. I hope that every person in this world has someone like you in their lives. Shannon, you are the best!
Fond regards BJ
[/expander_maker] Perfect PartnersA VERY HAPPY MEMBER – finding her feet!
My dearest Shannon, I truly appreciate your comforting reply and the time you dedicated to me. Thanks so much for explaining so many things I never thought important – dating is not easy but you have made it such a friendly, safe and pleasurable experience!! I am enjoying meeting your truly eligible bachelors, guys who would NEVER have crossed my path in a lifetime if it was not for you!! [expander_maker id=”1″ more=”Read more” less=”Read less”] I love being sociable again and do not feel invisible and that my life is just a boring treadmill (and no more wasting time online dating) and I know now love will find me when the time is right! Your insight and understanding make me feel I am in good hands. You are very honest and I believe what you say, change the person and the circumstances will change! I am sure you have a very challenging job, but you handle it extremely well. I cannot imagine how you take care of every culture, religion, personality types and age groups, and you certainly have a gift. You do sell “people to people” and not one person is the same ……there surely is no other industry with so much diversity and individual needs! Thank you for your kind words.
Fond regards AK
Jul 19, 2017
You rock!! you really are special dearest AK, and we are loving working with and for you!! There are never any problems, only solutions …….and yes, sometimes I have to say it like it is and it makes my heart cringe as the last thing I ever want is being perceived as uncaring …..I do care HUGELY, and just a little intervention can make so many positive and wonderful things happen!! J I know as a coach my job is to make people feel safe and confident, but I can never play “emperor with no clothes” as telling people things to make them feel better that are not true, is deceiving them and an insult to their intelligence! Only when facing the truth can personal growth happen. I rather be dumped on – my shoulders are broad! LOL! Your wisdom and high EQ is impressive and I am humbled and appreciative you understand! Trust your matchmaker angel – we see the WHOLE bigger picture of every member, as every individual is a friend to us and we often can see potential others may not see – it is impossible to explain in words our instinct, residual knowledge, perceptions and GUT feel sometimes! You are going to find someone awesome – your energy is ‘clear’ and simple and you do not complicate things, you will be fine in this difficult matter of finding a lifetime investment of the heart! So much heartache and sorrow we see here daily – people seeking expert help eventually after making too many mistakes, and bad choices leading to huge trauma in their lives!! A reckless moment can lead to years of troubles!! So our motto is “prevention is better than cure!” …….we see many folk choose to meet based purely on looks and the chemistry rush……oh dear, then they only find out later they do not even really like the person …….after investing huge life force, time and heart quotient. I am glad you are meeting two of our most eligible bachelors ……we are always at your side! xxxxx
Fond Regards Shannon
[/expander_maker] Perfect PartnersA VERY HAPPY COUPLE!
Dear Shannon / Inge & Team I would like to express my sincere thanks and gratitude for activating a match between me and a finely selected “PERFECT PARTNER.” After much hesitation, trepidation, deliberation, and a few prompts and prods from your team asking me to please act upon the profile you sent me, and to respond to your emails, I decided to proceed. [expander_maker id=”1″ more=”Read more” less=”Read less”] We started off with telephonic conversations which would often span hours on end, well after midnight…..this continued for about a month ….before we decided to meet. Needless to say, as confident as I usually am, I was VERY nervous that day, kept wondering how to get through the first few minutes !!!! Well the first thing he showed me when I elegantly arrived, was a picture on his phone of what looked like a tortured specimen of some sort of alien……eerrr,mmmm , .which actually turned out to be his cat soaked in soap suds taking a bath, looking horrendously cute. That broke the ice I suppose, as I chuckled at how nervous we both were that we needed a sopping wet cat to come to photographic rescue ! We had a cocktail together and then proceeded to enjoy a fine meal. I was my normal self, confident yet maintaining my humility, no pretentiousness and made him feel relaxed and comfy. The content of our conversations were and still are varied, intelligent, current, interesting and encapsulated with respect and tolerance for each other’s views. The past is gone and never even worth a mention! Our future is full of “what next!?”.
