Shannon, an expert matchmaker and date coach shares advice on the first baby steps to finding love again. She says she immediately jumps to the first 3 angles of this thing called the “games of love”, because finding love is a step-by-step game that just has to be learnt, and only by doing the steps do we then know if we “get it” in that particular game we are in because all games are played by rules.
By joining her agency you are never paying for “love” or a partner who will be dropped at off your door, but making an investment in your own safety and future success in love because a good dating agency will find and introduce you to awesome prospects you are free to explore possibilities with! Finding the RIGHT other, The One, at the RIGHT time and under the RIGHT conditions is excellent groundwork for starting a new romance. No Tinder swindlers or risks!! No fakes or flakes but Singles like you also seeking to settle with their eventual beloved.
It it really Love on a First Date?
Attraction is of course the first step and key to starting any new moves in the dating game that triggers interest. Often it is a healthy mixture of lust and hope and a hormonal rush of feeling over the moon! The first step is finding attraction and hoping it lasts long enough to get to know the Object of Your Affection, and entails all the flirting and wooing a new romance needs to flourish. And it often has to escalate to intimacy too because that is part of being compatible – seeing the physical side of expressing love for the right reasons and not just as a human base need, and more, then the rest follows…….
….that being step two, how compatible are we then, do we address the needs of each other, have the same views on life (or can be open to transformation in our lifestyles to actually accommodate one another, not just for a day, week or month, but actually invest in a lifetime of sharing). Can we forsake all others (because that is what is asked from the Bible if we marry) and adjust and adapt our normal patterns to become a team that embraces all the other aspects of a healthy life, accommodating all the important people in both our lives (as a role model and example, especially to children and family) wholeheartedly, and be loyal, honest and always willing to negotiate each other’s needs by supporting and encouraging and developing together? Getting on like a house on fire and great pillow talk is but a mere fraction of the dedication needed in this new game!
Dating and Intimacy, When is the timing right?
If this seems to be more difficult than at first expected (when the courting and “honeymoon period” starts to settle and realities of life impact) the question is then obvious, “are we/you/me ready for this commitment?”…..long story short, many folks do believe they absolutely want long and exclusive and loving relationships but they have not worked out their roadmap on how real this is, not just hopes and dreams but the downright truth of “forever after”!
Sadly, only once they realise that if “working on it” or “giving it a chance may bring the total buy-in forever” they realise they are ill-equipped, lack experience, bad experiences still linger and have not been dealt with (quick fixes in love being a set pattern from old poor imprinting, and many other ways humans believe love is happening when it is in reality “not quite right”.). Not being truly meant for each other, which is hard to admit, when it looked so right, was right for a while ….and many other things we hang on to by hoping it “will come right” is ignoring the obvious red flags! We can be mighty savvy and clued in from reading, going to workshops, studying the gurus and philosophers …..but each individual needs to unpack their issues, clear them, and actually have a roadmap to finding love….so the road ahead is clear for the glue to set in a new relationship.
A New Start in Dating Consciously
Shannon goes on by stating that thirdly, it is never to be seen as failure when a new romance crashes and burns! She quotes from an article she read written by a lady who saw the relief in her romance ending: “Being dumped was actually a blessing!” and the lady expresses that in hindsight she was saved from a future that could have been hell, “as much as we truly were into each other, it simply would never have worked” she ends it by saying she has learnt to accept we all have to explore, investigate and have a game plan which is part of our major life plan……….and that is all back to step one in the games of love ….????…..we have to feel our hormones zing, we have to have wild imaginations, hope and see life through rose tinted glasses and spin off the walls! We are hardwired as humans to HOPE, dream and even convince ourselves…..and that is why nature plays this wicked trick of chemistry (dopamine and oxytocin shoot sky high to eye-blind us to the “warts and all” in the beginning, but usually only for about 2 months, by which time it is time for a reality check) until we get used to the negatives, adapt to them and negotiate needs…….
Are they the right choice in the love games?
We can play games and not be serious about lasting love, or we can make sure we set out with the right game plan!! The answer? We see truly here that relationships are a life-long undertaking and a huge responsibility …..and many Singles are so longing for love they believe it is all they need to conquer all. If they are smart they do that reality check eventually, hopefully not after the wedding! Once the chemistry subsides it is all about the nuts and bolts of truly sharing from the heart. Being better prepared then helps us choose better and wait a little longer, and helps us grow new neuro-pathways in understanding it is not all just great sex, thrills and champers and walking on Cloud 9!
We do the exploring and we expand our framework of reference by shopping around a bit first, best on a safe platform with a reputable dating agency (I do believe we say this often but maybe now it is more clear why we keep pushing this) and we realise we HAVE to experiment and trial ……but keep our wits about us …..not give “it” all away too soon anyway…..
Finding the “Right” fit for your Heart with your Dating Agency.
And finally, we also see here that suddenly, one day, it is just the RIGHT person, the timing is RIGHT and the road ahead is RIGHT (with all the traps and potholes but seen together as a journey, no blame or shame, co-dependency or neediness)….and that is truly, truly loving deeply and unconditionally ……and usually lasts a lifetime….so there is hope!!
We are standing by for your application and would love to explain how our agency helps you find the RIGHT candidates for you to explore!! Please submit your personal profile and let us talk about your dating game!!
Shannon sending love from her heart to yours!! Submit your details today and we will be in touch!
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