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I love my work helping people find love in South Africa. It’s so special when a client takes the time to write. This is from this week. Here I am helping as a Johannesburg Matchmaker on how to beat the age blues when dating.

“L” writes:

Beautifully explained, Shannon. Thank you! Now I understand. It is hard to accept but I guess fantasy versus reality has to be faced if we truly seek that lasting relationship and real love, by looking at the age group that suits and works. Also status and lifestyle.

I am embarrassed to admit that many of the younger guys I have dated turned out to be real scammers and frauds and if I look at it, I possibly opened myself to it. They were exactly what you say, had “mommy complexes” and agendas, looking for a leg-up in one way or another. And yes, I fell for it. They never stayed!

Now I can adjust knowing that there are wonderful genuine guys out there who also look after themselves and keep their mojo going, it is not just us ladies any more who can lay claim to keeping our spirits burning bright. I feel very comfortable you have these real men on your books, secure in themselves and still chivalrous and full of hope for a wonderful future with a worthy lady, so much to do and so much to see, with plenty of love to share. I still stand a chance because I know I am worth it! Viva Perfect Partners, looking forward to the next introduction!

Kindest

“L”

REPLY:

Happy Tuesday dear lovely “L”

Indeed as we all age and are no longer spring chickens, even if we feel we are, I can only agree that 60 is the new 50 and 50 the new 40. We do not age these days if we take good care of ourselves. Age is spiritual too and the spirit can remain bright when we are positive.

We certainly do look at the younger guys for you, but 98% of them are insistent on sticking to their age criteria, usually 8- 10 years younger.  Those that are flexible, we do approach but the standard response is “I am happily meeting ladies in their 40’s and even 30’s, so why on earth would I need to go older than me, unless I need something I cannot get myself?”

The fact is savvy men are also not “aging” and know what they can attract.  The other problem is that younger women target (especially on places like Tinder and Zoosk) older men for the luxury life and security, making these mature guys believe they are highly in demand (excellent for their ego) so they laugh at us!

There are men that go for “older” women, but they are also like those young women who target “older” and have agendas or a slight psychological need with a “mommy complex” or simply curiosity or they are toy boys and want to be spoiled. They will love but they will also leave!

We have men calling us daily asking for Sugar Mommies, young, old, Black, Indian and White, but mostly the broke-ass dudes and they are offering their “services” in return for “attention” and I guess they get it right on many platforms from vulnerable and trusting ladies of substance!

The chances of attracting a younger guy “cold” in a live meeting is often stronger because he may not guess your age and be attracted before he knows, and if attraction is there, may not care but it is rare that they are keepers anyway.

So, on we march angel, and always looking out for you.

Love and light until next,

Fond Regards

Shannon

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