Our ability to communicate seamlessly with such like-mindedness kept enticing us to keep the communication channels alive. I being an ambivert and he an introvert, has worked out perfectly, as we are both happy in ourselves and compliment and respect our unique qualities whilst celebrating the many things we enjoy in common. We have been together for the past 6 months and it has been nothing less than pure joy and a tantalising delight to the senses, to be in a relationship with a man who is so well grounded, mature, caring, gorgeous, someone who has crept into the crevices of my heart, has me smitten and I can confidently inform you that I have fallen in love with him. We have both been open about our mutual feelings for each other and the visible attraction and chemistry that exists between us. ( He also appreciates my petite little frame and that was one of the attracting factors for him. ) Not a day day goes by without us being in contact, whether it is a quick sms, or a little heartfelt emoji , a telephone call in between breaks or an endearing whatsapp ” thinking of my XXXXX” and my response ” I miss you my XXX” , the emotions that every interaction stirrs up is a feeling that I wish every one of your perfect partners could experience as much as we are. Thank you very much for such a perfect match. I truly love my new man ! We could not have done this without your deep caring help when needed and encouragement to fly and be brave! Also, to always be positive, because we attract what we put out …….my manifestations came true! Attached is a happy picture of us ! Keep up the good work and wishing you many more happy success stories such as ours.
With a heart full of gratitude DA
Jul 13, 2017
Hi again dear angel ….I know we have texted but I wanted to also email and say I am beyond thrilled and pleased for both of you, two people who are very precious to us, never complained and never bugged us, trusting and just waiting and knowing we would find you that ONE perfect match through a process of elimination and some trials……the LAST, hopefully for a lifetime!! You are both very beautiful people in and out!! Patience and belief in us paid off!! You make a stunning couple and your energy is palpable ….gorgeous photo…..we can see you are totally smitten with each other!! I must compliment you too – XXXX was never pretentious at all, but he always knew what he wanted and he never compromised, so well done on nabbing one of our most eligible Platinum bachelors ever!! We are very proud! And yes indeed, your taking care of your petite little frame and staying always naturally healthy and gorgeous won the day ……and your ladylike humility and fine mind had him at “hello”…the door was open to getting deeper into the soul. Please keep in touch!! Always in love and light, love to you both…..
Fond Regards Shannon
[/expander_maker] Perfect PartnersThe Irrational Fear of Being Alone
Hi Shannon, Inge and the PP Team,
Thank you thank you for this great read!!!!. Made my morning. I have only been a member for a few weeks and already I feel substance in being a member as you have held my hand over the first steps with warmth and compassion and I don’t feel like a “dating desperado” but a woman worthy of finding the right match, with a dignified recruiting service. [expander_maker id=”1″ more=”Read more” less=”Read less”] You always communicate and leave nothing to chance. You sure do get me and my needs too! I can truly see why you are rated the most professionals agency in the country, working with professionals …… I just had to share my take on the article. It feels like the writer was speaking to me- she articulated feelings like I would have expressed them on the journey to finding oneself. I was mortified of being alone after a 8 year relationship. But after almost 2 years of being alone, am liberated, peaceful and in the right mental space to welcome love and sunshine in my life. I know myself better and no longer feel that my identity is tied to another individual. I wish more people could have the courage to walk away from a relationship that doesn’t grow them. Fear is the strongest emotion of all in my humble opinion. It crippled me for 8 years. I’m truly happy to be with the PP family and pleased with the “soul food” you’re dishing to nourish us. Have a fabulous weekend Warmly Carol
Hi Carol THE IRRATIONAL FEAR OF BEING ALONE – RESEARCHED FOR YOU THIS WEEK! …a longish read but very good, even for the fundis! (We see clearly that members who read our stuff succeed far quicker than those who don’t! information is power!). …..nobody need ever be alone ……we are doing something about it! even if you are in a relationship, learn to avoid the cracks…… Happy Friday to all our esteemed perfect partners – old and new, and many old members have returned and many newbies are settling in, it promises action for all!! Finally we have some normal weeks ahead, and hope you also have some ‘me time’ for your own needs, remember, balance is key to a healthy and long life! we wish all our new happy couples a loving and thrilling new future – together forever! Many of our members are finding personal sessions with Bonita, Veronica and Thinus have helped tremendously!! Work on the “inner” with our coach ladies, and get the “outer” you have always wished for with Thinus – he guarantees success!! Again our mantra is, if you are not getting the action you hoped for, find the reason – we have the database and do everything we can to find your ideal (and real) and are eternally inviting new members in for all our benefit, because the next newbie may be YOUR match (and still sadly declining many that we know we cannot assist! These are often lovely people and need coaching first because they simply are not yet ready) – so do a little self-search on what you can do to improve outcomes, and work with us. Your attraction factor is your success factor – we cannot deliver love on a plate, being loveable gets you love in return. Days are getting cooler and nights longer, which bodes well for new romance!! We will be sending as many intros next week to everyone, if there are compatible matches!! Love and light then until next time, and please read hereunder ……even if you know it all, a refresh helps! We research tons of stuff every week …..and always try to save you time browsing, by giving you the best! Our comment in blue ….
