We are well into 2022 and we realising that the Big Shift in the dating/relating/mating world is real. We are living right now through many change-dynamics, more so in the world of dating, and today we share some input on the dilemma of the question, serial dating or multiple dating?
How to avoid becoming a serial dater
Rumour has it that many popular dating apps are losing traction compared to pre-pandemic years for the very reason it turns well-meaning Singles into “serial daters” as they furiously swipe and like profiles online. The fact is, the world has returned to the human element and a desire to be appropriately introduced – if not by friends and family, a professional dating agency. Well-intentioned Singles are also prepared to pay a fee for the safety element of proper screening.
How can a Dating Plan work for You?
It starts off with knowing your “dating plan” and as mentioned before, there is “best for now”, flings and hook-ups and casual dating, which also means some Singles will go through as many “dates” as they can in as short a time as possible – inevitably leaving heartache, regrets and even trauma behind, because someone will be “rejected” (because they maybe did not manage their expectations? And assumed?)…and that is true rejection when you have invested and suddenly you are a throw-away. Worse, some have no conscience about being polyamorous (it is the fashion) and have many lovers. Different strokes for different folks and we do not judge, but we do not want this for our lovely people! That is “serial dating”. Not here!
I feel we need to examine the word “dating” first. Surely logic and reason inform us that we are NEVER dating someone until there is mutual consent to exclusively share, trust and invest from the heart? We prefer to call it “meet-ups” before dating is a given, and even better, it is exploring and networking then everyone begins to understand what and who they truly need, who they are, who they gravitate to and just wanting to BE IN LOVE inspires!
So let’s take a step back; we all know there are choices but are we making choices based on fact or assumption? It is different when we prescribe what we want, using a “wish list” or “I want, and I must have” assumptions – which is often decided even before you have to make choices because we have already assumed what will work for us, or not. It usually does not!
It is still the Old “Boys Meet Girl” Scenario?
It is your “spec” or your blue print according to your needs, constructed from your experience (how much experience then?). Like when buying a vehicle or house, you are drawn to that which you assumed is perfect for you. All the “must haves” are pre-determined. Is this then always the right choice? It is a bitch when you find out too late, it wasn’t.
It starts with every human on the planet wanting to love and to be loved, and is the motivation then for finding the RIGHT other! Never before in mankind’s history have Singles had so many options to find love on many platforms, like choosing a needle in a haystack. That is why we are here to recruit your best options. Each intro starts with at least a 50% chance of winning. What are the odds in the proverbial haystack?
Even if you believe you have met the perfect person as per your wish/spec/blueprint, the perfect human, perfect everything, when do you know it is RIGHT? All the up-ticks are there, BUT? Why are we then still Single? Again?
Back then dating by design and not default, meaning having a strategy in the beginning to EXPLORE is the design – your specific landscape, your community, your lifestyle needs and the others you are introduced to as potential “love of my life” prospects. Not just casting your net here, there and everywhere, assuming “this is it” (grabbing the first life raft or the first one who meets your spec) but doing research – your future is, after all a project, and projects are structured step by step. And finding the right partner in love means building a future together (unless your thang is then serial dating) until the end game.
Exploring all the above will necessitate multiple dating, and it is tough! Because it is necessary to gain experience – but let’s change that to meeting multiple prospective dates, because you will then know when it feels right and is RIGHT – that it is that exclusive date, by choosing responsibly, from the heart, from a base of trust and faith that solidifies a love bond, by mutual consent. This is healthy dating (exploring) as then often myths are debunked, assumptions proved wrong, and the good old “framework of reference” expands to knowing what is truly right.
Dating with consciousness then, with enthusiasm, an open mind, meeting as many prospects as possible, and allowing yourself to choose also to be open to love finding YOU surely has to bring results. It may take a little longer (no instant gratification, that is serial dating) but will pay huge dividends.
As we have said often, it is a fact that 99.99% of those you explore may not be right, but .01% will be – what more can we ask for? (Unless we polygamists?). You will meet your chosen first dates and explore, and some will be totally wrong, a total flop or a mistake, but if we hang in there, ONE will be right – and timing is up to the universe, not us. And almost guaranteed, the new “forever after” love will not be anywhere close to that assumed wish list! It will be exponentially BETTER!
It also takes time to know each other – so never assume, because the first few dates were rocking your moon, that it is going to last! So quality and not quantity still rules (it is still not a kid in a sweet shop scenario – that is online dating) and give everyone a chance to relax and show their best side (or their worst, end of story), and you may truly get to like and appreciate them – even if just for the gift of meeting other lovely folks.
Keep in mind that when everyone is meeting multiple others and exploring, there is competition – be your best, don’t self-sabotage and don’t assume – let love happen as it will and does! Lose that checklist and meet all prospects because you are NOT “dating” until there is mutual exclusivity.
Sending love and light from our hearts to yours and looking forward to receiving your application form.
Read our next blog: Dating, Intuition, Red Flags and Triggers