Singles Dating and Not Falling in Love – and One Observation After Watching “The Bachelor SA”
by Perfect Partners
Shannon, a very busy and expert matchmaker offering quality introductions to serious and upmarket Singles seeking real dates, read an interesting article about why one of the contestants walked off the set and left the show and shares her view on this common syndrome of feeling rejected in love before even knowing the â€œobject of your longing heartâ€ well enoughâ€¦â€¦the lady in question felt rejected and left in a huge depression!
Apparently, she entered the show with huge expectations of being The Chosen One, and once she realised the competition against 20+ others was very challenging, she went into a huge depressionâ€¦â€¦..
She had always been unlucky at love and believed she stood as good a chance as any to win the Bachelorâ€™s heart â€¦.but soon learnt there was going to be no preferential attention or sign she â€œwas The Oneâ€â€¦even when she believed she had made a â€œlove connectionâ€ with Lee, but when pushed aside in a photoshoot he didnâ€™t insist she be left standing next to him â€¦..was really annoyed!
She sobbed for a week!Â â€œI stopped my whole life to try to find love and this man just had no interestâ€ â€¦â€¦..and she stresses nothing is contrived or scripted, what we see is what goes down.Â She said it felt like rejection. And deep depression followed.
“I shake my head in bewilderment” Says Matchmaker
Okay, it is just a TV show, but it showcases 90% of the mindset out there on dating!
This tells me:
The lovely lady had no idea of what it takes to actually date with design (not default) and to fall in love!
She did not realise that there were ONLY 24 lovely ladies to compete with and that in a real-world there are maybe 24 million, 4 million, 40,000 or 40!!
Men are looking at ALL the single ladies out there to find The One when setting out to find the love of his life (and yes, men still have the choices, even ifÂ women are equal in most other areas, the man has the GIFT to offer when showing interest in a lady first, a token of honour and chivalry)â€¦the awesome quality single that fits like a hand in glove, both waysâ€¦.and this means:
- You need to date a variety of quality single others to really know who is out there, and what suits you bestâ€¦â€¦best if introduced by a matchmaker, friends, family or colleagues who has some background to share with you
- You can never assume someone is RIGHT, WRONG or MAYBE, if you do not take time to know each otherâ€¦â€¦3 dates at least
- You need to get to know someone really with quality dating (not just whatsapping) well to assess if you really â€œfitâ€ beyond the first rush of passionâ€¦..
- You are heading for a crash if you have a â€œfantasyâ€ idea of who should love YOU, and think you will automatically win
- You are hoping to marry said â€œsomeoneâ€ (whoever this may be in your mind)â€¦â€¦yes, competing against many thinking the SAME!
- You expect a magical â€œthis is ITâ€ â€¦â€¦â€¦.but had no clue as to what happens in relationship building between â€œhelloâ€, the first kiss (maybe) and then finding out if that someone is even â€œsafeâ€, serious, sincere, and fits!
- You need to know competition is rife for attention from the best of the best singlesâ€¦.and up your game or leave the competition to find the best and just accept â€œbest for nowâ€â€¦â€¦..but then, what about all the competition around you anyway, it will not go away? It will always be thereâ€¦..
- You never go looking for a wife or husband â€¦â€¦.you look for someone to love, and who loves you equally, then the rest followsâ€¦.after you meet and check it out!
Why Still single despite many dates?Â
If you make finding a man or a woman to love you your focal point, as the â€œright personâ€ it is the one biggest mistake, what is most important is seeking happiness, and finding someone with potential to love you equallyâ€¦â€¦â€¦ surely nobody is dating someone they donâ€™t know well enough yet? You date when you have a chosen single and it looks promising â€¦â€¦..
It is every single ladyâ€™s dream to fall in love (and he with her) with this awesome, handsome and engaging person in your gun sights, just because you on a dating site, a dating show or â€¦â€¦at an agency who recruit for youâ€¦but is it a given?â€¦â€¦food for thought? Who sez?Â Who decided? What happens to natural attraction?Â Or personal choices? You need to put in the work to get what you want!
No, people need to earn love, attract those they desire (a mirror image of themselves is practical) and they need to work very hard at keeping love!
At least she did save face and exit, although if she stayed she may have matured her views and realised what a chance to gain insights to the real world.
Any bets anyway that Lee will NOT end up permanently with a new love with any of these ladies, after the show â€¦..just as in Dinner Date and other dating shows, it seldom if ever worksâ€¦â€¦the only one where marriage comes FIRST is â€œMarriage At First Sightâ€ â€¦â€¦..marrying a chosen stranger â€¦.and then still no proof yet if they even last a yearâ€¦we are all watching!Â Would any sane person do that?
So guys, we celebrate our own endeavours to INTRODUCE you to potential and COMPATIBLE soul mates and find you the BEST MATCH for your mutual â€œforever afterâ€ â€¦..so happy socialising everyone â€¦we promise, love will find you!! This is still the safest and best way to seek your true love â€¦..
Sending much love and light to all, and see next week
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