Fond Regards Shannon
The Irrational Fear of Being Alone
By Susan Winter The fear of being alone is terrifying for most people I know. This paralyzing projection keeps many a couple trapped in a dysfunctional loop of unhappy relations. Though the reasons stated for not separating include children, loss of money or “it’s just not the right time,” at the core of this stasis is a fear of being alone. Someone, it seems, is better than no one.
The fear of being alone is an irrational construct. Alone doesn’t mean “lonely.” Yet, the false premise states that clinging to “another” for safety will somehow guarantee our safety. Security derived from an outer source is impossible. In the absence of our own self-love, we cannot connect to another in a meaningful way.
Staying in an unhappy partnership is viewed as being of greater value than honoring the self. It is fear. Projected fear. The loneliness imagined will only be experienced when not united with our selves. I’ve counseled many people on the merits of being comfortable in their own skin and finding peace within. While this is the answer, it’s astounding how much resistance is given to the concept. Many people just don’t have enough courage to love themselves! Even more reason to speak to one of our Love Gurus…… The reason for this resistance lies in outer identification. We’ve been told through movies, music and literature that we’re incomplete if we’re alone. Only the presence of “another” can alleviate the void we feel inside and make us feel whole. In actuality, we feel the void when we’re not aligned with ourselves. I
t’s folly. But still, the myth continues in the minds of far too many. How enticing the belief that someone else will be the balm to soothe us and the cure to our discontent? And how sad the realization that no one can provide solace for what we lack, inside. If you joined us hoping to find someone to complete you or rescue you, or be a trophy or conquest……….you need to rethink your goals! No outer force that can sooth inner discontent. In pressing our partner to do our work for us, they will certainly fail.Then, they become the problem. Our relationship becomes the problem. The love that was supposed to complete us becomes a battleground of conflicting wills as each holds the other’s happiness in their fickle hands. The fear of being alone is far greater than the real doing of it. Taking time to be alone with ourselves can be the greatest journey of a lifetime. The discovery of what we like, what we feel, what we want and who we really are is liberation at its finest. When actualized, one discovers the delight of a freedom far greater than imagined. After all, the worries and projected fears have passed, there comes the unexpected ah-ha moment — we are fine. Our former avoidance seems ridiculous in hindsight. There is peace and contentment. Then, joy. We realize we have ourselves as good company.
We begin to value the life we have…….and have far more to offer, a value add as a ‘whole person’ to a new love. We learn our fears of being alone were completely unfounded. We create a new platform from which love may grow. When we’ve worked through the fear of being alone, we may assess the validity of our existing partnership. With the pressure off our partner to save us, the relationship that seemed “dead” often finds new life. As we’ve changed, our partner must change in correspondence. From the point of inner connection, we may amend what we have or magnetize new suitors who also like themselves and like us. So many divorced people who join us tell us “I am divorced because he/she did not understand my needs…..” hmmmm, why were you needy in the first place? Why did you not simply ask nicely for what will please you, because your loved one sure as hell wants to please you!! Comfort within one’s self is the best starting point for a new relationship, or for a current love affair in peril. It’s the work that must be done by no one, but us. And, once done… is cherished as the edification of all that we are, and have now become. Unconditional love is born of tolerance, understanding, respect and giving ……..but some only take!
