Shannon, expert matchmaker and successful dating coach for nearly two decades, explored the issues around anxiety when finding love again. One of them is the anxiety most singles dating out there in the jungle suffer most – “am I good enough? Can someone else really love me?” Or is it the question: Will I find someone good enough? How will I know if they right for me? Am I going to used and abused?
Firstly, making the time to date by design and not default is the first new paradigm if you want to avoid some dating anxiety – being rushed on the fly never works. All singles seeking to find love again, are frantically using any and all dating sites and social media platforms, from free online apps to Tinder etc., without a real plan…..but are they dedicating the time it needs to do it properly? Why not rather speak to your matchmaker who knows the roadmap to your love destination?
Serious singles need to make it like a “second job” and make the time! Dabbling around is a sure-fire cause of even more anxiety – will I be safe? Take time to choose carefully when meeting virtual strangers. It is senseless to believe you have fallen in love with someone you do not know – at all! You may desire them but that is not love – yet!! Wishful thinking!?
Your Matchmaker Banishes Your Dating Anxiety – Your Full Time Recruiter – For You!!
Time for dating needs dedication. The trend now is to use an “outsource” DATING AGENCY to screen, sift and personally introduce serious other singles to save you time, effort, costs (whether financially or emotionally) and anxiety! Your professional matchmaker is recruiting for you 24/7/365 to find your best potential and offer likely selected matches THAT ARE RIGHT FOR YOU! Does that not sound like relief from all the pressure when you go it alone!?
Is it not true that doing the same things over and over with same results is insanity! Get sound advice and get a workable plan when seeking love, by talking to an expert who knows the ropes, your dating expert and matchmaker!
It is non-productive though to use a specialized dating service or matchmaker when you do not have time to dedicate to finding lasting love and put in the effort – it is not delivered to your door. When you do strike it lucky, no new “love interest” is going to stick around long if you always busy, busy, busy! They are not Ken or Barbie who gets brought out of the toy cupboard to play when you feel like a bit of fun….they are yearning just like you if you are looking for more than Friends With Benefits.
The Biggest Stumbling Block When Dating – Dating Anxiety and Fear of Rejection!!
Indeed, why is it so difficult to find love? It should come naturally and easily, not so? Today we examine the possibility, well put in the article shared here, that sometimes we REJECT (a coping mechanism) any real chance of finding love because we are suffering rejection anxiety, or fear criticism or even hurtful reaction from others. (Reptilian Brain – fight or flight? Let me kill you before you kill me?).
It is often wasted effort when singles allow anxiety to sabotage their chances! Your matchmaker is your answer to change!
Do we become “people pleasers” without consciously knowing it? That means we really are seeking constant approval, not so? If we always are simply the best, am I totally guaranteed to find love!? Who is perfect then? Problem is, we secretly fear, am I good enough? By whose standards? Your expert matchmaker has the secrets!
We are loved when we are loveable and loving! That is a huge factor in successful dating and even more so in a relationship – because the “object of your attention” is as anxious as you to please you!
Love is simple when you break down the walls of assumptions, fears and projections of failure, the antidote to anxiety. Let’s gift each other by giving assurances, so everyone feels approved and “safe” when with a new potential love interest. Then love can grow …..or not……time will tell…..
Nobody is Ever Perfect for Us, But Someone is Definitely Right for Us!
Accept the human phenomenon that we simply don’t always like each other, and truthfully, who likes that arrogant Mr./Ms. Perfect anyway, they give us more complexes!! So, it is fine to be imperfect, because when we do love each other, LOVE is perfect!
When we feel safe and approved of and loved, and can even laugh at our foibles, mistakes, imperfections and strangeness, in mutual weirdness, as Dr. Seuss says! People are weird, love is weird, accept it!
Yes, everybody who knows us loves us, imperfections, warts and all – do we then expect a stranger to also automatically “love us and accept us the way we are” …….?? Logic says – impossible!! People grow and learn in love until the end game!
Your hidden passion and longing for that gorgeous hunk at the gym may be a fantasy, someone you do not even know, or that stunning blonde/brunette bombshell you wish would wink at you – your private dream girl, but then you are DESIRING THAT PERSON, not seeking the RIGHT person that binds you in warmly and safely a love bubble, forever!
Maybe it is time to get real and MEET the right singles and actually start dating the right others to find The One for YOU, and trust your matchmaker to do the hard work for you, with less stress and anxiety! And expect to pay a fee for a service that can change your entire future! Invest in yourself because you are worth it!
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Fond regards, Shannon and your Team