Dating, Relating and Mating in South Africa, and now breadcrumbing

Aug 25, 2021 | Blogs

Dating, Relating & Mating

by Perfect Partners

Our Matchmaker and New Trends

Our very astute and dedicated matchmaker, Shannon, has researched new trends in the world of dating whether Singles are seeking a soul mate via dating sites or a dating agency! The dynamic of  “boy meets girl” never changes, and the secret to success is meeting the RIGHT prospect and being sure your heart is safe, for starters! Being personally introduced by a matchmaker can make all the difference for a successful ending!

Today we talk about this dating game and called a “game” for a reason, and how important it is to get to know each other BEFORE you actually are even dating! It can be a lovely game, sexual tensions build and everything feels just right – when we do it right, for the right reasons! People falling in love want to impress and pour affection on each other, drop the walls and open the doors!!

Dating and Meeting Genuine Singles Through a Dating Agency

Even before Singles can start dating, it is vital to find attraction and often blinded by exploding stars and fireworks, wrong choices are made! Attraction starts at “hello” and is the first step to exclusively dating the person who has your full attention. Attraction is usually visual and chemistry kicks in and that is how nature intended! BUT, Shannon warns, you are still strangers until you have got to know each other! Never be blinded by delusions of “this must be LOVE! Because this is a little deceptive and can just be wishful thinking, even delusional!!

Relating in the Dating Game and Finding Love

Relating is vital to the bonding and while your head is still spinning with delight, adapt, transform, negotiate and accept each other……then the mating is a natural process! If the other way around, you may wake up one morning and ask “What the heck did I do! I am not sure we are even suited to each other! EEEK!”……then the “how do I get out of this?” arises.

Then the ghosting, gaslighting and even “Breadcrumbing” begins!! This can be stressful and even worse if you are love-bombed by the other (disappointed) party, who is borderline stalking you!! A love relationship is a serious investment and you want to make the best investment, not so?

Love Bombing, Ghosting and Stalking when Dating

Love bombing is date-speak for when one party is more blinded by new love than the other, may feel insecure and have a deep need to be sure that person is not forgetting them for a single moment! It can almost be stalking because OTT attention can be very smothering, and warning bells start ringing ……are they neurotic? Jealous? Or worse……..manipulating! and oh no, narcissism………and you are the one at fault!!

Ghosting ……well, the questions come “why are they not responding to calls and texts?” or “Always busy? Don’t seem to have time for me” – and other excuses…my dog is ill, whatever (avoidance guys, it is real) ……it is difficult to tell as they may have a crisis, but truth is, if they feel the same commitment as you, they would respect your attention or even actually ask for time out, some help or comfort…….so be aware and no denial allowed… may be over!

Breadcrumbing…..well now, most interesting!! They are not love bombing or ghosting, but leaving little crumbs of hope to keep you just interested enough, in case they want a comeback, “maybe they do really like me” is a tantalising thought, “maybe they shy, awwwww”… can be many reasons!! Especially with online dating, no move made to actually meet? But crumbs being thrown? Think very carefully!!

Our professional dating agency, with expert matchmaking skills, excellent date coaching experience, and a long-track record of success stories, is standing by to hear from you!! Complete your online (very private and secure) personal profile and submit it today, we would love to have our free orientation discussion on how it works!
Dating Game Over?  Examples of Breadcrumbing:
There are a few reasons people breadcrumb. For the person going through it, here’s a little more insight. Take what resonates based on the person and your situation.


  • They just aren’t sure. There’s definitely something they like about you, but they’re still testing the waters. They’re not always trying to hurt you. (Particularly true for newer connections).
  • They just need an ego-boost and you’re their go-to (This has never been cool, will never be cool).
  • They don’t want to hurt your feelings because they know how you feel (Sometimes politeness goes too far my unaware breadcrumbers).
  • They were just lonely (again, never been cool).
  • They want to keep a connection with you for future possibilities (this mostly applies to exes who don’t know what they want right now/have regrets but still aren’t sure about actually getting together).
  • They’re scared of commitment. Listen, commitment issues are as real and sad as Drake’s song Marvin’s Room. However, you have to note that it’s not your responsibility to fix those issues. You can’t make someone love you by loving them harder. Read that again.
  • They miss you but don’t know how to say it clearly (again, louder for the exes in the back.)
  • It’s a booty-call chat. (They’re giving you what they think you want to hear, but their motives are all toward the frisk).

If you’re being breadcrumbed, you might feel an obscure sense of self-worth, or worse, stupid or even used. None of that kings and queens! This kind of behaviour is not on you but on the breadcrumber. It’s absolutely okay to call someone out on it. Be clear, tell them you’re not in the mood for games and see what happens.

Read the next article: dating seriously for a relationship