[/expander_maker] Perfect PartnersYou guys do an amazing job
Morning dear Shannon,
How is your long weekend going? Month end has come and now gone………..again J Thanks for asking about my beloved fur friends – dogs are amazing and they say if you want loyalty and a friend………………get a dog J There are so many tearful movies about dogs and their loyalty and one that comes to mind, is the Richard Gere movie set in Japan (can’t remember details) but when RG character died, his dog sat in the same spot in the town square for ages, waiting for his master to come home L J incredible!!! [expander_maker id=”1″ more=”Read more” less=”Read less”] A true story and so profound the story, the Mayor of the town erected a statue of the dog. Dealing with Mr. Public is tough and reading your newsletter, reminded me of when I was a Service Provider for Vodacom in 1994 for five years. It’s wild sometimes J You guys do an amazing job and I remain very impressed at the high calibre of ladies you have offered me in my 6 month spell so far – everyone a potential friend if not The One – and I know we are getting close!! My life has changed dynamically! I wish and hope your members appreciate how hard you work for us all, with such professional care and attention to detail. This is not like any other ‘dating service’ but more like being a member of an exclusive single’s friendship club, with you introducing all your friends to each other!! I do seriously consider you a friend!! When my helicopter is serviced, I plan to meet you all!
Short and sweet and merci bucket, MT
[/expander_maker] Perfect PartnersEXCELLENT ADVICE FROM SHANNON, MUCH APPRECIATED
From: FMF
Sent: 04 January 2017 11:01 PM
To: Perfect Partners Inc
Subject: EXCELLENT ADVICE FROM SHANNON, MUCH APPRECIATED
Dear Shannon Thank you so much for the email and the discussion yesterday, especially as you should be on leave. When I asked to discuss what had happened with XX and I, it was more to get advice and to have a sounding board – I find that dating can really make you doubt yourself sometimes! But in fact I got a whole lot more from you in terms of support and compassion which is what I needed after the very cold sms “cut-off”. [expander_maker id=”1″ more=”Read more” less=”Read less”] I thank you so much for that – the whole conversation was actually quite cathartic for me. I shared some of my minor issues with XX – not excessively so – but I take your point that this could be an issue for him and I need to be more mindful of this given where he is in his life right now. But if he is looking for perfection in me or our relationship, he will not find it…..we can only heed your advice and grow “into” our perfection as we go forward……… I appreciate your experience, guidance, kindness and enthusiasm for this, which is clearly more than just a job for you. You are really amazing and very astute, your ability to get the point quickly is a gift, as we soon had me laughing again, and now XX and I are back on track!
Warm regards FMF
[/expander_maker] Perfect PartnersSuccess story and a wedding in December 2016, single to soulmate!!
Hi dear RP and CM, (and all the ‘family’!) How wonderful to hear from you!! How time flies!! It is hard to believe CM and the three kitties are already fully installed – for keeps! What a fabulous journey it has been …..and I even think many ladies could be envious that RP was very sincere about moving heaven and earth to get his South African beauty, and it has happened, and I can ‘hear’ you are very much in love! CM will morph into a great USA citizen, with her sense of adventure and faith intact! [expander_maker id=”1″ more=”Read more” less=”Read less”] And living in Maine – could not be more perfect! I and the PP Team here wish you the most awesome of weddings on 10th December, we wish we could be there!! PLEASE send us photos! We are extremely fond of you and loved working with and for you – it has been a fabulous success story and will always be a very warm memory! Big hugs to CM, she is brilliant!! What a brave lady ……and a big kiss on the cheek from me dear RP, you are an extra- ordinary man! You knew your Ms. Right from day one! Much love and light for always, Fond Regards Shannon Dear all, and especially our wonderful Matchmakers, Perfect Partners! For 23 years, I lived alone in various parts of the world includng my 2013 move to mid-coast Maine. Now there are 7 living beings here in Harpswell, Maine, USA with 2 more on the way. My journey with Perfect partners was fabulous as I met stunning ladies…..and then my dream came true! The major addition was CM’s arrival in Boston from 10,000 miles away (JHB, SA) on Tuesday. The next night her 3 cats, Charlie, Roxy, and Lily arrived the after a 7 hour drive up here from JFK. Of course my adorable and extremely gentle bulldogs Yale and Kennedy have been now with me over a year. All is smooth so far, fingers crossed CM’s own very small dog Picasso will join us in the middle of next year, and her almost 18 year old son will be here for South African school holidays. He will arrive before the wedding and stay until almost New Years. Again we are both so happy at what seems to be a large positive response as to attending our Saturday Dec 10th wedding at UCONN. Also if any of you know a good photographer with a real camera, we may have a need for that.
