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How Good am I at Dating? Groundhogging is a Red Flag

As professional matchmakers and date coaches, we are always asked (after a statement like “I need help because I suck at dating!”) what talent and SKILLS does one need to date successfully? Meaning, in translation: “why can’t I just find what I seek?” and we hear the yearning.  Herein lies the answer!! You are NOT dating until you are attracted, mutually happy to explore exclusively!! Until then you are exploring, and all it takes is human interaction! Believe it or not, no cheesy pick up lines, smarty-pants jokes or OTT sexual innuendo needed!!

The fact is you need to meet the RIGHT prospects!! You need to explore who and what is out there and RIGHT for you!!  A matchmaker fast tracks this process with excellent results by finding the RIGHT match.

What is “human interaction” then?? Hey, we are doing this all day everywhere, unless we live on top of Old Smokey!!

The dating Culture

For sure, there is a dating culture (maybe old fashioned boy-meet-girl and the traditional steps for courtship when seeking a relationship) ….all relationships have a hypothetical culture as we adapt to different situations, like any relationship we build with friends, family, colleagues or acquaintances is all different “cultures” as we adapt (chameleons?) ………based on real human communication and interaction. If any game of charades are at play, or fake/false behaviour, pretentiousness, selfish agendas or self-importance ruling the interaction, for sure, it is doomed ….it may end up a fling or hook-up because then it does not matter if you present as Lord of the Rings or Sleeping Beauty, the nearest bedroom is the destination. Soon, game over!!

If we carry burdens of lost love, jealousy or revenge like rocks in our hearts, our intentions cannot be happy ones! We then need “a fix” and we are not properly tuned in but desperate!! “Please love ME!!”. Someone else must make us feel better!! Tickle our tummies and smooth our feathers?? Or become the unwitting recipient of our negativity as we moan….a slave to our whims…..even worse? We subconsciously play out and act out based on our thoughts and feelings when emotions are negative.

We have to let go of these negative patterns. It may even be general fearfulness of not being “good enough” and needing validation.

We do not need validating when we’re happy!

When we are loving our lives (and yes, many goals and dreams to still attain because doing life is a work in progress always) and when we want to share our happiness, contentment, can laugh at ourselves….and just relax and allow life to unfold.  Banish fears imprinted in us in the past (how do we do this? we can help!) by outdated norms, other people’s criticism and negativity, because it spoils our vibrational level.  It costs nothing to be nice. We can also walk away if not to our liking!! We are allowed to have boundaries.

Your matchmaker’s advice

So being GOOD AT LIFE IS THE SKILL!! Dating follows the positive patterns you use to live meaningfully. No “dating skills” or special talent as such needed!!

We have recently chatted about “breadcrumbing”, “ghosting” and “love bombing”……here is another dating mistake called “groundhogging’, when we keep choosing the same types (that never worked so far, right?) and repeating same old patterns!! Being stuck in your hole, comfort zone or lacking courage to try something new!

We can assist with dating successfully, losing old habits and enjoying a new dating adventure!! Please submit your person profile and we will be in touch!!

Shannon – your Matchmaker is standing by

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