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How do we avoid confusion when dating?

Shannon has some interesting aspects to share on how do we ever know when it is right or wrong when dating. Every day we discuss this matter of when it is a red flag or intuition. What are we feeling really? Or is it an assumption we make erroneously? Maybe we are triggered by something and overthinking? Or is it actually intuition? My granny always said “trust your gut child” and maybe she was right! But being human, often our wishful thinking overrides this and we DO make errors in judgement – especially when we are burning and yearning for that Significant Other to enter our life – and maybe a little hasty. Talking to your matchmaker is the smart way to go!!

When we explore more and expand our framework of reference on the dating dynamics, we do get more astute. The danger lies in becoming cynical!!  Worse, believing love is just not meant for us and risking not even trying or just taking whatever comes our way. So, we never let hope and dreams die here!! Everyone deserves love. The key is meeting the RIGHT prospect and opening up to the vibrations that are always present. Our VIBE affects the tribe!!

Is it Fate? Who is my soulmate?

We all fantasize from the day we become aware of the ‘boy/girl dynamic’ and feel a stirring of excitement at the prospect of actually finding love. I can remember being smitten at around the age of 5 by a 9-year-old I met at playgroup, and instinctively knew I wanted to be NOTICED!! Of course, it was a childish crush and came to nothing, but it did make me happy when I was acknowledged. I remember beating him at marbles – and that was the end of that, he didn’t like losing to a girl but we became good friends!! It was purely a gut feeling and that was the start of my realisation that some people you truly like immediately, or not. The start of becoming a social being.

Was he maybe a soulmate? I asked myself that question many times for the next few decades on many new crushes!! It did not matter what or who he was at a young age, it was just “boy meets girl” until awareness kicked in that we should choose carefully who we hang with, and even more who we get up close and personal with – especially when dating.

Intuition, Triggers, Red Flags in Dating

If you have trouble distinguishing between your brilliant intuition and triggers from your past, or you tend to make assumptions to soon, you’re listening to the wrong inner guide. This can be one of the key reasons you’re single and you may be self-sabotaging your chances of love finding you. You’re being reactive instead of proactive in your love life. Many Singles who are dating after 40 are unknowingly shutting down their hearts to love by thinking that their triggers, which are based in fear and self-protection, are telling the truth. Your intuition (when you allow yourself to be vulnerable but careful still) which is based in love and core values, is the real truth-teller, your guide to true love. When ensuring your own boundaries and safety you can be more open which leads to more “receptors” working for you and never assume – work on proof.

The difference between Intuition and Triggers.

Intuition: Our intuition comes from aligning with our core values and what we are familiar with – even our imprinting. It’s pulled from past knowledge and experience, and its purpose is to help us be true to ourselves. It is our guiding light when the obvious is not ringing true or something requires more than just logic and thinking.

Triggers: Our triggers can be negative or positive and often come from fear, self-protection, and past pain. It can be a reminder of something really good or something you really disliked. We recognize a trigger when we have emotional reactivity when our conscious or even subconscious reacts. We are triggered to react a certain way, sometimes impulsively.

Red Flags: with dating and relationship experience we recognise repeating patterns in ourselves and others, real warnings that guide us to be more mindful and cautious. Behaviour patterns in others are understanding your assessment of human interaction, and often is repetitive, like narcissism, personality disorder or emotional imbalance.  These are things we see quickly, rather than just intuition, when we know the difference.

We see it exactly for what it is and most of the time choose to walk away from behaviour, attitudes, syndromes or trauma we instantly recognise and simply cannot afford to entertain, even if we wish to deny them at first. RUN!!

We look forward to your enquiry!! Please submit your Personal Profile – it only comes to Shannon and is not on any site or social media – and we will contact you for a free orientation chat on how it all works! Having an experienced date and relationship coach as your matchmaker is key to success of the lasting kind.

Fond Regards with love and light until next time,

Shannon and the Team