Please be in touch any time you wish. We send our warmest to each of you, CM and RP
[/expander_maker] Perfect PartnersSpring has sprung for another great happy couple! …..a very happy story!
Hi Shannon Had dinner with KM last night, I can officially say this man is head over heels. He dotes over me and treats me with care and compliments, just so very, very nice! Best he has NOT pushed himself onto me at all from an intimacy point, that will come … He would like to introduce me to his friends at a dinner on Friday. Then he has asked me to join him in Cape Town when he gets back from the overseas (leaving for 2 weeks on Sat for bus), he wants to introduce me to his two girls at varsity! [expander_maker id=”1″ more=”Read more” less=”Read less”] (That is always a big step when you meet the children, well it is for me!) He has also asked me to join him, his friends and children to his game farm in December before I go away. Then he has asked me to clear March and would like me to come with on a skiing trip in Switzerland. Well …. What can I say. He is dying to meet my two girls, and my precious grandchildren, I made it abundantly clear that my tiny little family means everything to me, he loved that. We chatted a hind leg of a donkey! He treats me 100% like a lady and is certainly hunting big time. All and all it looks like I have turned the corner, and certainly looks like I might be on the eve of a new beginning, now I know what you mean by real transformation, everything has changed, and I was ready after all my duds and practice even. Thank you so very, very much for your patience, loving support, motivation and steadfast determination to find the right guys, you are very caring and professional matchmakers, and also friends. I think it works out to 25 frogs I couldn’t kiss …..… but they were all fabulous charming men of the best calibre. (Except the lawyer from Pretoria, he was creepy) Regards and very best wishes! BF
Oct 6,2016
Wow dear BF, this is just the best ever news!! It sounds divine – what a man!! Long term plans into next year is music to my ears!! You are going to really be happy! The best part is all the family involvement – that is a huge step in the right direction! Enjoy every precious moment and look after yourselves and each other – the gift of love is worth more than anything in the world as you know how ‘aloneness’ can eat at the soul despite all life’s rewards! You deserve love! I truly believe things happen as they should, it is all about timing, and it was your time – and certainly not for lack of trying!! SEE! It happens, it takes just one perfect match! Thanks for the compliments though that all our guys you met were great and real gentleman, that is for sure, just sadly not meant for you ….but ONE was and now you are a very happy and lovely lady!! We have always been very proud to present you out there, with dedication to our cause!! PLEASE keep us posted and we wish you much love and light, for always! xx
Fond Regards Shannon
[/expander_maker] Perfect PartnersCompliment – You are very Professional Matchmakers!
I am very impressed with the personal attention I have consistently been receiving from you all and the general high standards. Being in the service industry myself, I know what it takes and how difficult it is to keep up at times so please extend the compliment to everyone else as well at PP. [expander_maker id=”1″ more=”Read more” less=”Read less”] I have recommended you whenever the topic of conversation has come up. You are very rare people, you really care and you have made a huge difference for me in many ways, your hands-on support is invaluable.
Much appreciated
GL
SHARING THE GRIEF OF LOVE LOS. A beautiful true story, although very sad!
This week we share a beautiful love story, and from it there is some inspiring message of hope and also a reminder that life is too short to waste! We do grieve and mourn here when we lose someone…….you may not realise it but we care about every one of our members!
