As a recognized coach, I would like to share the realities that single women over 40 face in trying to find love.
The first challenge they face is that men over 40 tend to date women who are 5-10 years younger than them. So for women, that means that your likely partner, if you are single and in your 40’s, is going to be over 50. And the older you get, the older he will be! Now I don’t know about you, but the thought of dating someone 10 years older than me, doesn’t fill me with enthusiasm.
I also hear from a lot of women, that they don’t have TIME to date, time to look for a decent guy – with all that involves these days. Sure, they are busy with their careers, getting ahead in the world, possibly looking after kids still etc. But the truth is, you are not getting any younger. Every year that passes means more wrinkles, grey hair and less ‘juice’ and youthfulness in your appearance. So if I was you, I would absolutely prioritize finding a partner. You don’t want to face your 50’s on your own! And every year that passes, your chances diminish. Remember you are competing, not with women your own age, but with women 5-10 years younger than you!
Here’s A Few Things You Can Do
Many women come to me for coaching when they finally realize that the 1 common denominator in all the failed relationships and ‘bad’ guys out there – is THEM! If you keep attracting similar men who treat you in the same ways, it’s time for some self-reflection. A well-kept, slim and attractive ‘external package’ definitely helps (remember that men are visual creatures)! But without the internal shifts, nothing will change. It can be difficult to see what it is that is causing your attraction patterns… that’s when it’s time to turn to a coach.
Develop A Proper Dating Strategy
… and put in the time and effort it takes. Sure this can include online dating – but you need to know what you are doing to avoid scammers, and months of ‘chatting’ before you meet. There are many other ways to meet good men! But you have to be prepared to put in the time, and prioritize this. Realistically, commit 4-6 hours a week to this. Be clear on what you want before you start. And be ruthless about eliminating timewasters! (This is a core part of my programs. Everything you need to generate a ’pipeline’ of a lot of quality men to choose from.)
Join A Matchmaking Agency
Gone are the days when matchmaking had a stigma. If you want a safe, relatively easy option, this is a great way to go. There are ways to do this that will make the experience fun and easy… or ways that make it a drag. I work closely with Perfect Partners, the premium (and largest) matchmaker in South Africa. I also teach people how to drastically up their chances of success, even with a matchmaker. I’ve seen too many people put others off by small things they do wrong when dating! It’s not as easy as ‘when you meet your dream guy, you’ll just know it’. You need to know how the opposite sex ticks!
Work With A Love Coach
Again, time for some brutal honesty. If you’re single in your 40’s, it’s very likely that you’ve got some blocks. This could be getting over past hurt and relationship trauma, clearing issues that have followed you around your whole life, or overcoming beliefs about yourself, men and the world. Here’s an article that shows that people who work with somebody who holds them accountable, increases their chance of success by up to 95%! I don’t know about you, but those odds are worth it.
Isn’t it time to sort out whatever is stopping you from a great love life?
Go here for more: www.succeedatlove.com/welcome/