[expander_maker id=”1″ more=”Read more” less=”Read less”]About four years ago we had a great success story, Ms. X 40, and Mr. Y 48 (for confidentiality sake we do not mention names) and it was a perfect match, they were totally in love and often we heard from them on all their awesome moments and adventures…..until we heard the terrible news that she came home from work one day to find him dead in his chair, a warm coffee cup besides him and the TV on his favourite sport. A perfectly healthy man who gymmed every day, never smoked or drank much or lived dangerously – just gone in a wink from a heart attack! He was in the prime of his life! It was the anniversary of his passing on 21st April and Ms. X sent us the most awesome dedication to her beloved, and it really touched our hearts. In her own words below in response to our condolences:
“Thank you Shannon, your kind words are most inspiring and encouraging. I dont know that I could ever love like this again – I have had too much pain in my life – too many knocks. I waited my whole adult life for this love, this perfect, amazing man. I gave and received 200%. I loved him more than my own life. We were the perfect couple, fitted together hand in glove, thanks to your expert matching and guidance in the early days to give it a chance when we weren’t sure – it was soon a dream come true. It has not gotten any easier with time and I cannot possibly love that way again. I am not ready to start over as he will be the one I love more than life itself. “
So we remind ourselves we do not know for whom the bell tolls …….live and love every day as if it were your last, is not just a cliché……because we only have the present and we havetomorrow, the past can never be brought back except in good memories that can sustain us as we head out ‘alone’ once more. We encourage all our precious members to allow love to find you – it is not the person’s “look”, or their wealth or lack of it, nor their social standing or their achievements and assets, it is purely the beauty of loving, and heart intelligence that can make real love happen between two sincere people – never intellectualise or over think a potential relationship, (does age really matter? Do the little habits and rituals we have make a difference?) give everyone we propose a chance, and rather hone your instincts and follow your heart when the time is right, and leave the door open so love can find you. It proves our point here that we got another email this week from another member who said she is going to explore a new relationship – despite not her ‘type nor my look’ she said, she cannot ignore the huge magnetism and overwhelming chemistry – who would have thought! She is so pleased she gave it a chance!
Bottom line – true love cannot be engineered, manipulated or bought (leave the ‘agendas’ out of the picture too) it is truly a heaven sent gift for the human species, if they allow it to happen! So off we go, seeking on your behalf as always, and hoping that new intros turn out to be magical for you all in the weeks ahead! Don’t give up because we sure do not – you all are fabulous folk and there is someone out there for YOU!
We are more driven than you know to find each one of you a perfect partner!! Your time will come …….be your best, be ready, and if you are not, work on it!
Much love and light until next time …..
Shannon and the PP Team
[/expander_maker] Perfect PartnersTheresa, now non-dating as she is in an AWESOME relationship! wow!
You make me laugh as always!
Its been so so super having you by my side for the last year…. That in itself was extremely supportive… just knowing that you were looking out for me.
Much love
T
Awesome dear Theresa ……indeed, it was serendipitous! It was your time! How utterly fabulous and so exciting, we are so very pleased for you – your new man sounds like one in a million, and it must have been hard for him out there to find someone like you that is so on the same level …..we are so pleased we could help……..you are going to be fine! I love a happy story and magic ending – may you truly be very happy into eternity! You sound perfect for each other! The universe knows ……maybe you had to complete your ‘journey’ of Self first, until the angels knew you were ready!
Much love and light and it has been so awesome working for you, we humbly accept any little gratitude that we may have made a tiny difference, even if it was in learning what you did NOT want!
xxxxx
Fond Regards
Shannon
Hi Shannon!
OMG… what a whirlwind J
I have met my man….. fit, active, super strong, highly intelligent, SUPER intuitive… an empath!!…. fun, gorgeous, a doctor (chiropractor), world travelled with risk management in the health industry! And loves all the sports I do……..just sooooo me and everything I have ever looked for! A strong and sensitive man who is so in touch with his stuff, it puts me to shame!
I have had the most fabulous 4 weeks. It was absolutely our time – a real serendipitous meeting – I was eventually ready for a man like this.
As you can tell – I am over the moon – without any attachment to where this may end up, I am thoroughly enjoying every single moment.
Thank you for all your wonderful help and support…..
Keep well – much love
Theresa